Boyfriend and weird drunk texts

[AmIBeingStupid111]

Posted yesterday about ex texting me but how brilliant new boyfriend is.
But last night boyfriend was out drinking with his 2 friends and my last text to him at
11pm was "okay dokey, have a good night xxx"

I then woke up at 2am to a text saying
"Baby just like that, i'll be there"
And then another straight after saying
"Please just have a good night"
I sent back a confused face and he replied saying
"Tell (his friends name) to be ready"

I once again said "what?"
And asked him what the messages meant and he sent a picture of a bear with love heart eyes.
I told him i'm trying to sleep and wasnt finding this funny.

He phoned me and i asked what the "i'll be there, please just have a good night" meant and why i would "please just have a good night" and he said 'because youre my girlfriend",

But do they seem.dodgy to anyone else,
Im not a paranoid person but these messages have set my gut instinct off

Still dont get back with your ex though

But you might want to do this ones arse too

The advice I would give my 25 year old self is to always listen to your gut. Sounds like he's gaslighting you too. Sorry OP. Do yourself an enormous favour and choose your peace of mind over this turmoil x

My head's a mess :( i feel a constant bubble in my throat. Cant stomach the idea of him messaging someone else, i'm praying it was drunk rambles

Listen to your gut

You know the messages weren’t for you. HE knows the messages weren’t for you either

Just because you don’t have proof doesn’t make it any less true. You don’t need proof to act on it.

How long have you been together? If he’s doing this already it doesn’t bode well for the future. I don’t think you’ll ever trust him properly after this but what you do from here is down to you

What you should’ve done is said absolutely nothing and asked to see his phone the moment you saw him

You don't need either of them. Not now, not ever. Trust your instincts.

Sorry what were you saying Okey dokey to? That's a response so what was it?

So she was out and he was arranging with his mate to get to where she was,while messaging her to reassure her that he would be there. That’s how i read it.

I am not a fan of this:
“I rang him to say it was still nagging me and he said i clearly dont trust him and that really angers him,”

Umm he is the one who sent dodgy messages that he cant explain properly...?

They always say you're ruining the day/nice time when you're close to the truth. I speak from experience. It sounds like he'll never admit anything. I'm sorry op.

You don't trust him so does it really matter who the messages were for? This will not get any better if you stay with him.

This one's not for you, if you've any sense. Walk away, quickly. It will end in tears.

Ok, check his phone for the message that was sent 1 minute after he texted you.

If it’s still there, ask him to explain it.

If it’s not, then you know he’s covering something up.

If he texts everyone drunk and this is norm
1/ why are you just now learning this and he’s never done this before
2/ ask to see other drunk texts he sends to other people

Anything that he says that start with
“You’re...”

You shut down with “nope, that’s not going to work on me either. Try again”

Don't check his phone, don't look for any evidence.

You have said your head is a mess, so just end it. Why snoop around and make yourself worse? You have no ties to him, you are unhappy with what's happened, it's the quickest and best solution.

I've actually been through this with my ex. He sent me weird messages on messenger, snapchat and even called my messenger at 2am when he knew I was up for work at 4am. Messages were basically saying "come snuggle to mine now" etc and even called me "Chloe". I obviously knew right away he was talking to someone behind my back as all the signs were there (he's cheated before so I never really could trust him 100% again). But when I confronted him he made me feel like I was crazy and how those messages were intended for me and how the message "Chloe" was intended for his groupchat (his best mate was talking to a girl called Chloe), thought he'd managed to worm his way out of it but it always stuck to me and my gut instinct told me he was being dishonest and doing the dirty behind my back. I ended it months later and a couple weeks later him and a Chloe were a thing!

If your gut instincts is telling you something isn't right then please listen to your gut instincts as it's always right!

He said I've ruined his night after a lovely 2 days

Oh did he indeed.. bless his cheating cotton socks...blaming You for his fuck ups... he's a lying fucker and he knows he's been caught out ... don't fall for this pricks lies OP, the trust is gone .. you cannot get it back..

Clearly lying to you and trying every which way to get out of the lie, but mainly by gaslighting you and insisting those messages were for you?

Fuck me, this is a clear case of kick to the kerb and walk without looking back ever again.

He is a twat of the first order and is so obviously cheating or was attempting to.

I have had this gaslighting shit pulled on me so many times and let me tell you I tied myself in knots over it. Never again will I ever allow anyone to tell me what my reality is, to change my perception of the truth. My ex did this so many times, he'd do or say something and 5 minutes later, after I heard him or saw him, deny, deny, deny. I think he got a kick out of it too, would tell me I was mental etc etc and needed help. I would dump him and then his attempt to get me back would be texts asking "are you better?"

Just fucking NO NO NO. You're being played in a very cruel way. Gaslighting is horrendous.

Those texts were 1050% for someone else.

Give him the Christmas gift of your absence. He has given you the gift of showing you he is a cheat, a liar and can not be trusted, and thinks so little of you that he would rather you twist your brain into multiple spins and knots than admit he is a cheat.

You are worth SO MUCH MORE. Never forget it.

ps my ex would also tell me I was spoiling things if I pulled him up on his tricks. He did it to me on holiday once, was nasty about my appearance and then denied it. I was so upset and did not speak to him for several days on holiday, tried to fly home, but could not get a flight.

He gaslit me constantly, saying he didn't mean it, I always misunderstand, why would he do x, y and z if he was not happy with my body, why do I not trust him, why do I always twist what he says.

Fuck that shit, never again. These types of people screw with your mental health, your HEALTH, the most precious thing you will ever own, your GOOD HEALTH.

Do not allow it in your life. I was out with a good friend last night, his ex partner did it to him for years. He said he will never ever tolerate that bullshit again.

He's a twat. Suggest you dump him and do not message the ex boyfriend either. You'll feel better for not being messed around by men

I have had this gaslighting shit pulled on me so many times and let me tell you I tied myself in knots over it. Never again will I ever allow anyone to tell me what my reality is, to change my perception of the truth. My ex did this so many times, he'd do or say something and 5 minutes later, after I heard him or saw him, deny, deny, deny. I think he got a kick out of it too, would tell me I was mental etc etc and needed help. I would dump him and then his attempt to get me back would be texts asking "are you better?"

Well done and credit to you for escaping this hell.. it's astounding the amount of people who do not recognise it.. I too was trapped in a similar situ many years ago.. thank goodness for Mumsnet now to help see it