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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

not paranoid

42 replies

VirginRiver · 23/12/2019 17:54

please do not say I am paranoid
is it possible to spy on someone by giving them a smart tv? am my boyfriend wants me to have his smart tv cos he says its better than the one I have and give him mine, do a swap? is that weird?

also, he got me a sim for my phone and now I swear he always seems to now where I am

my internet deal is about to expire and he says he can shop around for me and get a better deal. Is that strange or not? Can someone check what youre doing on your laptop that way?

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Bunnybaubles · 23/12/2019 18:27

Is he normally a possessive jealous person? If he isnt then it's most likely he's just being nice and trying to help.

If he is then maybe you need to think whether the relationship is worth it. You are asking if it's likely he could be spying on you!

I've been in a long term relationship with someone controlling, paranoid and jealous and the effect it has on you stays long after the relationship is over.

Or are you thinking this because you have previously been in a controlling relationship?

Bunnybaubles · 23/12/2019 18:32

I'm not sure about the tv but someone could download spyware on a sim and it wouldn't be visible to you. As for an internet contract, probably not if he is just sourcing a deal which you yourself would be setting up, crediting the account and passwords etc. I do know that someone who has your internet password can set something up to see what devices are connected. My DB has that set up so he knows if the DC are sneaking on their phones after bed time. He can even remotely cut internet access to specific devices so who knows what else can be done.

Bunnybaubles · 23/12/2019 18:32

*creating not crediting

VirginRiver · 23/12/2019 18:34

known him for 6 weeks, haven't had a controlling relationship before but I know about that sort of shit from a woman I work with. I opened the sim myself.

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category12 · 23/12/2019 18:35

If you google it, apparently yes, your smart tv can be used to spy on you.

If you think he's doing this, you really need to dump his arse, stat.

VirginRiver · 23/12/2019 18:35

he is offering to set up the internet contract and paying for it. We dont live at the same address so im guessing he would get the bills and may be know numbers I have dialled or texted?

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VirginRiver · 23/12/2019 18:36

when it says spy does that mean listen or watch and how?

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category12 · 23/12/2019 18:36

6 weeks is really quick to be swapping tvs and sorting out your tech for you.

category12 · 23/12/2019 18:37

You can google it as well as I can.

Wildorchidz · 23/12/2019 18:38

Tell him thanks but no thanks.
And give a lot of thought as to whether you want to be with him.

VirginRiver · 23/12/2019 18:38

I keep having suspciouns and then think I feel ashamed of myself

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category12 · 23/12/2019 18:39

Sorry, that came out snottier than I intended - it had never occurred to me before that a smart tv could spy, I have to say.

heartyrebel · 23/12/2019 18:40

6 weeks is way too soon for any of that stuff, so regardless of his intentions tell him no.

Pinkbonbon · 23/12/2019 18:40

Wtf would you let someone you have just started seeing get you a phone sim and contract your phone n internet?

It is creepy that he is asking to do that so of course your gut is screaming at you!

Pay for your own shit. Buy your own shit. And listen to your instincts ffs.

category12 · 23/12/2019 18:41

But if you're picking up red flags, you shouldn't be ashamed of it - if something doesn't feel right, pay attention.

It's bloody weird for a boyfriend of 6 weeks to be offering a telly swap.

VirginRiver · 23/12/2019 18:42

@category12 I had googled it but what I read didn't answer my question and a lot of it was from US. I had just seen on a programme - was it Marcella that she put blue tack over the light on her lap stop screen and then remembered that when he wanted me to have his smart TV

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heartyrebel · 23/12/2019 18:42

If he sets up your internet he has access to your password. He will then be able to control your tv etc. This is not a good idea regardless.

category12 · 23/12/2019 18:43

And bloody weird for a boyfriend of 6 weeks to take on an internet contract for you. Hmm

knewyouwerewaiting · 23/12/2019 18:43

You’re not considering it are you? Just tell him no thanks.

category12 · 23/12/2019 18:44

Why would it make a difference if it was the US? The technology is the same.

knewyouwerewaiting · 23/12/2019 18:47

Why would he pay for your internet?

MarianaMoatedGrange · 23/12/2019 18:49

This is all weird. 6 weeks and he's taking over all your tech? Noooooooo

category12 · 23/12/2019 18:49

Are you a sugarbaby or something?

VirginRiver · 23/12/2019 19:03

Deffo not a sugar baby @category12! we work at the same place but he works in the IT. The phone sim was for Christmas and yes I thought it bit off. I haven't agreed to any of the other stuff and thats why I put it on here! The internet password thing has freaked me out as he said he would come and set it up for me.

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VirginRiver · 23/12/2019 19:10

messages from you all received and understood, thanks

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