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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Beard. Loo spray. Dumped by text. What now?

474 replies

FeakAndMeeble · 03/01/2020 18:15

Dating new man. Seen him 3 times since Christmas Eve, all going well. Bit odd, but odd isn't a turn off for me, within reason.

I spent last night painting my kitchen and he offered to bring pizza. I let him in and we had a quick hug and I commented that he smelled nice. He got a bit defensive and said he'd had a meeting in the work canteen that day and his "beard seems to have absorbed chip smell". I don't remember what I said, something like "works for me", or something. He didn't smell of chips, to me; he just smelt nice.

I sorted plates etc. for the pizza and he went to my downstairs loo. When he emerged I caught a whiff of something floral and familiar but didn't really register it. Then we sit down together on the couch and I thank him for pizza, and sort of lean in for a kiss, and he leans in, and this awful sickly chemical flower smell goes inside my mouth and my nose and I feel like I'm gonna throw up. I don't remember what I said precisely but it wasn't great, something like "Jesus what the fuck is that", and we have this awful back and forth with me sort of gagging and telling him he smells of lavender and him going all red in the face and saying "what", and then he said "I just used your deodorant to get rid of the chip smell". Deodorant?

He'd gone into my loo, seen the Lidl W5 Lavender anti-poo-stink/air freshener spray gathering dust on the windowsill and SPRAYED IT INTO HIS BEARD.

It was awful. My whole mouth tasted of it and I'm sure his did too. I couldn't eat anything really because it all tasted of loo spray. He ate three slices of pizza faster than I've ever seen anyone eat and less than an hour after arriving said he had work tomorrow (today) so needed some sleep and left. I wasn't really sure how I felt beyond "he sprayed loo spray in his beard he sprayed loo spray in his beard wtf" but by this morning I'd actually told myself it was quite sweet and a funny story and maybe one day we'd tell our future mutual friends like "Haha remember that time you sprayed Lidl anti-poo stink in your beard lolol" but today I have received this text from him:

"It's been really nice getting to know you but in spirit with my new years resolution to disengage from negativity I'm afraid I cannot continue to see you. You seemed very judgemental last night when I made a lot of effort to visit you after a long and stressful day at work and I am not creating space for that this year with the people in my inner circle. Be well and I wish you happiness and peace in future endeavours".

I do not know whether to reply and apologise for the gagging (I couldn't help it!), reply with something witty and fabulous that essentially tells him to go fuck himself (what? What do I say?) or ignore and move on and find a man who doesn't spray loo spray into his beard.

What do I do?!

OP posts:
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5
lovemenorca · 03/01/2020 18:30

He comes across as a lot nicer than you in this scenario

80sstyle · 03/01/2020 18:30

I half feel sorry for him.

ScrambledSmegs · 03/01/2020 18:30

Grin what a tit! For the text, not the accidental loo spray incident (which is hilarious but also quite sweet). He takes himself way too seriously, be glad you've found out sooner rather than later.

sonjadog · 03/01/2020 18:31

I think he is just revealed himself as a man without a sense of humour.

NataliaOsipova · 03/01/2020 18:32

Agree with Sexnotgender - pretentious is the word! Think you’ve had a lucky escape on that basis alone....

LuluBellaBlue · 03/01/2020 18:33

It kinda shows the man he is, if he can’t laugh at himself that’s a boring life!

PicsInRed · 03/01/2020 18:33

the people in my inner circle

Oooohoohoohoohoohooooooo 🤣🤣🤣

Christ he's a humourless, naval gazing twat, isn't he? Lucky escape, right bizarro misery guts that one.

HannaYeah · 03/01/2020 18:34

I’d write “Understood. Sorry for telling you that you smelled nice. Thanks for bringing the pizza!”

I’m sorry but I can stop laughing! This guy sounds like a twit!

BedraggledBlitz · 03/01/2020 18:34

Jesus imagine living with someone who gets defensive over being told they smell nice. Definitely a lucky escape.

I wouldn't dignify that twatty text with a reply.

MovingBriskyOn · 03/01/2020 18:34

I can feel his mortification, but that's a REALLY wanky message, and dumping someone by text is classless.

I'd be tempted by a pun...

No haired feelings, perhaps.
Or
Hair today, gone tomorrow

PicsInRed · 03/01/2020 18:34

And he has a beard

Quite.

Bluerussian · 03/01/2020 18:34

Just say you're sorry you over reacted and wish him well. Then move on. It's not worth worrying about.

It was funny :-).

ItWentInMyEye · 03/01/2020 18:35

I'd probably put '😂'

MrsGrindah · 03/01/2020 18:35

I think he was extremely embarrassed by his mistake, he thought he was doing something to cover up a smell he was uncomfortable with. Then he was probably mortified that he’d made you gag and that you were laughing at him. It’s obviously too soon in your relationship to feel completely comfortable with each other. Are you sure you weren’t a bit unkind? Anyway sounds like it’s come to an end at the right time

Andahelterskelterroundmylittle · 03/01/2020 18:36

"I am not creating space for that this year with the people in my inner circle." Wanker
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
A loo-cky escape OP
Tell him you hope he feels beardterGrin

Yetanotherwinter · 03/01/2020 18:36

Don’t respond and block him. Weirdo! Him not you.

instaments · 03/01/2020 18:37

Sad that he couldn't see the hilarity in this.

On a 4th date, I had the sudden onset of horrific 24hr bug at his place, where I stripped completely naked, all sweaty, bucket on lap, arse on toilet - in walks date (door was wide open, felt far too ill for dignity) holding lit incense, gently wafting with his hand telling me, "it's to make you feel less sick from the stench." I couldn't stop laughing between wretches and sharts. We're married now. Our favourite worst/best date story.

MitziK · 03/01/2020 18:37

Pompous twat.

To be accurate, pompous twat who smells of anti-turd spray.

I dread to think what his inner circle smells of. Limescale Remover?

FrancisCrawford · 03/01/2020 18:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FantasticButtocks · 03/01/2020 18:38

I think he took your initial compliment as an insult, thought you were being sarcastic... Maybe on the way to yours he'd already decided that his beard smelt of chips so when you said 'you smell nice' he thought you were referring to the chip smell so rushed off to deodorise his beard with air freshener. Then he felt like an idiot when his (by now) stinky beard made you choke on the fumes! He sounds far too precious though, unable to laugh at himself. I think anything long term with him would involve lots of walking on eggshells so you didn't inadvertently upset him. In other words it could be hard work! Better to find out now Grin

Whatsnewpussyhat · 03/01/2020 18:39

Grin😷

Why would he do that?! He could've just washed his face.
Clearly has no sense of humour.

NumbersStation · 03/01/2020 18:39

I can’t understand why he didn’t just wash his face.

I would have felt a tiny bit sorry for him but for his message. He may want to replace the negativity he is getting rid of with some sense of humour.

Isohungy · 03/01/2020 18:39

You sprayed loo spray onto your beard! If you can't laugh at your self then I have no room in my "inner circle" for you either you pretentious twat.

Seriously though... what a dick 🤣 bullet dodged.

zasknbg · 03/01/2020 18:39

His message is kind of “up himself”

He only needed to say: don’t think it’s working, best wishes for the future

But instead it’s a snowflake style tirade about negativity. I wouldn’t reply at all, I’d just block him.

NumbersStation · 03/01/2020 18:40

Bit of a cross post there @Whatsnewpussyhat Crown Grin