not paranoid

[VirginRiver]

please do not say I am paranoid
is it possible to spy on someone by giving them a smart tv? am my boyfriend wants me to have his smart tv cos he says its better than the one I have and give him mine, do a swap? is that weird?

also, he got me a sim for my phone and now I swear he always seems to now where I am

my internet deal is about to expire and he says he can shop around for me and get a better deal. Is that strange or not? Can someone check what youre doing on your laptop that way?

Trust your gut.

Did he install the sim in your phone? Did he pair it with his or turn on something that let's him see your phone with his? I'd be tempted to factory reset the phone just in case

I'm not at all techy so wouldn't know what the fuck was going on, but resetting to factory settings sounds like a good idea.

Ewwwwww

After 6 weeks why would he want you to have his "better" TV, so he has a reason to always be at yours to watch it as well as potentially spy on you??

hearty rebel I put it in my self thank goodness when I was on my own

Mariana yes thanks will do that, doesn't do any harm

Please trust your gut feeling and don't let him do any of what he's suggesting x

If he works in IT he might know how to do these things quite easily. What is he like generally as a person? I wouldn’t trust him at all from what you say.

@knewyouwerewaiting he can be a bit bossy, he also turns up unexpectedly in my office sometimes, we work at the same place but its massive, he's not in my building and he doesn't really have any reason to come across to ours

Your update confirms to me he's very much a boundary pusher and could become a big problem. Be really wary and don't accept gifts because then you'll 'owe' him IYSWIM. Him being 'bossy' could escalate into abuse.

I'd dump him tbh.

No need to stay with a dodgy guy after 6 weeks. Imagine what he would be like after 6 months. Dump his techy bum.

He can monitor your internet activity through the router.

You are in a very dangerous situation. Six weeks is NO TIME AT ALL!

He shouldn't be handling your tech. Yes he is attempting to spy on you. Very dangerous.

Get away. Immediately. No Contact. Hes evil.

Just to add a dose of realism about what is and isn't possible...

Smart TV - unless the TV has voice control or a camera then the most he could possibly do would be to check what programmes you've been watching on streaming services. Not very exciting.

SIM card - anyone with physical access to your phone could install software (an app) that monitors you. A techy savvy person would not need to buy you a SIM card to do this. Software (apps) are not stored on SIM cards. Although if the SIM is registered in his name this would give him access to online account management (e.g. phone bills showing who you have called).

Internet provider - a techy savy person with physical access to your home computer (e.g. laptop) and router could install software that monitors your internet activity. I'm not sure what benefit signing you up to a new Internet provider brings. Unlike phone companies Internet providers do not provide itemised lists of websites you have visited. Certainly not the big well known Internet providers. It's possible there's an obscure Internet provider out there that offers this service. OP - what is the Internet provider he wants you to sign up to?

Tech people are into tech - and they like to get other people to use tech and services they are excited about. So he might just be a techie!

If he's got a high end smart TV he wants to swap with her, it may have camera etc.

And techie or not, at 6 weeks in, offering to take on an Internet contract and swap tvs is well dodgy. 🚩

Agree with @bobbiester. He cannot spy on you using the TV - the only people who potentially could using a Smart TV is the manufacturer.

Even if he could access your call log through an online SIM account, it wouldn't show texts or Whatsapp calls or similar, so would not be much use for a stalker.

Internet - he could log onto your online account and see only how many GB you download. He wouldn't have access to anything else whatsoever.

Look - if you are worried about tech stuff, then let him find the best deals and then you buy/pay for them.

The ONLY thing that raises a bit of a flag for me is that a very, very new boyfriend is offering to take on any utility bill for you and that you are considering it. Why are you?

Yeah op it's creepy. Definitely potential to be an abuser. 'Bossy' is never OK. Sounds like he is also showing up in your personal space to push boundaries.

And getting your phone contract ect...is him trying to intricate himself to your life so it's harder for you to walk away when you realise he is a nutter.

Run for the hills.

I have worked in IT for 20 years.

Smart TVs are notoriously poorly protected in terms of inbuilt security compared to a laptop or phone. It’s not so much what the Smart TV itself can do (if it doesn’t have a built in webcam, then all it can really offer a hacker is typically audio if it has a microphone, and your viewing history - the majority of people don’t use them for much other than TV and viewing apps). But the Smart TV acts as a backdoor into your home network, and once there the third party could conceivably find a way onto your other devices, set your router to log all websites you visit, install keyloggers, etc.

Usually, I’d say he’s an IT guy trying to offer his expertise to be helpful. But as it’s so early in a relationship and he’s making big gestures about your TV and changing your phone contract, something seems a little off.