Inlaws are quite wealthy and always give DH and I separate cards with sums of money inside at Christmas. Although the gift is always very generous in my world, DH receives significantly more than myself.
I find this a little insulting as my family are extremely traditional and treat us as equal partners, always giving joint financial gifts, albeit much smaller. I don't feel ILs see us as an equal partnership. We also have children together and have been together for 10 years.
They are staying with us over Christmas and yesterday morning, FIL asked DH for his bank details to transfer thousands of pounds to his account for Christmas (much more than usual) . DH has told me and assures me it's a gift for us both. I think DH is naive as nothing about the money has been mentioned to me at all by ILs. If the sum is for both of us, I need to say thank you, but I don't know if it is so not sure what to say.
Do I thank them when I am not convinced the cash is intended for us both? DH has transferred it to his own account before he transfers it to the joint one which makes me question how much DH is intending on keeping for himself anyway.
The whole family seem so guarded when it comes to money, including DH, I feel very uncomfortable about it and largely like an outside threat.