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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Partner has been filming me naked without my consent

58 replies

mrssmith01 · 23/12/2019 13:24

Hi,
I really have nowhere else or no one else to go to so I'm hoping I can get some advice from here.

I basically found out on the weekend my partner of 3 years has been secretly filming me naked for the past few months, maybe years, when we have parties at home (just the 2 of us.)

I was using my boyfriend’s phone to change the music, and I accidentally swiped onto the camera and noticed pictures of me in the camera roll. I looked through and there were about 5 naked videos of me, taken without me knowing. I deleted them and confronted him about it, and he said he was sorry. Apparently there more videos from other parties we’d had at home, and he went through his phone and deleted them. I asked for his phone the next day and found more naked pictures of me that I didn’t know he had taken – when I was just out of the shower, or lying down etc., which I deleted and deleted from the recently deleted folder.

I’m not sure if I’m overreacting but it feels like a massive betrayal of my trust and violation of my privacy. He’s taken some nude pics before, then sent them to me straight away, and that’s fine – I know he’s taken them and can make him delete them. But all these secret videos and pictures creeps me out. He keeps acting apologetic and like it’s not really a big deal. He even said it’s not like I’ve cheated on you or something.

I just need some outside input because he’s just acting like it’s not a big deal at all.

Any advice appreciated!

OP posts:
Chihaha · 24/12/2019 00:28

Havent read the rest of the thread so someone has probs already pointer this out but you need to make sure it is all deleted from iCloud/google/anywhere else he syncs to.

TildaKauskumholm · 24/12/2019 17:30

Also what is the parties thing? Whatever it is he's out of order.

eddielizzard · 24/12/2019 20:50

How awful. He's violated your trust and your privacy. Completely out of order. This would be a deal breaker for me I'm afraid. But I'd go through his phone before I dumped him...

Borderterrierpuppy · 24/12/2019 20:53

Dump and report, sorry you are having to deal with this:(

Appreciateyourthoughts · 24/12/2019 21:02

When people refer to "Parties" isn't it usually drug taking at home ?Confused ... Not that in any shape or form that makes this ok!!!!

SpicyRibs · 24/12/2019 21:19

This is a bit fucked up.

What reason did he give for taking the videos? Is he wanking over these? I hope he's not been sharing online.

BadlyDrawnRoy · 24/11/2024 16:03

Seriously messed up, and illegal to the point of custodial sentence. I'd dump him and get the police involved, to ensure your pics don't end up all over the internet. He's a Weirdo....

AttilaTheMeerkat · 24/11/2024 16:25

Zombie thread from 2019

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