How often do you and your partner have sex? Help!

[Jojowash]

Hi guys

How often do you and partner have sex in a month ?

How long have you been together?

My partner seems to hound me permanently, makes me feel guilty and he’s moody until he gets it. He doesn’t actually even try to initiate it but will openly huff and puff in bed, tap his fingers and feet to let me know he’s irritated with that I haven’t had sex with him yet. It’s a proper put off and rude! We probably have sex every 3 days and move often when fertile. He’ll buy tight pvc outfits and remind me they are there, I’m not comfortable dressing up since I’ve put on 2 stone.

For example yesterday a pair of pvc sticking arrived in post, he said maybe you’ll just wear them if you don’t feel comfortable in the other things, when we went to bed, after about an hour of laying there with no intimacy or affection and as I was about to fall to sleep he says, don’t fancy putting on them stockings do you? I was like.. no

I mean I just feel pushed into it, I’m expected to cum otherwise he gets a complex but rolling over and landing on me isn’t a turn on.
I’m supposed to initiate it, want it, reveal in his manliness, worship his penis and have a huge orgasm all without warming me up and every day???
So now he’s just sulking and snappy like a small child. Is it just me!
Ps we’ve been together 5.5 years and been trying for baby 12 months having two miscarriages in the way 😞

Sorry to hear about your miscarriages.
Your fella sounds ghastly. Are you sure this is the kind of person you want to have children with? If your approach to sex are so different, have you considered whether your approach to parenting would be the same?
Is he really the kind of person that you want to be having to deal with for the next however many years? This really doesn't sound like it's going to be a harmonious home life.

Haha sorry but his idea of turning you on is getting you to wear random pvc outfits, he sounds totally awful! He couldn't care less about your needs op just thinks you should perform some porno fantasy.

I had a husband like this, it's such a relief he's gone. We couldn't even go for a walk in the woods or a swim without him wanted sex. Got utterly fucked off with it in the end.
He ruined numerous holidays with his sulking because I'd want to go sightseeing but all he wanted was to have sex all day in the hotel......boooooring.
I can only imagine what a nightmare it would be coping with him and a new baby - yuck. LTB.

@Kneehighinshit

I am considering it fully. But now I have this complete yearning for another baby and my time is short. I'm 40. I don't frightened of my reaction to not having another one, that dead end, that future completely changed. I have kind of resounded to he'll either buck up or leave, I can do it on my own. That he's just have to do it, it's part of growing older and wiser, it's part of long term relationships.

Run for hills OP he's an abusive pig

@TheReef

So true to my ears.. it is respect. He is quite selfish.

&
@Dadslearning

Thank you. Sorry yours is the opposite to mine! Just a little give and take. I bit of respect for each other to make relationship work.

@dontgobaconmyheart

Good god. You just hit the nail on the head 😞

@Hepsibar

😂 Not enough room in bed, so they do a hand held variety?

Trying to reply, I respect all of your honest opinions I really do.. and I kind of know it already just need a little back up, when you're told you're twisted fairly often, that you've got it all wrong, that I imagined it, that I'm lying. Passive aggression and control very difficult when you're on the wrong end of it. Sometimes you just need to hear it from others because you've stopped believing in your own opinion.

Do you really want to have a baby with a man who pressures you to have sex when you don't want to until you give in?

If you have a son, that's his role model regarding how men treat women.

If you have a daughter, that's her blueprint for relationship dynamics when it comes to how men treat women.

You've had a terrible time and I'm so sorry for your losses, it's the cruellest experience.

I just beg you to think of the child you will be bringing in to a dysfunctional relationship. Whether you stay together as a couple or not, if you have a child with him both you and the child are tied to him for life.

It's absolutely not normal or acceptable for an adult to pressure you into sex, sulk as soon as you don't jump to it, expect you to be a blow up doll and also cum on demand when you do give in - with him fully knowing you didn't want to and he's pushed you into it.

What would you tell a daughter to do if she were you? X

Fuck me if he was my DH I'd happily never have sex ever again !

@JustASmallTownCurl

I would tell her to leave.

He sounds awful a sex pest and crap in bed I am not surprised you don’t want sex with him. Have you tried discussing this with him that if he changed he may get more sex

@jojowash

Oh my darling - please love yourself as much as you would love your daughter and take your own advice on this

If desperate for a child I’d go for a sperm donor alone and not with this fuckwit

Id be packing a bag now and leaving his sorry ass.

It’s called run and don’t look back.

We have sex around 5 times per week on average. Been together 4 years and in our 30s with no kids. If one of us is too tired then we’ll not pressure each other.

Oh dear, sounds horrible. I’ve been married 23 years and have periods of several times a week to this month-none as teens always around. If either of us wasn’t up for it, it wouldn’t happen. I’d be thinking carefully about having a baby with this person and the future with him.

I have a 19 year old DD and I am depressed at the thought that she could end up with someone like your DP!

He should not be making you feel like that.

I wouldn't be trying for a baby with him, you don't want the same things in the bedroom and different interest. Yes you may want to do all those things if he stopped pestering and it's definitely not on you, buy you are where you are, so leave now before you get pregnant.

2/3/4 times a week. Been together 4 years

Every other day (TTC)

Together 5 years

But I wouldn't touch him with a barge pole if he behaved like that. Such a turn off.

Together 8 years, normally once a week maybe twice. Got a young child so I'm often tired. Husband would probably like more but hes not a twat about it

Once or twice!a month? Sometimes less and sometimes more.

Together 6 years but people make us feel strange about it because we're only 25. We don't care - it works for us and we discuss it and if either has a problem try to address it.

We're both tired and we can't be arsed and it works for us because we both agree. Neither of us has huge sex drives but I do think DP would probably prefer we didn't have those months where we forget entirely.

I'd hate to feel pestered and he knows that. We are very very touchy feely other wise, always kissing and holding each other.

I can't imagine having to find the time and energy three times a week Jesus. But my best mate has a huge sex drive, she'd do it every night if possible and gets annoyed at her DP for rejecting her so I suppose it's all individual.

Mismatching drives are no fun. Luckily for me I can't 'just get it over with' because it literally just won't go in without extreme pain so I've had to be firm about my wants from the get go.

Your DP sounds gross though with the huffing and the lack of him initiating etc I'd have got the ick and left him tbh

Probably twice a week on average. We've been together 30 years, married 27 and we made a pact years ago that we should try to do it at least once a week so it didn't slip off the agenda when our DCs were young. We've pretty much kept to that apart from the immediate aftermath of childbirth and now we are in our 60s and still have a great sex life.

But I agree with those who say your DP sounds horrible, I cannot understand why anyone would want their partner to dress up like a doll in "sexy" things they didn't want to wear - that is humiliating and bordering on abuse. If he wants to encourage you to have more sex he needs to make sure you enjoy it and find it mutually pleasurable and if he is not capable of doing that then your sex life will wither and eventually die and your relationship will probably go with it.