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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is he into me, I'm clueless?

42 replies

Winterwonderland10 · 26/12/2019 20:21

Went on a works due beginning of December and spoke to a guy who works for my company. He's been there about a year and we haven't really spoken before. We got on really well, I was struggling to walk as my feet hurt and he was sweet offered his arm. I added him on social media and he rang me via it to make sure I got home ok. We spoke for a good hour! Chatting and laughing. We have messaged on and off since. Spoke a bit at work. I didn't think much of it. I do like him but didn't want to think anything of it as my last experiences of guys haven't been great eg abusive. Finished work for a week so haven't spoke to him and received a Christmas message out of the blue. Saying he hopes I have a great day and he will see me in the new year.

I'm pretty clueless weather people are into me or not or it's more friendly. A friend of mine thinks he likes me but I don't know. I don't want to be open to more if it isn't mutual. Would you say he likes me?

OP posts:
Winterwonderland10 · 28/12/2019 20:40

Yea I thought oh yea he's interested by his Christmas text and then tonight doesn't seem that interested. Confused! He does come across a bit shy so May be he doesn't dare? I don't know, not into games

OP posts:
Lifeisabeach09 · 28/12/2019 21:48

The cynic in me thinks that he was probably bored and at a loose end Christmas Day, which is why he sent the message.

Clearly, he is not bored today.

Leave him to it, remain chill, engage with other men and see how it goes.

Winterwonderland10 · 29/12/2019 06:38

@lifeisabeach09 yes I agree. Oh well guess I'll carry on life as normal. I am happy but sometimes it does get lonely being single.

OP posts:
Mmer · 29/12/2019 06:46

He is probably interested. Guys don't usually message and phone you if they aren't interested.

WatchingTheMoon · 29/12/2019 06:46

Just ask him out. I have always made it perfectly obvious if I'm into a man. Sometimes it's worked out, sometimes it hasn't but at least I haven't wasted my time.

You say you don't like games, but that's exactly what you're doing. If a guy doesn't like you because you make the first move, he's not the guy for you.

Happinessinapeartree · 31/12/2019 01:40

Has he made contact again?

I was so sure he liked you. I mean, who takes time out to text like that?

Very odd. He didn't come across like a player.

LellyMcKelly · 31/12/2019 05:04

I wouldn’t put it as explicitly as FineWordsforaPorcupine but she has the right idea. There’s no point in mooning about for weeks. You may find that he’s really boring on a date so there’s no point wasting time wondering. There is no harm in texting something like ‘Happy New Year! I’m heading into town tomorrow to do some shopping. Do you fancy meeting up for a coffee or a drink at about 2pm?’

Winterwonderland10 · 31/12/2019 19:02

happiness no haven't heard nothing from him! He isn't a player type. He's humble and polite can be shy and quiet. Definitely doesn't come across as full of himself.

Yea could ask him for coffee would have to be the weekend as I have my DS until then

OP posts:
Happinessinapeartree · 11/01/2020 02:21

Take it you're back at work now. Any catch ups with him or has the energy fizzled out?

RantyAnty · 11/01/2020 02:37

He's not interested. He called you once to see if you got home. He sent a generic Xmas message.

Winterwonderland10 · 11/01/2020 07:16

No heard nothing from him. No talks at work either so I can't be bothered with that and not wasting my energy there

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Happinessinapeartree · 11/01/2020 10:27

Yes, wise decision to cut it now. His loss.

Whathewhatnow · 11/01/2020 10:44

Hold up! Maybe he is not getting the signals from you to give him a green light.

Just ask him out FFS Grin. Nothing to lose.

Why would you send a Christmas message to someone you're not either into or really good friends with. Look back over your other xmas messages. How many are from casual acquaintances ?!

Winterwonderland10 · 11/01/2020 14:13

@whathewantnow yes but when I sent him a new year message he didn't start conversation and I sent him a message about a type of joke thing at work but still nothing from him to initiate a conversation

OP posts:
Happinessinapeartree · 11/01/2020 16:35

Yeah, it's done. Don't chase it.

Whathewhatnow · 11/01/2020 20:18

I'd still give it another go.
I get that he didn't do what people are supposed to do when they are mad keen. But... people are complicated. They have lives and issues and stuff to manage.

If you were to pursue him though, I'd be completely upfront about it. I.e., want to go out on a date? Some people need really, really direct comms. They really do.

sonjadog · 11/01/2020 21:42

I wouldn't chase it. If you meet him again, have a chat and see what happens then. But don't waste time thinking about it in the meantime.

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