Is he into me, I'm clueless?

[Winterwonderland10]

Went on a works due beginning of December and spoke to a guy who works for my company. He's been there about a year and we haven't really spoken before. We got on really well, I was struggling to walk as my feet hurt and he was sweet offered his arm. I added him on social media and he rang me via it to make sure I got home ok. We spoke for a good hour! Chatting and laughing. We have messaged on and off since. Spoke a bit at work. I didn't think much of it. I do like him but didn't want to think anything of it as my last experiences of guys haven't been great eg abusive. Finished work for a week so haven't spoke to him and received a Christmas message out of the blue. Saying he hopes I have a great day and he will see me in the new year.

I'm pretty clueless weather people are into me or not or it's more friendly. A friend of mine thinks he likes me but I don't know. I don't want to be open to more if it isn't mutual. Would you say he likes me?

probably but not definitely.

No rush - don't go mad on opening up - just go slow. There is no rush

I'm in no rush, quite happy on my own atm so no rush into something with someone.

Basically, the way to know if someone is in to you AND is in a position to make that happen (one is no good without the other) is either:

1. Ask them out - politely, enthusiastically and unambiguously. "I really enjoy your company, and would love to ask you out on a date. Is that something you'd like?". Make sure you make it clear it's a date - there is no shame in one adult asking another out, so try to rid yourself of the teenage feeling of "Oh my god, but what if he said no, I'D DIE OF EMBARRASSMENT AND NEVER BE ABLE TO LEAVE THE HOUSE". You won't die of embarrassment, everything will be fine and you'll have acted like a grown up.

2. Wait for him to ask you out. Lots of people prefer this because of the aforementioned fear of rejection, but if you go for this one, you have to accept that you are being passive and may never get the answer you want. It's your call.

What you really, really shouldn't do is spend hours of your life you'll never get back exhaustively wondering "does he like me??" analysing stupid shit like text messages and ambiguous phrases, and trying to divine his romantic interest through signs and signals, like some medieval soothsayer.

Look, you're a grown up. Do you want him to be attracted to you?

finewords yes I would like him to be attracted to me as I do like him. In the past few years the men I have asked out myself haven't been that into me. So I'm going to wait for him to say something to me. I'm useless at love. Just call me Bridget Jones 😂

I'm useless at love. Just call me Bridget Jones

Jeez.

winterwonderland don't change anything you're doing . You're chilled out, cool and relaxed and that's the perfect way to be regardless of the outcome. Personally I think he likes you, but whether or not he'll act on it is one of the mysteries of the male species.

finewords Yea I know!

@homealone39 I'll just carry on being myself I guess. Who knows if he will, I'll guess I'll find out

It sounds like he's interested. Can't think of many people who would message at christamas someone they don't know very well unless they were interested.

The messaging alone isn’t clear enough when you return to work does he hold eye contact a lot, does he touch your arm or lean in when speaking to you. Does his manner with you differ from any other colleague, doe she go out of his way to help you etc... see how it goes on your return..does his mirror your body language, smile a lot and preen himself before you... just some signs he likes you...in a romantic way

"Ask them out - politely, enthusiastically and unambiguously. "I really enjoy your company, and would love to ask you out on a date. Is that something you'd like?"."

I think that would put him in a very uncomfortable position. What is he going to say if he doesn't want to? As men aren't asked out as often, they quite often don't want to reject women. Wouldn't it be better to ask about a specific evening so that if he doesn't want to, he can say he's busy that evening and not offer an alternative?

I think it sounds like he likes you .
Flirt a little and have fun. Don't take it too seriously then if it goes nowhere you haven't got hurt or spent too long thinking about him.
Always work on the assumption that anyone you like likes you back too. Why wouldn't they

Of course he likes you!

FFS. It's obvious.

Text him back ASAP

@musti that's what I thought. I only messaged my friends on Christmas so was a nice surprise to here from him.

@jinglebella123 i dont really work directly with him or sit near him often.

gwen yes agree. I've tried the asking guys out before and think they feel they have to say yes. If I asked him he would say yes regardless as hes so polite. Think I'd rather wait for him to ask.

Thanks cuddling
happiness I did message back. Just basically echoed what he said to me. Merry Christmas have a great day see you in the new year

*to hear

Enjoy the feeling of blossoming romance. It's exquisite in its delight and equal measures of pain. Love it.

As a bloke, I’d say yes. Blokes rarely message someone or spend an hour chatting unless they are interested. Well I don’t anyway

@Gwenhwyfar how about, "I'm flattered, but I don't think of you in that way/I'm not in a position to date right now/I'm in a relationship"? But I do agree that asking him to do a specific thing and making it clear that it's a date is a good idea.

Agree with @Zzzz19 - blokes don't do this stuff unless they are interested in more.

Ask him out. We're here for a good time not a long time.

Yea it was the Christmas text that made me think oh yea he might be into me too. Where do I go from here now? Carry on how i am?

Just text him asking him for a drink. He'll say yes or no, either way you'll have your answer

@grobagsforever whenever I've done this in the past though it hasn't gone well. Might wait for him to text me

You don't have to ask him out but maybe initiate a text in a couple of days times.
Maybe a funny picture of something or a joke with you saying this reminded me of you .
Just keep it fun, even if a date doesn't happen maybe you've made a nice new friend

Yea think I'll try that, thanks

Well I messaged him about a little joke at work hoping it would strike up a conversation. His reply was fine but didn't initiate conversation. So I'm a bit confused

He's obviously interested, but so are you. He has had plenty of opportunity to ask you out for a drink, and knows you would say yes, but he hasn't. I couldn't be bothered with a man who wants to fuck about with sporadic small talk messages until he decides to grant you the pleasure of his company in person for a couple of hours.