DP and his 'big dreams'

[dustyair]

DP complains constantly about how he's stuck in this dead-end job and that he can do a better job than 'those morons' currently doing his dream job. I told him at the time that if he wanted to get qualifications, he can do so and I'll support us both financially. He procrastinated, did some research, and that idea was soon thrown out because he missed the registration date and didn't want to wait another year!

Then about a year ago, he told me about this 'lifelong' dream he has of setting up a coffeeshop. I asked if he had a solid business plan. He claimed he did, took 1 month unpaid leave to sample coffees, did a few queries w.r.t. rental spaces, and as soon as things were starting to get more concrete, he again procrastinated and that bloody idea was dead in the water too.

Ever since he turned 30, he's been increasingly bitter and cynical about how the odds are 'stacked against him' - I'm getting quite sick and tired of it by now. In fact, we've just had a massive argument about how he hates everything despite not wanting to do anything about it, and yet I'm the one that's 'unsupportive'! What the hell does he want me to do?

This isn't going to work out, right?

The month off, unpaid leave to sample coffees ..... is hilarious if it wasn’t so pathetic.

I have this vision of this smug, precious, fool
riding on a mule up through the mountains of Colombia.

Were any of the coffees as bitter as him?

So does that mean he prioritised taking his annual leave for himself - rather than spending it with you?

Was he able to pay his rent, bills, food as normal or did you have to subsidise it?

@coldemort

In my mid 20s I dated a guy who's life plan was to move to Tenerife to play international football. He was deadly serious. He played (bad) Sunday league football but his plan was to take a year to 'learn' how to play professionally, get residency in tenerife, and due to the small population of the island, get selected for the national team. To reiterate again, he was deadly serious. He'd now be early 40s and as far as I know still works in a call centre selling insurance...

Haha! I swear every man I dated in my twenties had once had "trials" with at least one premier league club... sure, Jan

Op it will only get worse. I supported dh when he was my dp. He had dreams and he started his own business and I paid all the bills etc while he was busy building his business. His business was doing well and then we got married. He then decided he didn't want to run the business anymore and he put me through stress when I was 8 months pregnant. Dh then got a new job which was a dream job opportunity and he started 2 weeks before the baby was due and had no time off when my ds was born I did it all by myself after having an emergency c section. He then decided he couldn't do that job anymore a couple of months later and he got another job. Fast forward 5 years and he has done various courses because you guessed it he has other dreams and is currently training to do something completely different to all the above. My patience has warn very thin now I'm stuck with a child. Run op!