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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Worried friend is being catfished

84 replies

Catfishconcern · 31/12/2019 10:46

Is it possible for someone to send a DM to you on Instagram that looks like it comes from a celebrity account?
I am worried about a friend who follows a celebrity on Instagram. He sent her a DM, she was thrilled, and they’ve been messaging back and forth ever since, since around October. Their relationship has become very close, they share intimate details and have discussed the future - to the point where she believes they’ll be together. She is trying to arrange to meet him through his management team at the moment so we’ll see what happens with that. He is going along with it saying he’s also very keen to meet.
I hope it’s all real for her sake as she has really fallen for him. He has sent her messages about his love for her etc. She is in her early 60s, he is mid 40s and very famous and fanciable. It just seems too good to be true.
However she is convinced it’s him because she was following his verified real Instagram account and she got a DM from that account.
I’m so worried about her.

OP posts:
Original poster
Catfishconcern · 31/12/2019 13:22

I’m not bringing them into it ! They’re already involved! They all know! They’re all worried!
I’m not the best person to talk to her! Her daughter is!
I have already said someone will talk to her.
Yes she’s a grown woman - She’s also been hurt enough and I care about her a lot. She 100% believes it’s real and I want it handled sensitively as does her daughter.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 31/12/2019 13:23

You're starting to sound like a bunch of drama llamas now.

"Karen, have you video called him yet? If not you really should as you can't be too careful".

"Digestive or shortbread with your tea?"

Original poster
Catfishconcern · 31/12/2019 13:23

Not remotely humiliating her as these people I am talking about ALL KNOW already and are all as worried as I am.
Her being humiliated is exactly what I don’t want to happen.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 31/12/2019 13:25

So you've all be yakking behind her back and not a single one of you has simply suggested a video call?

TheReluctantCountess · 31/12/2019 13:31

Can you just get her phone and video call him?

DarklyDreamingDexter · 31/12/2019 14:36

Of course it’s a scam. There’s a current episode of the BBc’s ‘Love or Money’ on this exact scenario. (A kind of UK version of Catfish). A middle aged British woman followed a US celebrity’s Instagram and started getting direct messages from him professing love. Then, of course, she started getting requests for money because he was filming abroad and ran into some financial problems and only she could help apparently. She transferred about £10k to where he was ‘filming’ in Turkey I believe. Absolute scam. Have a look for it on BBC iPlayer or catch up TV. I think it’s episode 4 or 5, I only saw it the other day. Please show your friend.

GrannyBags · 31/12/2019 14:37

Does your friend have some additional needs you haven’t mentioned? If this were one of my friends I would have already spoken to her - not ‘dealt with’ it but just had a normal conversation

tribpot · 31/12/2019 14:45

I think it is the latest episode, Dexter

Lllot5 · 31/12/2019 14:54

Who’s the celebrity?
Is he on Twitter?
There must be some way to contact him or his management.
Just gotta tell her it’s most likely a scam. I’d be surprised if she doesn’t already suspect herself, otherwise she’d want to meet him, speak in the phone, or video call him.

FestiveFavourites · 31/12/2019 14:55

This is almost certainly a scam. She's probably aware that the person she is exchanging messages with isn't the celebrity himself, but she's enjoying the pretence that she's close to a famous person. She doesn't want anyone to burst her bubble and confirm what she already knows. It won't be long before the money requests start - maybe that will be enough for her to stop.

You need to have a conversation about romance scams and how they operate. It might not even be one person she is messaging. Sometimes teams of people do this, to keep the momentum going.

Alternatively you could contact his management team but they may be unwilling to get involved.

bruffin · 31/12/2019 17:33

this is Rich Dollarz Catfish episode

TirannahRex · 31/12/2019 18:08

If I was her friend I’d say

  1. Be careful where you meet ie in public.
  1. Don’t under any circumstances give him any money!!!!

Is she open to that advice? If she follows that, the least harm I guess. Or is she completely deluded and dragging others into it Confused. Or just going along with it in full suspect knowledge, but for her own ego?

Do get back to us and tell us how it all panned out.

TirannahRex · 31/12/2019 18:11

they share intimate details and have discussed the future

what intimate details, 😳? sounds weird, people who’ve never met. Is your friend comps mentis?

doritosdip · 31/12/2019 18:27

I hope it doesn't mean naked selfies of herself

JustASmallTownCurl · 31/12/2019 18:41

Can she click through from his name in the original Instagram DMs to his blue tick account? Does it have a blue tick?

Also I've had a fling before with a relatively famous person and they don't get management to arrange dates! If they're texting and calling and 'close' then he would arrange to meet her himself. The management thing is a stalling technique.

And same here - as a PP said above.

Also she really should put the number into the search bar on Facebook. I think that accounts registered to that number will show in the results so it's worth a shot.

Indie139 · 31/12/2019 18:50

Usually accounts for famous people arent actually run by them. Its normally as assistant/someone from their team who responds to messages etc. It happened on the tv show catfish once where this exact thing happened, turns out it was the assistant who was the one messaging and the celeb had no idea what was going on. Unless they are friends on whatsapp, or have video or voice called..id be veryyy wary

litterbird · 31/12/2019 19:03

Oh blimey, this happened to a friend of mine and was so embarrassed about it she told me a long time after it happened and minus several thousand pounds. My friend was in her early 60s too, in a bad emotional place of loneliness and thought she was talking to a famous footballer. You seem like a good friend to try and guide her and support her. She maybe already under the spell so you just need to be there for her, impart your worries and then you will have to let her go to see what happens. My friend said that she totally believed she was talking to this famous footballer, she also said no one would have been able to make her see sense as she was so hooked in and it gave her relief from her loneliness. She finally came to her senses after repeatedly asking to talk on the phone or facetime or meet and nothing came about. It was all through messaging. Just be there for her and support her when she realises she is being catfished. Poor lady.

MsPepperPotts · 31/12/2019 19:04

Just the fact they have never FaceTime'd or spoke on the phone is just totally unbelievable

Cherrygirl3 · 31/12/2019 20:20

Can you get the phone number and put it into "Who called me"? It may have been flagged as a suspect number if whoever it is has done this sort of thing before.

Bouledeneige · 31/12/2019 20:38

Hacked account.

doritosdip · 31/12/2019 21:49

Men are also very keen to video call or meet after a while because they worry about being catfished too. Her pics could be photoshopped, filtered, from a long time ago or of an attractive real or online person.

On the programme Catfish they google any phone numbers, image search any pics received and analyse their online interactions to work out who they are closest to and whether what they have told you correlates to reality. Were they in London last week? Do they have a sister called Sarah and an
Assistant called Jason? And so on

It's sad that none of her friends have spoken to her sooner. The longer it goes on, the more humiliated she will feel when it probably goes wrong

doritosdip · 31/12/2019 21:52

I've suddenly remembered the Catfish episode where they proved that the guy wasn't talking to Katy Perry. Despite him meeting the girl who was pretending to be her, he emailed "Katy" afterwards refusing to believe that he'd been scammed.

Pieceofpurplesky · 31/12/2019 22:12

Dorito I remember that - he was very odd in how he reacted to it all

Joeler · 31/12/2019 22:32

It's called the Imposter scam.Richard Branson was on the radio last year warning people his name was being used to extort money out of people. One lady had been strung along for 2 years before any requests for cash had been made.When the request did come it was for a huge amount and she fell for it.

BSintolerant · 01/01/2020 09:23

It’s easy enough to catfish someone. The murder victim in this case thought she was going on a date with a rapper who she’d met via a verified snapchat account.

www.buzzfeednews.com/article/josephbernstein/tomi-masters-down-the-rabbit-hole-i-go

The guy who actually turned up to the date was a hacker who claimed to run the rapper’s snapchat account. It’s thought by some that he may have bought an official account so he could pass himself off as the rapper.

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