Dating new man. Seen him 3 times since Christmas Eve, all going well. Bit odd, but odd isn't a turn off for me, within reason.
I spent last night painting my kitchen and he offered to bring pizza. I let him in and we had a quick hug and I commented that he smelled nice. He got a bit defensive and said he'd had a meeting in the work canteen that day and his "beard seems to have absorbed chip smell". I don't remember what I said, something like "works for me", or something. He didn't smell of chips, to me; he just smelt nice.
I sorted plates etc. for the pizza and he went to my downstairs loo. When he emerged I caught a whiff of something floral and familiar but didn't really register it. Then we sit down together on the couch and I thank him for pizza, and sort of lean in for a kiss, and he leans in, and this awful sickly chemical flower smell goes inside my mouth and my nose and I feel like I'm gonna throw up. I don't remember what I said precisely but it wasn't great, something like "Jesus what the fuck is that", and we have this awful back and forth with me sort of gagging and telling him he smells of lavender and him going all red in the face and saying "what", and then he said "I just used your deodorant to get rid of the chip smell". Deodorant?
He'd gone into my loo, seen the Lidl W5 Lavender anti-poo-stink/air freshener spray gathering dust on the windowsill and SPRAYED IT INTO HIS BEARD.
It was awful. My whole mouth tasted of it and I'm sure his did too. I couldn't eat anything really because it all tasted of loo spray. He ate three slices of pizza faster than I've ever seen anyone eat and less than an hour after arriving said he had work tomorrow (today) so needed some sleep and left. I wasn't really sure how I felt beyond "he sprayed loo spray in his beard he sprayed loo spray in his beard wtf" but by this morning I'd actually told myself it was quite sweet and a funny story and maybe one day we'd tell our future mutual friends like "Haha remember that time you sprayed Lidl anti-poo stink in your beard lolol" but today I have received this text from him:
"It's been really nice getting to know you but in spirit with my new years resolution to disengage from negativity I'm afraid I cannot continue to see you. You seemed very judgemental last night when I made a lot of effort to visit you after a long and stressful day at work and I am not creating space for that this year with the people in my inner circle. Be well and I wish you happiness and peace in future endeavours".
I do not know whether to reply and apologise for the gagging (I couldn't help it!), reply with something witty and fabulous that essentially tells him to go fuck himself (what? What do I say?) or ignore and move on and find a man who doesn't spray loo spray into his beard.
What do I do?!