How often do you and your partner have sex? Help!

[Jojowash]

Hi guys

How often do you and partner have sex in a month ?

How long have you been together?

My partner seems to hound me permanently, makes me feel guilty and he’s moody until he gets it. He doesn’t actually even try to initiate it but will openly huff and puff in bed, tap his fingers and feet to let me know he’s irritated with that I haven’t had sex with him yet. It’s a proper put off and rude! We probably have sex every 3 days and move often when fertile. He’ll buy tight pvc outfits and remind me they are there, I’m not comfortable dressing up since I’ve put on 2 stone.

For example yesterday a pair of pvc sticking arrived in post, he said maybe you’ll just wear them if you don’t feel comfortable in the other things, when we went to bed, after about an hour of laying there with no intimacy or affection and as I was about to fall to sleep he says, don’t fancy putting on them stockings do you? I was like.. no

I mean I just feel pushed into it, I’m expected to cum otherwise he gets a complex but rolling over and landing on me isn’t a turn on.
I’m supposed to initiate it, want it, reveal in his manliness, worship his penis and have a huge orgasm all without warming me up and every day???
So now he’s just sulking and snappy like a small child. Is it just me!
Ps we’ve been together 5.5 years and been trying for baby 12 months having two miscarriages in the way 😞

Oh how much happier your life would be without him.

Don't have a baby with him. And definitely don't get pregnant if you think you want to leave him. That would be dishonest and store up all sorts of problems for the future.

I'm not surprised you don't want sex with him, he sounds clueless!
Dh and I sometimes have sex everyday, sometimes not for weeks. He never pesters me for it and wouldn't want to have sex with me unless I was 100% up for it, he just wouldn't enjoy it.
He also has a 'ladies first' approach to sex and is obsessed with making it pleasurable for me.
I'm astounded when friends think this makes him exceptional, women put up with appalling behaviour and need to raise their exceptions way way higher.

Mid forties, two kids, been together nearly 20 years.
We have sex whenever my DW wants to, which is twice a month on average, but can be more if we are away from the usual daily pressures of life. I would like it more often, but most of my chances are rejected.

nearly every day but we are a relatively new couple.

Why don’t you tell him the reason you don’t want sex is that he is crap at it!!

Why why why do women put up with men like this!!?? You don’t have to have sex! You don’t have to live like this! There are decent normal men out there! They are not all like this. This is vile and disgusting. Do you really want to live like this for the rest of your life!!!?

@Jojowash from personal experience this won’t change.
I’ve been with DH for 22 years married 16. 2 kids 13&9. I had a number of ladies issues at the start of our relationship and he respected sex was an issue. As time went on he couldn’t get why I still found Some positions difficult. Nor did I need 24/7 kisses and cuddles to feel loved. He needs constant contact and intimacy otherwise he is rejected.
We are now hanging on with finger nails. We have other issues but intimacy is a huge part. We were having it 2/3 pw but he wants more. Has been watching porn to get what I won’t give him which makes it worse as he wants even more than I was saying no to. I don’t know if he has gone searching to get more but has threatened to.
@JustASmallTownCurl has given me advice elsewhere. Please take it.
His needs will only ever get more demanding and if you’re not happy now please think very carefully before bringing someone else into the world. You will want sex even less then...will he cope with that? Many men struggle as they are no longer number one in your life. You know him best. Will he handle someone else taking priority over him at 11pm when the baby is hungry?

I’m not saying divorce the guy. Just speak with him. You need to be on the same page and understand that dynamics will greatly change when there is a baby added into it. If there can’t be a point where you’re both happy then you need to think carefully.

About 3-4 times a week. Never pressured into it though .

I don’t have (or want) a live in partner, l used to have one of those and it broke!

I very rarely have sex during the week, l get too tired with work. At weekends, 2, maybe 3 times, on my terms. That meets my needs and the revolving door means no pressure to change my ways.

He sees you as a hole to put his dick in 🤮 don’t tie yourself to this abuser by having a child with him! Leave and find someone who loves and respects you and doesn’t treat you like a toy for his nob.

I take it he is the only man you've slept with so you have no one to compare him with?
You don't know what is normal.
Well he isn't normal that's for sure.. He is a selfish egotistical excuse for a man and sounds as if he has no idea about how to make love with a woman
Get rid!!!

He sounds really fucking grim op. I really wouldnt bother trying to work on this 'relationship'.

Once a week on average, more if either of us feels like it but if the other one isn't interested that's not a problem.

He sounds awful!

Once or twice a week when we're both working, bit more on holiday.

We have mismatched libidos. I try to be mindful of DPs needs because he can get frustrated, though he doesn't sulk. He has a very high sex drive and would happily have sex more than once a day, every day. While I enjoy sex, I don't have "a sex drive" exactly. As in if we're apart and I don't have sex for a month or more I don't get frustrated or masturbate.

Communication is so important in these situations, I think your DP sounds like an arse

Mid-thirties, three kids, been together 16yrs. We average 3 times a week. I'd probably have more but my DH isn't as keen as I am so I just sort myself out🤷

This sounds like abuse. Please don't have a baby with this man.

If he is like this now, it will be worse when you have children.

Me and bloke used to have sex everyday, maybe more than once. Now with a 6 month old we are lucky if we have the energy once a week. We still make each other feel attractive with other gestures though, it's not all about sex.

He shouldn't abuse you like this. You are not there for his sexual gratification.

Oh OP I’m so glad you do actually know how messed up this relationship is

And I’d be amazed if everything is okay in the rest of your relationship also?

Fact is you will find couples who have sex several times a day or never and some who swing between the two but nobody should be having sex when they don’t want it, nor feeling pressured into having an orgasm purely to build the ego of their partner nor wearing sex clothes that make them uncomfortable.

This you describe isn’t how a healthy sexual relationship should be at all. Not one bit of it.

Having a baby at all costs is not a good idea for you or the baby.

If you are desperate for a child then find a donor or another way but conceiving and being in this horribly abusive relationship for any longer is only going to bring you misery.

Please read up about control and seek help to work on your self esteem.

You deserve so much more

Ew he's gross!
If he wants to play dress up so much and you're uncomfortable I'd suggest maybe he puts the stockings on!
So sorry OP.

I don't even have it every month. I honestly just cba sometimes.

Together 20 years, 2 kids, 40's.

3-4 times a week on average, sometimes most days, other times a week or two can go by depending on energy, health, stress etc.

We have different drives, but kind of meet in the middle, whilst remaining respectful if either of us is just not in the mood.

Never any pressure.

Over a year and I’d say between 1-5 times per week, it fluctuates.

Even when we are having a slow week (usually due to my tiredness!) he never pesters, if he knows I’m tired he won’t try it on.

I apologise if I haven’t felt like it lately and he reassured me it’s okay and that I don’t need to apologise. He would never make me feel like I have to, and when we do he always makes sure I’m turned on fully and spends time on me first.

His self Entitled badgering is not okay OP, it is far from okay

Been together nearly 23 years. It varies due to my health. At the moment my pelvis is causing a lot of pain and I'm having treatment so whenever I can manage. Other times, numerous times a week but aim for at least twice a week if we can.

With my wxH it was once a week or less. But I never really felt like it. I didn't want to have sex at all and when I had it with him I felt raped. He felt very insulted when I said this to him.

With my DH is completely different I can't wait to have sex and we have it 4-5 times sometimes even more. We have a very high sex drive and I've thought in physically in love with him.

I think you should.leave your DH.

Married 23 years, really happy together. Would do it several times a week but teens seriously cramp out style. We never seem to be home together when one of them isn’t here!

He needs those pvc stockings ramming up his arsehole.

For the love of God don't tie yourself to this twat with a child, what are you thinking??