Name changed. Long back story of lifelong narcissistic controlling emotionally abusive relationship. I've only really come to see clearly what's gone on in the last couple of years, having been told all my life that its all been my fault for being a nasty uncaring person. That I make bad decisions and am not to be trusted etc etc. This is at odds with most of what I see in the rest of my life - I have a happy marriage with a lovely husband, lovely children and good friendships. Don't 'fall out' with anyone else and haven't got trouble in any other area of my life. I used to have a good career but family life took over and I think all my confidence has withered away to nothing in that respect.
Despite what she'd have me believing, my mother is the opposite. She lives alone with very few friends who are in contact by phone. No visitors. I'm the only one left in family. This relationship is causing me massive emotional pain and distress and disrupts the life of my family. I'm the only one who can help her but at what cost? She is incredibly verbally abusive and rude but yet depends on me on a daily basis.
What do I do? I really feel close to some sort of breaking point. Yes I've tried talking to her but that is absolutely impossible - it just gets turned back in a tirade against me. I don't shout or retaliate. I try to 'feed' the problem and avoid conflict but at what cost to my own mental health? Our entire daily family life is compromised because of responsibilities to her yet she says I'm the bully and do little for her.