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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Beard. Loo spray. Dumped by text. What now?

474 replies

FeakAndMeeble · 03/01/2020 18:15

Dating new man. Seen him 3 times since Christmas Eve, all going well. Bit odd, but odd isn't a turn off for me, within reason.

I spent last night painting my kitchen and he offered to bring pizza. I let him in and we had a quick hug and I commented that he smelled nice. He got a bit defensive and said he'd had a meeting in the work canteen that day and his "beard seems to have absorbed chip smell". I don't remember what I said, something like "works for me", or something. He didn't smell of chips, to me; he just smelt nice.

I sorted plates etc. for the pizza and he went to my downstairs loo. When he emerged I caught a whiff of something floral and familiar but didn't really register it. Then we sit down together on the couch and I thank him for pizza, and sort of lean in for a kiss, and he leans in, and this awful sickly chemical flower smell goes inside my mouth and my nose and I feel like I'm gonna throw up. I don't remember what I said precisely but it wasn't great, something like "Jesus what the fuck is that", and we have this awful back and forth with me sort of gagging and telling him he smells of lavender and him going all red in the face and saying "what", and then he said "I just used your deodorant to get rid of the chip smell". Deodorant?

He'd gone into my loo, seen the Lidl W5 Lavender anti-poo-stink/air freshener spray gathering dust on the windowsill and SPRAYED IT INTO HIS BEARD.

It was awful. My whole mouth tasted of it and I'm sure his did too. I couldn't eat anything really because it all tasted of loo spray. He ate three slices of pizza faster than I've ever seen anyone eat and less than an hour after arriving said he had work tomorrow (today) so needed some sleep and left. I wasn't really sure how I felt beyond "he sprayed loo spray in his beard he sprayed loo spray in his beard wtf" but by this morning I'd actually told myself it was quite sweet and a funny story and maybe one day we'd tell our future mutual friends like "Haha remember that time you sprayed Lidl anti-poo stink in your beard lolol" but today I have received this text from him:

"It's been really nice getting to know you but in spirit with my new years resolution to disengage from negativity I'm afraid I cannot continue to see you. You seemed very judgemental last night when I made a lot of effort to visit you after a long and stressful day at work and I am not creating space for that this year with the people in my inner circle. Be well and I wish you happiness and peace in future endeavours".

I do not know whether to reply and apologise for the gagging (I couldn't help it!), reply with something witty and fabulous that essentially tells him to go fuck himself (what? What do I say?) or ignore and move on and find a man who doesn't spray loo spray into his beard.

What do I do?!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Strongmummy · 04/01/2020 05:46

Block and move on

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/01/2020 05:50

Block and move on

No need for a poo knife in this situation.

Honeybee85 · 04/01/2020 05:55

He sounds like an insecure and weird guy.
That text is pretentious AF and would have me gagging more then the Lidl spray! It’s a lucky escape OP but don’t be surprised if he comes crawling back (by text!) in a few weeks. If you don’t like that just block him.

IceBlock · 04/01/2020 08:03

I read this before I went to sleep last night and it infiltrated my bloody dream 😂😂

Sparklybaublefest · 04/01/2020 08:14

Well that was a Flash in the Pan

MakeItRain · 04/01/2020 08:23

I smell bullshit

@Patsypie You need some Lidl W5 Lavender anti poo-stink air freshener in your life. Grin

helpamummaout · 04/01/2020 08:24

@Mintypylonsfryingsurplus oh my lord I am dead !! 😂😂

KatherineJaneway · 04/01/2020 08:27

It is just as well your evening disintegrated. If he put air freshener on his beard, Christ only knows what he’d put on his pubes if he thought he was going to get jiggy...

Cillit BANG?

😂😂😂

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 04/01/2020 08:42

Never mind the air freshener thing; it's the text he sent that would put me right off him. I mean, no-one actually talks about negativity and inner circles unless they're being ironic...do they???

That text is a red flag all by itself.

Interestedwoman · 04/01/2020 09:33

@nex18 'you are Ray, oh no what a personal disaster'

My dad isn't that bad Grin

RedRec · 04/01/2020 10:35

You should also be on the other thread about getting the 'ick' (sudden and irreperable revulsion). You were sweet and kind to phone him but I, and many other posters here, I think, have got the 'ick' on your behalf!

FeakAndMeeble · 04/01/2020 10:50

I missed some salient questions yesterday. The pizza was Hawaiian and the kitchen a very boring shade of grey. I did eat the rest of the pizza for breakfast yesterday.

Not heard from him at all. Been on his Twitter and he posted a selfie this morning of him squinting into the sun that says "Thoughtful" across it. I think we are not meant to be.

OP posts:
Thinkingabout1t · 04/01/2020 10:54

Thanks for a lot of laughs on this thread, OP and the mumsnet punsnet team.

CheeseNOnionPasty · 04/01/2020 10:56

Thoughtful? Oh, he is the gift that keeps on giving! Grin

What was he thinking about, I wonder? The vague scent of lavender wafting from his beard, perhaps? I hope he got lots of likes from his inner circle!

usethedata · 04/01/2020 11:00

"Oh dear, I just re-read your text. You didn't spray it on your inner circle too?! It's definitely not meant for that! You should maybe see a doctor" followed by continued "misunderstanding" of his BS phrases if he replies.

Ruderidinghood · 04/01/2020 11:03

He sounds like he takes himself way too seriously. Either don't respond or just respond with "thanks" and that's it. There is no point in convincing someone or explaining yourself. Wither he gets you, gives you the benefit of the doubt or stops seeing you. Someone who decides to stop seeing you isnt worth it. In life there will always be misunderstandings and someone who.leavea at the first sign of that isnt worth it. X

Ruderidinghood · 04/01/2020 11:03

Who leaves**

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/01/2020 11:19

Thoughtful lol. He’s anything but thoughtful.

I think he means “pensive” or “in my thoughts”. In any case his status update would be better to say “pretentious”.

HopeItComesWithBatteries · 04/01/2020 11:24

Who’s he think he is, the Grand Poobah?

Loodicrous behaviour.

HopeItComesWithBatteries · 04/01/2020 11:26

Poobard even!

Middersweekly · 04/01/2020 11:29

This thread is hilarity!

He sounds like a bit of a humorless twat. He made a fool of himself and instead of holding his hands up and laughing about it he blamed you! You’re voice message was very kind, I would have probably gone with one of the other suggestions here! Grin

Hirsutefirs · 04/01/2020 11:35

If another woman made his beard originally smell so nice (to you), perhaps you should try to find her and do “pizza & chill” some night.

IncrediblySadToo · 04/01/2020 11:38

Apart from anything else - you tell him he smells nice and he dashed off to change the way he smells?! That’s weird & I wouldn’t want to date him.

Then the utter fuckwit sprays something onto his face & doesn’t even read what it is? Utter idiot & I wouldn’t date him. I don’t deal well with idiots.

Then he makes you choke on toilet spray and instead of seeing if you’re ok and going to wash the stench off & laughing about what an idiot he used - he ignores it and wolfs down pizza. Not someone I’d want to date.

Then he buggers off. home early... I’d be relieved at this point.

Then that text. What a lot of wankery. There’s no way I could even be friends with someone who spouted that kind of crap.

He’s the complete bellend -not you

I have NO idea why you left that voice mail.

I’m glad he’s not engaging with you, because I worry that if he did you’d end up married to this idiot & walking on eggshells ever more. Find you self esteem!!

Your WAY too nice for this chimp

ChippyPickledEggs · 04/01/2020 11:42

A "thoughtful" selfie whilst squinting up into the sun...

He's deep man.

FredaFrogspawn · 04/01/2020 11:44

I can’t bear that you asked this humourless arse-ache out again. I’m clearly too invested in MN!

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