Longest you've not spoken after an argument

[saynomore]

Hi everyone,

I've been married for 3 years and within those years we've had our ups and downs, like any other couple.
When we fight it gets pretty nasty and quite toxic. It then results to me asking him to leave do to this abusive behaviour.
We've once gone 6 months with out talking and living separately, and now we're in the same predicament.
I well aware that this isn't normal, but I do question whether I love him or not.
Because when he's gone I don't miss him, however, I find myself back with him.

Has anyone been through this? I would appreciate some advice x

LTB

Oh ye loads of time it’s go s round in circles he comes back to me after being really abusive it’s nit physical it’s emotional this has gone in for years in and off got a autistic daughter growing up which makes it worse as he does not care when angry if she here’s him every time I say that’s it he somhow manage s to worm his way back but does it sneaky through my daughter she takes his side even tho he like he is.I don’t love him or wanto be with him anymo and certainly do nit miss him want him outof my life for good if only it was that simple.He tells me he’s never coming back like I really want him back he delusional I can’t stand him it s gone in for a very longtime nawt will change it’s a pattern now new year resolution to not take any after yet another year am wasting my time it’s just a very difficult suituation.As anyone else had this problem?

6 months??????!!!!!!! Just leave. That’s no life and you’ll be permanently damaging any children you have as well.

Fuck that! We have never even raised our voices in 5 years. You can do so much better.

What's the point OP?
LTB or kick him out. Very odd.

Christ on a bike, SIX MONTHS?!

You need to get out of the relationship- it sounds utterly toxic.

I couldn't go to sleep on an argument, let alone allow it to drag on for that long. Very much not normal.

Six months! Op, you are never going to be happy with this bloke. I've been with DH for 35 years, sulking was a deal breaker from the start. My mum and dad would go a week not talking, probably annually, and I vowed I'd never be with anyone who does that. It's a terrible atmosphere for your kids. It's toxic. You deserve better. Your kids deserve better.

Longest is probably 10 minutes?! We rarely argue at all, we are both too laid back and too placid for things to wind us up. We do get on very well, we also both work a hell of a lot coupled with three kids that we don’t have enough time in the day to argue!

Life is too short to live in such a miserable existence OP.

Be happy; whether thats with your husband or not. It’s not healthy and it’s not good for your mental wellbeing.

An hour. Long enough to calm down and either apologize for overreacting or realize that we need to focus on having a calm
Conversation, depending on the particular argument and it’s cause.

I think about a week or so, but that was years ago, and it wasn’t so much we didn’t talk as in ignoring eachother, it was just a bit distant. We just kept out eachothers way. Lots of stress, bereavements, new house, lost job, new job.
He still made me a lunchbox everyday and I still picked him up his favourite food from the Deli opposite my office. We just couldn’t cope.

I’m not sure I could manage a stropper.
LTB seriously. Do you have any irl friends you could go to? Do you have DC?

DH & I have had some properly shouty arguments. But, honestly the longest we've gone afterwards without speaking is about half an hour, maybe an hour if one of us had to go to work straight afterwards. Even then we'd call, at least to say let's try to sort it out later. 6 months is crazy, it sounds completely miserable & toxic, surely you're stressed & constantly walking on eggshells?

Probably a day or 2 and that’s mainly because we work opposite shifts and don’t get chance to sit down and talk it over. 6 months is ridiculous you would be better separating

No one in my life throws strops because they aren't children.

Or narcissists like your other half.

You don't tend to keep people with cluster b personality disorders in your life once you know what they are. Normal people are not abusive.

Ltb.

6 months? WTAF?

Do you have children? He'd do it to them too

Idblowjohnsnow

What does lTB stand for?

Bunbunbunny

I have a son with him and I'm currently pregnant

This is not "like any other couple", only the ones in abusive relationships too.

Are you ready to leave?

Because forcing children to live like this will destroy their futures.

My advice is to leave permanently and do the Freedom Programme course.

Www.freedomprogramme.co.uk

And probably get therapy too.

It means leave the b*stard.

And having kids with him is all the more reason to leave.
When have you ever heard an adult say 'I wish my mum had stayed with my abusive father for longer than she did' ? Never.

Get yourself and your kids out of there.
Speak with womens aid for practical advice on leaving.

I lived with a sulker, wouldn't talk to me for days.
I left him (it took a long time because I always thought he would get better, he didn't, it got worse).
Luckily we didn't have children together.

I am a changed person now I am free, couldn't be happier.

Just leave.

About an hour and that was a one off when I was seriously pissed off at an over reaction of his.

Your situation isn't normal. You either need counselling to develop a more healthy dynamic or you need to separate.

Good golly you’ve set the bar low, pregnant with someone you can’t or shouldn’t tolerate.
Honestly, DH and I have big fights and the longest period of no talking is measured in minutes.

I have left the bastard, I just feel really horrible that he is the father of my kids I mean what was I thinking 🤮

I was alone in my last pregnancy but I fell for his tricks and now I'm in the same situation and I hate him for that

Fallfallfall

And have I set the bar low exactly???