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Original poster

Boyfriend and weird drunk texts

68 replies

AmIBeingStupid111 · 22/12/2019 10:45

Posted yesterday about ex texting me but how brilliant new boyfriend is.
But last night boyfriend was out drinking with his 2 friends and my last text to him at
11pm was "okay dokey, have a good night xxx"

I then woke up at 2am to a text saying
"Baby just like that, i'll be there"
And then another straight after saying
"Please just have a good night"
I sent back a confused face and he replied saying
"Tell (his friends name) to be ready"

I once again said "what?"
And asked him what the messages meant and he sent a picture of a bear with love heart eyes.
I told him i'm trying to sleep and wasnt finding this funny.

He phoned me and i asked what the "i'll be there, please just have a good night" meant and why i would "please just have a good night" and he said 'because youre my girlfriend",

But do they seem.dodgy to anyone else,
Im not a paranoid person but these messages have set my gut instinct off

OP posts:
CrazyMum40 · 22/12/2019 13:36

They wasn't meant for you and its men like that that make me stay with my disgusting pig boyfriend

Have you text your ex back yet, did the new boyfriend make you mad enough to reply to the ex or are you still sat fuming?

Aquamarine1029 · 22/12/2019 13:55

I would be going to the meal without him.

Startingoveragain1 · 22/12/2019 14:42

Sounds like either he saw someone out and about amd he eas finishing their conversation in text (just ended up messing up and textin u) or he was havin the conversation on text and while replyin got onto the wrong chat . Sound dodgy. Those texts have a context but they werent for you hence why they make no sense. See what he has to say for himself today
...

MikeUniformMike · 22/12/2019 14:55

He might have been drunk, and that's why they were weird.

When I was in a relationship that was on its last legs there were quite a few weird texts that made no sense.

BumbleBeee69 · 22/12/2019 15:15

OP.. those messages were for someone else.. any idiot can see that... He's Gaslighting you if he says otherwise Lady... good luck Flowers

midep · 22/12/2019 15:25

Looks like you've got another flaky man in your life OP.

Danni91 · 22/12/2019 15:29

Did he have any logical explanation when he woke up?

mrbob · 23/12/2019 08:54

They are totally the kind of messages I would have sent when I was young and drunk to someone I was seeing! And not in any way indicative of cheating

BumbleBeee69 · 23/12/2019 12:11

They are totally the kind of messages I would have sent when I was young and drunk to someone I was seeing! And not in any way indicative of cheating

can you explain what they mean then ?

Original poster
AmIBeingStupid111 · 23/12/2019 21:16

Update:
He made out the messages were for me (ofcourse), i didnt ask but he sent me screenshots of his messages (obviously he couldve deleted them) but we went for the meal and i "forgot" about it, went shopping with my toddler niece today so had no time to think.
Got home and saw on the screenshot that he sent to his friend "get them here" and that was 1 minute after he messaged me saying "baby i'll be there, please just have a good night" (bear in mind he said yesterday he was trying to get a lift to where this friend was)

I rang him to say it was still nagging me and he said i clearly dont trust him and that really angers him,
He said he couldnt explain the messages but they were clearly for me and he sends stupid messages to everyone,
I told him it seems a coincendence he was trying to get to his friends town the same time he was messaging me saying "baby i'll be there" and he was like "you can look at my phone" 'you should trust me, i trust you 1000%"

Amd now i feel awful and crazy for even bringing it up :(

OP posts:
GilbertMarkham · 23/12/2019 21:52

"baby i'll be there, please just have a good night"

Neither of things things bear ant relationship to your circumstances, do they?

You weren't out for the night.

You weren't asking him about being/coming anywhere.

So it v much seems like they were fur someone else and he's now trying to style/brazen it out (and gaslight you I suppose).

You're not awful or crazy at all - look at how many posters on this thread came to the conclusion that those messages weren't for you.

He wax drunk so he got sloppy (not that people can't make a mistake sober too) and messaged the wrong person. He had two or maybe re ongoing, simultaneous convos going on around the sane time, didn't he. Easy to send msg to wrong person.

GilbertMarkham · 23/12/2019 21:53

*for
*was

Original poster
AmIBeingStupid111 · 23/12/2019 21:54

No i wasnt out, i was asleep and woken by the buzzing of my phone,
He's now messaging me saying im the best thing to have happened to him and how much he loves me and how he hopes i believe him

OP posts:
Original poster
AmIBeingStupid111 · 23/12/2019 21:55

The thing is, he has no excuse or reasoning for the messages, just "i was drunk and send everyone stupid messages when im drunk"

OP posts:
GilbertMarkham · 23/12/2019 22:10

The "please just" in "please just have a good night" remind me of something you say to someone who's not enjoying themselves or annoyed about something and letting it ruin their night

I think you were right with this.

He does indeed sound like he's chatting to someone who's complaining about their night out or wine grievance/issue.

It looks like he saw this ex (or some other woman) while he was out and she was having some drama with redacted friends name and he’s then tried to text her and tell her if she needs him he’ll come, and has made the thinly veiled threat at the redacted friends name as he is saying he will get in a fight with someone to defend her.

And this seems like a reasonable stab at some sort of explanation.

Does his friend also know/hang out with his ex? Not sure if "tell friend to be ready" is bullshit fighting talk, or about telling him to be ready to leave/go somewhere else/who knows.

Maybe his messages were just drunken gibberish that has no relation to anything that was going on, but personally I don't think so and (others itt don't either); it just seems quite specific (though he sounds drunk, yes).

He also now sounds v over the top, like he knows he's in the verge of a real problem with you or even losing you and is laying it all on thick.

Difficult for you with no further evidence - can you snoop if you get access to his phone/SM etc. (If you need more to make a decision).

GilbertMarkham · 23/12/2019 22:10

*some not wine!

GilbertMarkham · 23/12/2019 22:13

Before the MN anti snoopers come down like a tonne of bricks; sometimes snooping is the only thing that gives someone the real picture and avoids then wasting months and years on their cheating/uncommited etc partner.

BumbleBeee69 · 23/12/2019 22:13

He's lying through his pearly whites and reacting to being questioned because he's lying.. he was messaging someone else ....

You either accept this OP, or you end it.. either way I believe he's a liar. Flowers

Raphael34 · 23/12/2019 22:17

He’s clearly lying. Though I have a feeling you’re going to let him pull the wool over your eyes 🙄

Original poster
AmIBeingStupid111 · 23/12/2019 22:17

Thanks everyone, my gut instinct is still strong that they werent for me,
I just dont know what to do.
He said i've ruined his night after a lovely 2 days

OP posts:
JustMe9 · 23/12/2019 22:22

ALWAYS trust your gut! He is clearly lying to you.

CalleighDoodle · 23/12/2019 22:24

He is being appalling to you atm. Ruining his night?! Wtf he sent you several drunk messages waking you up. Has he apologised for that shit behaviour?!

Dump him. He is crap even if not cheating

GilbertMarkham · 23/12/2019 22:33

He said i've ruined his night after a lovely 2 days

Seems to me like he's running the gamut of tactics - lying, gaslightinglive bombing, guilting. ..

He is being appalling to you atm. Ruining his night?! Wtf he sent you several drunk messages waking you up. Has he apologised for that shit behaviour?!

This.

It was actually kinda shit that he was waking you up drunk messaging you after you'd said goodnight and gone to bed to get some kip, let alone that his messages suggest he was in contact with another woman.

GilbertMarkham · 23/12/2019 22:36

I just dont know what to do.

Can you get a hold of his phone or other device to see what messages he might have been receiving and responding to?

Though it seems likely he'll delete everything now if he hadn't already.

Can you get access to any of his other Comms?

GilbertMarkham · 23/12/2019 22:37
  • love bombing