My FWB is amazing in bed and I'm feeling anxious

[ArabellaJane]

Strange post I know but I'm mid 40s, never had an orgasm before with a partner, then met my FWB and he is amazing in bed. But I suddenly feel quite exposed/weak, like someone knows what actually makes me tick. I've always been reserved and private and restrained. Why am I feeling so exposed now? Do I break things off now?

Erm.... no! You make the most of it and ENJOY!

I should add my precious partner was abusive

previous partner

How did you meet your FWB?

Go girl enjoy yourself life is short feel free to have a lovely time and make up for all the time lost with your abusive ex

Enjoy! Enjoy this new experience of being uninhibited, and totally giving into pleasure!

We had been friends for about 6 months then it progressed into something physical. Initially I thought would just be a kiss etc but kept getting more and more physical but I trusted him a lot, which I'd never felt before.

I guess you’re nervous as you are wondering what the catch is or when he will turn into a monster.

Understandable given the past.

I’m so jealous! Enjoy every moment.

Well... are you anxious because you have feelings for him and aren't sure that they're reciprocated?

Enjoy yourself OP!
It's great you're finding how amazing sex can be with somebody you know and trust.
After being in an abusive relationship you deserve to be happy. It all sounds great, so put aside these ideas of ending it, and take it for what it is.
All the best x

Is he making you feel inadequate? If yes, dump him. If no, enjoy!

@firesong no it's definitely FWB but we only see each other. I just feel exposed that someone knows how to turn me on, something even I didn't know before. I always thought it would be a life partner who could do this but seems strange it's a FWB and makes me anxious

@Chocmallows no, if anything he thinks I'm great and loves the challenge because I was so clueless about sex. But it's uncharted territory for me and I feel like running away from things as so intimate.

Ooh you lucky thing. Relax and enjoy

I should add I suffer a bit generally with anxiety

I have slightly different situation but I think it comes from the same place. I’ve been separated for 6 months and about a month ago met a man online. My ex h made me feel like I was very unattractive and crap in bed. The new man is attentive and makes me feel amazing. But I do have these wobbles like is this for real can he actually want me like that and want to do those things with and to me. He obviously does as he keeps doing it and i don’t have doubts when I’m with him. I think what I’m trying to say it self doubt is pretty common and you’ve just got to embrace what is actually happening. I do get paranoid if he doesn’t text back but in person everything is fine

Does he already have a partner/wife? If so, back off - back right off. You’ll likely end up hurt and in a messy situation. If not, fill your boots and enjoy yourself.

You deserve to enjoy this. Embrace it. Sounds fantastic!!!!

What’s a FWB ?

It’s ok I just worked it out

Friend With Benefits. Good sex good times good company.

The problem with these 'relationships' is developing feelings beyond what it is - which is basically a friendly booty-call.

Wondering what he thinks/feels or doubting yourself or ruminating on this/him when he's not around = hoping for a deeper connection/relationship. & the risk of being hurt if that's not forthcoming.

They're fun and a good diversion if you can manage to stay level-headed

Lucky lady😊😊

Do you think it is because you equate him being good in bed with meaning he probably has lots of experience/is a bit of a player OP?

Tbh the 'enjoying the challenge' and enjoying your inexperience sentiments would be a huge turn off for me. Some men love being the one taking women in hand don't they and showing them theh know better than them about womens bodies (vom)

If he treats you well and none of that is an issue just enjoy it but ultimately if it's making you emotionally uncomfortable maybe you just aren't ready? Maybe you need to take some time, look into therapy to discuss it, do what needs to be done. FWB can mess with your head, lots of men are good in bed - there'll be others. Most of it is down to communication and finding someone who's legitimately interested in your pleasure.

I think you're feeling exposed because it's sooo intimate and like you said, you equate that with a different type of relationship so it doesn't quite fit.

My advice is to rest on the security of the fact that you're not required to put all your eggs in one basket here like in a committed, monogamous relationship, because it's FWB, and just go where your body takes you.