Living with an alcoholic - I've had enough 😬

[guildingthelily]

We are staying with my parents for Christmas. We have 2 DC aged 7 and 9. My husband treats all holidays as a reason to get pissed every night. Don't get me wrong I join in with a few glasses at dinner time, so I am no Saint but I don't actually get drunk every single night. Sharing a bed with him is impossible - he snores, talks in his sleep, rolls around, flailing arms and legs plus random trips to the toilet throughout the night. My parents already know he has a problem and keep quiet as last time they said something about his addiction, he ignored it completely.

It's embarrassing quite frankly. He avoids doing kids bedtime as as soon as it hits 5pm he starts drinking. Then he pours himself glass after glass of beer or wine. If we go to the pub to see friends hell have about 5 pints then carries on when we get back by himself for a few more hours.

Tomorrow is Christmas day and Im worried what state he will get in, as I know hell start drinking at noon (at the latest).

Hand hold please :)

I’m sorry you are going through this op.
You will get help and support at al Anon.

I left my alcoholic ex last year. Apparently it was my fault he drank due to our unhappy marriage - never mind the fact I had tried to walk away many times and be begged forgiveness will not drink again!

He met a new girlfriend and apparently did not need to drink as all is his life was so happy they were meant to be she understood him etc etc. Guess what they have split he is still drinking on and off!

Honestly the kids didn't notice.....

That’s such an insult and disservice to your DC. They didn’t notice that their Dad physically and emotionally abandoned them on Xmas day and all of the other adults were preoccupied tap dancing around the alcoholics behaviour by hiding him, fretting and trying to distract the DCs? They want their Dad to have a RS with them - he doesn’t - they are being emotionally neglected. Their needs are being minimised whilst the adults prioritise and are complicit with the secrets and lies to keep the alcoholic dance going.

Your colleagues know what your husband is and would have more respect for you and be able to support you and your children if you were open. I hope that you take the time to do some research on the impact of alcoholics on children so that you can get your head out of the sand and stop the emotional injury of your DCs.

@guildingthelily I get that, tricky situation, you have to know you have it all worked out before you make it public and take action.

But getting there in your head first is the biggest challenge! It's not passive to be making that adjustment in your head first.

, update ??