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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Mate's girlfriend lying to him about pregnancy

61 replies

Taylorisme5 · 21/12/2019 19:41

Apologies if i've got this totally wrong. A workmate of mine has been really stressed for about 10 days, I asked him what was up and he said his girlfriend might be pregnant. I asked if they had taken a test and he said yes but the result came up negative.

I suggested they take another one, but in order to be 100% sure, go to the Drs. I didn't see him until a week later. I asked if there had been any updates and he said she still didn't know if she was pregnant or not, that they needed to 'wait for the test results'.

Apparently the Dr had told her that he 'wouldn't carry out a pregnancy test until her home test showed a positive result.'

I may be wrong but pregnancy tests at the Drs are instant, aren't they ? I was offered one there and then, and got the result there and then ?

I can't imagine any doctor refusing to carry out a pregnancy test based on a home kit ? They aren't always accurate, and as far as I know, any female can walk into a family planning clinic and request a pregnancy test.

I asked if he was with her when the Dr told her all this and he said no, she went on her own.

I don't understand how they can 'still be waiting for test results'. I feel like she's lying to him, this seems odd what she's saying. Just don't get why ?

OP posts:
Original poster
Taylorisme5 · 21/12/2019 20:02

Thanks, i'll tell him they can try the digital one !

OP posts:
sue51 · 21/12/2019 20:02

If the test came back negative, what are you accusing this woman of lying about?

PortiaCastis · 21/12/2019 20:03

What has your friends girlfriends uterus to do with you and if your friend didn't want a child he should've taken responsibility for his own sperm

helpmum2003 · 21/12/2019 20:05

It sounds dodgy as presumably she missed a period or had symptoms to suggest pregnancy and usually under these circumstances a test is positive. (But if they're having ongoing unprotected sex then you're always 3 weeks away from a 'final' test as they can take up to 3 weeks from conception to show.)

CalleighDoodle · 21/12/2019 20:15

Are you also sleeping with him?

PurpleDaisies · 21/12/2019 20:16

You see very involved in this.

yellowallpaper · 21/12/2019 20:21

Home testing kits are better than the ones we used in A&e! The gp won't do a blood test without good reason.

SylvanianFrenemies · 21/12/2019 20:25

You seem way overinvolved - weird that you would jump to saying she is lying.

What would she have to gain?!

WhoTheFuckIsGail · 21/12/2019 20:26

What a waste of the GPs time that was. Negative pregnancy test, she isn't pregnant or it's too early. What exactly is a GP supposed to do.

Let me guess, she's 'on the pill' and wants a baby and he doesn't.....

onemoresipofthehenny · 21/12/2019 20:50

I agree with other posters, why are you so involved? I get you think it's an odd story and he's your work mate but seriously I dont think you should be this concerned about it.
To me it looks like you want her to be lying so you can be his shoulder to cry on Hmm and whatever else...

brimfullofasha · 21/12/2019 20:52

In my experience GPs won't do pregnancy testing unless there is a reason for concern. They'll just advise you to buy a home test. They're no less accurate and GP s have a duty to not waste NHS resources.

2020BetterBeBetter · 21/12/2019 20:58

It’s really unlikely but possible she is having blood tests and, if so, usually two blood tests are done 48 hours apart to make sure the hcg and progesterone levels are rising and then you need to wait for the results (usually only a day). The only justifiable reason I can think of for doing so would be negative home tests, no period or very light bleeding with pains suggestive of possible ectopic. I also think it’s unlikely to have been carried out by the GP and much more likely to be the Early Pregnancy Unit at the hospital.

BumbleBeee69 · 21/12/2019 20:59

She's not pregnant atall.... she's spinning him a yarn... I bet he's still sleeping with her and she's desperately trying to GET pregnant because men are that stupid Hmm

Original poster
Taylorisme5 · 21/12/2019 21:05

I'm not 'overly involved' i'm not 'sleeping with him', this is a forum where people ask questions. He has been turning to alcohol over this and i'm allowed to be concerned. He's said that he's made it very clear to her he does not want a child and that she had admitted to him she's not taking all her pills. But I accepted the answers and said no more. As usual the bitchy brigade jumping to attack the PPs.

OP posts:
Original poster
Taylorisme5 · 21/12/2019 21:06

I've asked on here to get answers from people more experienced with this.

OP posts:
CalleighDoodle · 21/12/2019 21:07

Does he wear condoms?

Original poster
Taylorisme5 · 21/12/2019 21:08

I have no idea and don't really want to know. But they should be doing in this case.

OP posts:
Original poster
Taylorisme5 · 21/12/2019 21:09

It's amazing how because you show concern for a male you 'must' be having an affair with him or trying to break them up or similar. 😳

OP posts:
CalleighDoodle · 21/12/2019 21:09

He should always be doing if he doesn't want children. Maybe you need ti explain to him that shooting semen into women can result in pregnancy. Men get women pregnant. Is he a bit thick? Does he not know how sex works?

Tiddlertoddler · 21/12/2019 21:11

I agree with pp, I was never offered a test when I went to GPs, Dr just said that a positive from a home test was good enough for them and referred me to midwife app which I had at about 8 weeks.

Original poster
Taylorisme5 · 21/12/2019 21:12

True, but I suppose he trusted that she was on the pill, and they have been together a long time.

OP posts:
CalleighDoodle · 21/12/2019 21:14

She doesn't atop being fertile because they have been together a long time Hmm

Tell him clearly and slowly, if he doesnt want to be a father he needs to buy his own condoms and wear. them. every. time.

PaperbackBlighter · 21/12/2019 21:14

Thanks, i'll tell him they can try the digital one !

Their sex life, contraception, and pregnancy choices are nothing to do with you. Don’t tell him anything.

Why are you so over-invested in this man’s sex life? It’s very weird.

BumbleBeee69 · 21/12/2019 21:16

but I suppose he trusted that she was on the pill

so he wasn't taking any responsibility for his own sperm... Idiot.

Original poster
Taylorisme5 · 21/12/2019 21:17

@paperback blighter, just shut up. He's confided this in me and i've asked for advice.

OP posts: