Ok so I know I’m probably going to sound pathetic

[Toll2]

We agreed not to send photos of the kids to in-laws . FaceTime fine .

Long story but it was to do with how much sharing of kids photos was going on , despite repeated requests for them to keep photos to themselves .

In laws seem to have accounts set up and have recently messaged my OH saying that they have a ‘ password ‘ for our newborn .

That’s all I know . I know I’m going to sound like a total psycho for reading his message

Am I being paranoid or is my OH sharing photos behind my back ?

?

Possibly he is. When you say you agreed, was that he willingly proactively said he didn't wish to share or you put your foot down?

Accounts set up on what?

He was proactively willing . But I know his parents were trying to wear him down

Are your dps allowed pictures?

Accounts set up . I have no idea on what or for what purpose . All I know is there is an account and a password

No my dps are not allowed pictures either .

Well obviously call him out on it. He needs to be in the same page as you imo..

Sounds like you need more info OP. You have a right to know what people are doing with the kids' photos. They can still take photos on FaceTime.

In fact it’s OH parents that caused all this , I used to send them pics and they’d end up all over the place . So I stopped . Then it was one rule for all relatives . Which was and has been very unfair for everyone else , but seemed the best way cuz the in laws kicked up so much stink over it

Shall I admit I read his text message ?

I feel like I shouldn’t have read it but I’ve had a suspicion. Other things not going well . I overheard his dad seriously skating my parents on the phone and telling him to limit the time my children spend at their house .

*slating

Anyone !?

You sound kind of crazy

What kinds of accounts?

Like email accounts? Or could it be a savings account?

God really? Just chill. Honestly, it's exhausting.

I doubt the pics of your kids were ending up in paedo pairs or anything

Tell them to fuck right off.. and tell your DH that you've seen the messages and he's a dick... no more secrets OP.. don't be polite for they're sakes.....because they have no problem insulting anyone else right.. so stand your ground Lady...

What's the big deal about people seeing pictures of your kids? It all sounds odd on both sides.

They have specific accounts set up with the kids photos? I don't understand.

Unless I'm missing a lot of background information, it sounds crazy to not allow grandparents to have pictures. Is there some specific danger your children are in if their pictures are seen by other people?

Also, why would your in-laws be telling your husband to limit your children's time with your parents? What reason did they give?

Sounds to me l im ke everyone is unreasonably suspicious of everyone else in your extended family. Is there cause for it?

You need to ask exactly what these accounts are.

If you don't feel comfortable with kids photos on social media, then you have every right to say this and take action if people are ignoring your request ie don't forward any photos on. I asked my sister in law if she was ok with photos of my niece on Facebook, she said no problem. If she did have a problem then I wouldn't have uploaded them. It's called respect.

People are so obsessed with sharing on social media and try to make those who aren't of the same persuasion feel weird. It's not weird. It's called staying within and being comfortable with your own boundaries.

We are a mixed race couple . Where his parents are from our kids are of a novel mix and draw a lot of interest not always nice , in fact , mostly not . Photos were being shared Despite us asking not to including hairdressers and anyone who would look . Watts app group messages etc When I visit the in laws area I’d get questions from random people who seem to know a lot about my family background , and ask strange questions about private family dynamics .

Needless to say mixed race relationships are very common where I am from so don’t have the same scrutiny .

Overall it was partly because some people who have access to my private family moments have been so unkind and insensitive in their comments , on top of the scrutiny about the colouring of my children etc etc , that has made me weary .

I’m a private person and don’t post family photos on social media , irrespective of the above , and have in laws who do not understand that I don’t want to and have never wanted to be posted on the internet even before my children came along

Why should I be forced to do that if I don’t want to just because they do ?

Do i not have the right to protect my children from unwelcome scrutiny and privacy .

I do feel uncomfortable with child pictures on line for all to see. I would put a stop to it. I've not ever picture posted any of my dcs and I certainly wouldn't except my dcs sending me pics of my grandchildren. Not good I can see your frustration!

You're going to have to ask him aren't you. Surely if you have them on social media you know whether the pictures are being shared or not?

Just try and keep it as light as possible rather than accusatory. Atm you literally have no idea anyway.