Present from a colleague

[sadonfriday]

Would you be upset if your partners work colleague bought them a gift out of the blue? Addressed it to them using an in-joke name?

Inappropriate. She is using an in-joke name and taking the time to find ‘just the right thing’ for him. It feels too intimate.

What is he saying about her and her too-familiar behavior?

He laughed and said he’s not interested in the slightest. He’s never given me cause to doubt him before and we are happy

...it's a T-shirt not a love letter

It is dealt with.

Ps if I ever see him wearing it, I will chop it into 83928 pieces. If he’s lucky I will let him take it off first 😉

You sound certifiably unhinged

Do people really think a t-shirt is a personal gift? I think its on a par with a fridge magnet or a baseball cap, albeit slightly more expensive. I would suspect that she is the sort of person who is a bit socially inept and uses gifts to buy friendship and attention. I have worked with 2 women like this, and both of them caused issues in other peoples relationships, as it happens.

@Saucy99 cheers Hun 👍🏻

To be honest, I wouldn't think much at all. And mums net, especially relationships is. Quite biased with this type of thing, mainly cos a lot of women on here have been hurt from their husbands in the past, get support from people on here so see it from that viewpoint and experience
I lent a work colleague a spare phone for a week or so which got him out of a hole and helped him out job wise. As a thank you he bought me a bottle of bubbly. Lovely thought, unexpected and I severely doubt he wants to jump my bones.
In any case, if you trust him, who cares

It's a Tshirt...not sexy underwear. I wouldn't lose sleep over it.

I know women who have done this and it's very transactional. These are insecure types who thing people have to like you as a person in order to help you with your job - or they are just ingratiating themselves in case they need work-related help later from that person. It's silly. Not romantic in the least. it's just a "please like me" thing so you'll answer my stupid work questions later.

I don't know....seems a bit personal to me.....bit odd I reckon

If it cost 1.99 then OK. Any more than that then she's over invested in him. But she could be like that with all men including her Dad. Just trying really hard to get noticed and liked.

Maybe they had a conversation about xyz, and mentioned said t-shirt, so she thought she’d buy it for him. Was a belated Christmas present? Does she buy other people presents also.

It is a bit strange when he only see her a couple of times a week, so not a close colleague.

What’s he going to do with the T-shirt? Does he wear T-shirt’s at work? I

He described her as a bit of an oddball tbh without too much going on in her life. Perhaps the usual boundaries aren’t that obvious to her. OH also agreed he wouldn’t be too happy either if the circumstance was reversed. Matter concluded.

It's not a big deal at all. I give my colleagues gifts up to £20 in worth.
It's a t shirt not a cock ring.

He’s told you straight away, confirmed that he doesn’t fancy her when asked, is as baffled as you by it. I wouldn’t be worried. And quite why you’d be cutting it up if he wore it I’m not sure! It’s just a t shirt of something he likes, not a t shirt declaring his love for her.. Doung that would make you a bit of an oddball too.

If this happened with my husband I’d just think “ that’s a bit weird, but he’ll like it” and not think much more of it.

@Honeyroar it was a flippant remark

I’ve got better things to do with my time!

He might be saying she's an oddball and no way is he interested OP but I'm sure plenty on here have heard that before. I've been cheated on (someone he worked with) and he made a real point of slamming her looks, personality and intellect anytime she came up as a pathetic deflection attempt.

At the end of the day they interact enough at work that she knows what his personal interests are and clearly felt comfortable enough with their dynamic to be buying him a gift, he didn't decline it or tell her not to presumably, bearing in mind he thinks she is so 'odd'.

If they're friends I don't see anything that awful about it. I'd not ever do it personally, but also would shut it down/not accept the gift if a random male colleague did this. Different story if they are good friends though! Obviously she likes him a lot in some capacity, he clearly speaks to her. Whether or not theres more to it depends on details, which we (and you) don't have.

I know it was a kind of flippant remark, but it’s obviously bothering you enough to write a thread.. ;I’m not saying that to knock you).