Present from a colleague

[sadonfriday]

Would you be upset if your partners work colleague bought them a gift out of the blue? Addressed it to them using an in-joke name?

What's the back story? Male or female colleague? Why has it upset you?

Depends. A joke gift costing a couple of quid? Maybe not.

Female colleague. It’s random, and not like a ‘got you this from the bakers at lunch’. It’s an item that she wouldve had to look for and order. It’s given me a funny feeling. He told me straightaway

@Kerning not jokey. It’s a nice thing. Not secret Santa or anything

Sounds like she has a crush.

That's odd. How long have they known each other? Are they very good friends? Friends outside of work?

I don't think I would be worried about a jokey in-work type of gift. What was it? Maybe she just saw it and it made her laugh and thought it would make your DH laugh? I am not the jealous type though.

I wouldn't be upset but I'd be questioning why she did it.

I mean, it's highly unlikely she's done the same for all her colleagues, is it?

A tshirt for something he likes. Don’t see each other outside of work, it’s a workplace he’s in once or twice a week

I'd find that very odd

Hmmm. Is it a mutual hobby/interest they share perhaps? Still think it's odd. Anything else going on that's making you feel uneasy?

Hmmm. Hard to know. This is the sort of thing I’d do for a colleague if I thought it would make them smile...though I might be more cautious doing it for a male colleague if he were married...though that doesn’t mean I definately wouldn’t. Hmmm its a hard one.

I think it’s made me uneasy because it’s the sort of thing I would buy him, and would go looking around the internet for. I don’t know why she would

I’ve bought small gifts for colleagues before (I’m male, with a long term female partner) including for female and gay male workmates.

Never anything of huge value - a t-shirt would be towards the top end, but if I see something when I’m on holiday or on the internet that reminds me of someone I’ll sometimes get it for them. I think it’s just a nice gesture - it doesn’t have to have creepy or sexual undertones.

A tee shirt is a bit personal, I think. I'd not be v pleased and I'd find it intrusive.

Thanks for responding- I think I just wanted a benchmark.

The woman in questions name isn't Jennifer is it? 😂 It depends on the woman. Does she have feelings for him? Has your partner even thought that she has feelings for him? Has she she tried anything on? Was it for a birthday or something?

Its just a T shirt, a bit odd but some people are odd. Does she pick up stuff for other people in the office? She couldve been browsing and come accross something that reminded her of him. So mang questions.. 'Woman gave man T shirt' isnt enough to scream affair in my opinion.

What does your partner think - does he think it's odd or typical of her/her personality?

Do you trust him?

Agree with Nothavingfunrightnow, it's a bit too personal. She put thought and effort into it. Why would she? Hope you're OK OP

I would find it a bit too personal probably unless it was an obvious jokey thing or maybe something they shared in common. However if you don’t have any issues with your partner and trust him then I wouldn’t worry too much about it, if she has an crush on him that’s her issue, you should just focus on your relationship

This is why I love mumsnet.
Sent the message, pretty evenly asking what the story is. Hoping the response is oh she’s a bit weird but harmless enough

So has your partner text you to tell you this?

I'd have asked him face to face what the story was to be honest rather than over text.

Yea he told me soon as he got to work today

I would’ve also preferred face to face but I won’t see him tonight