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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Beard. Loo spray. Dumped by text. What now?

474 replies

FeakAndMeeble · 03/01/2020 18:15

Dating new man. Seen him 3 times since Christmas Eve, all going well. Bit odd, but odd isn't a turn off for me, within reason.

I spent last night painting my kitchen and he offered to bring pizza. I let him in and we had a quick hug and I commented that he smelled nice. He got a bit defensive and said he'd had a meeting in the work canteen that day and his "beard seems to have absorbed chip smell". I don't remember what I said, something like "works for me", or something. He didn't smell of chips, to me; he just smelt nice.

I sorted plates etc. for the pizza and he went to my downstairs loo. When he emerged I caught a whiff of something floral and familiar but didn't really register it. Then we sit down together on the couch and I thank him for pizza, and sort of lean in for a kiss, and he leans in, and this awful sickly chemical flower smell goes inside my mouth and my nose and I feel like I'm gonna throw up. I don't remember what I said precisely but it wasn't great, something like "Jesus what the fuck is that", and we have this awful back and forth with me sort of gagging and telling him he smells of lavender and him going all red in the face and saying "what", and then he said "I just used your deodorant to get rid of the chip smell". Deodorant?

He'd gone into my loo, seen the Lidl W5 Lavender anti-poo-stink/air freshener spray gathering dust on the windowsill and SPRAYED IT INTO HIS BEARD.

It was awful. My whole mouth tasted of it and I'm sure his did too. I couldn't eat anything really because it all tasted of loo spray. He ate three slices of pizza faster than I've ever seen anyone eat and less than an hour after arriving said he had work tomorrow (today) so needed some sleep and left. I wasn't really sure how I felt beyond "he sprayed loo spray in his beard he sprayed loo spray in his beard wtf" but by this morning I'd actually told myself it was quite sweet and a funny story and maybe one day we'd tell our future mutual friends like "Haha remember that time you sprayed Lidl anti-poo stink in your beard lolol" but today I have received this text from him:

"It's been really nice getting to know you but in spirit with my new years resolution to disengage from negativity I'm afraid I cannot continue to see you. You seemed very judgemental last night when I made a lot of effort to visit you after a long and stressful day at work and I am not creating space for that this year with the people in my inner circle. Be well and I wish you happiness and peace in future endeavours".

I do not know whether to reply and apologise for the gagging (I couldn't help it!), reply with something witty and fabulous that essentially tells him to go fuck himself (what? What do I say?) or ignore and move on and find a man who doesn't spray loo spray into his beard.

What do I do?!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Sexnotgender · 03/01/2020 18:18

I’m sorry I’ve got no advice but that is quite funny.

His message is quite pretentious.

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 03/01/2020 18:19

Lucky escape there, I feel OP

👀

TurduckenFucken · 03/01/2020 18:19

It sounds like you made a massive issue of it, but he sounds odd. You’re probably best off without each other. I wouldn’t reply to his text.

Janaih · 03/01/2020 18:19

No idea but I love that you felt the need to specify the lidl brand W5. Grin

Janaih · 03/01/2020 18:20

Agree his message is wanky af. Probably best to ignore him.

Pinkflipflop85 · 03/01/2020 18:21

Sounds like a lucky escape! Shock

rosajosephine · 03/01/2020 18:21

That is really funny... sounds like he takes himself far too seriously

Chochito · 03/01/2020 18:21

I think you've dodged a bullet, OP.

I'm not witty so can't help you with an appropriate response to his pretentious message.

Haworthia · 03/01/2020 18:21

Think you dodged a bullet there.

fedup21 · 03/01/2020 18:22

I would reply saying, ‘I’m sorry if you felt I appeared negative. After commenting on how nice you smelt, you immediately took yourself off to my bathroom to spray a toilet air freshener into your beard! It seemed a bizarre thing to do when I had complimented you?!’

And then leave it. He sounds odd.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 03/01/2020 18:22

That's actually hilarious.

I guess he felt like you were being overly mean and was offended though. I'd apologise for upsetting him but acknowledge his decision and thank fuck you're escaping this early on Grin

Aquamarine1029 · 03/01/2020 18:23

"I've always had trouble keeping my mouth shut when a bloke sprays his beard with loo spray. I apologise. All the best to you!"

Spitchwick · 03/01/2020 18:24

Just reply "new fone who dis?"

BooFuckingHoo2 · 03/01/2020 18:25

That message is SO wanky and superior! Lucky escape OP!

DPotter · 03/01/2020 18:26

Go with Fedup21's suggestion

Ronnie27 · 03/01/2020 18:26

Just explain what happened from your perspective. He’s probably mortified and if he’s awkward like you say, doesn’t know how to handle it so is walking away out of embarrassment. Grin

FeakAndMeeble · 03/01/2020 18:26

No idea but I love that you felt the need to specify the lidl brand W5

But somehow that makes this worse! I don't even know why but it does. Glade would suggest at least some sophistication...

The thing is I feel bad for him because he did something daft on a date presumably because he was wanting to make a positive impression, and it went badly wrong. And that honestly just kind of made me like him more. Like last night between gagging I was actually laughing a lot, it was fucking funny in a wtaf way. But he was just so serious and pissed off that I sort of didn't know what to do with that; like, he wanted me to pretend we weren't both suffused in lavender loo stink?!

Agreed that the message he sent is really pretentious.

OP posts:
ohwheniknow · 03/01/2020 18:27

Aww you dented his ego. That twatty message is just him trying to feel powerful again.

I would just block him. Lucky escape.

APatchyTomCat · 03/01/2020 18:27

Text

“I’m bristling with indignation. Can’t stop, moustache”

QueenofPain · 03/01/2020 18:28

WTF, he sounds like he takes himself far too seriously.

plumpmom · 03/01/2020 18:28

I have a feeling I’m going to love this thread. Waiting for all the witty replies that you could send...my suggestion is this reply
“No worries. It is what it is but just to let you know, I checked the back of the bottle of LOO SPRAY you sprayed in your beard (it wasn’t deodorant) and there was no negativity listed in the ingredients. Take care and you might want to give your beard a bit of a wash”

GiveHerHellFromUs · 03/01/2020 18:28

Did he not even laugh when you pointed out it was loo spray? Like in an "omg I'm a muppet" kind of way?

APatchyTomCat · 03/01/2020 18:28

I mean, how d-hairy!

Somanysocks · 03/01/2020 18:29

Just text him this ❄

DickDewy · 03/01/2020 18:30

Oh God - lucky escape. His text shows you he's a pretentious wanker and he is of questionable intelligence if he mistook the spray for deodorant.

And he has a beard.