How do you split DLA/Carer allowance with your ex?

[Mamsnetter2020]

For your child?

I don't. I have my son 13 out of 14 nights a fortnight and the father pays no maintenance though.

Resident parent should get the DLA, Carers Allowance and child maintenance.

If it's 50-50 (or thereabouts) it would be different.

I have a son with autism and I wouldn’t split the carers as that’s based on what YOU earn.

The dla would depend on how childcare is split?

I dont.
Im the one thats given everything up for my children

The resident parent keeps it simple

Like a previous poster said, carers allowance is YOURS and based on your income, in reality you shouldn’t be sharing it at all. This amount is also entered into any tax credits

Ex doesn't believe in child's disability, therefore I spend all the DLA on supporting the child during my time with child.

I don’t split it. But he doesn’t pay me maintenance.

Totally depends on the set up

Carers allowance is for you, not the child.

DLA would depend on what the child care split is.

Who looks after the kid? Pretty simple equation.

I'm not in this position myself, but a family member is. Carers Allowance should go only to the claimant. There's no question of splitting that. Even if you both meet the requirements and the other parent can't claim Carers because you are so is on eg JSA, they're still receiving some income.

There might be an argument for apportioning some part of the DLA to the other parent depending on childcare split and when disability related expenses will be incurred. So if there was a particular provision you wanted your child to attend and it was on ex's time, it might be justifiable for the DLA to pay for some/all of this. Possibly.

Thanks for the replies - would anyone have any insight into why my ex is trying to agree for any money that we can claim be put into savings for DC and not spent as needed now?

God knows. Financial control, to keep you dependent, because he hates you have any control? It may be wise to save some towards future needs but children and parents who get this have very immediate needs and often severe financial pressures.

I save my sons dla 🤷🏼‍♀️

I spend some as needed but the rest goes into savings as I don’t need to use it all.

Is he financially better off then you? He might feel ‘his half’ of the dla can be saved?

He is much better off than me, he’s not talking about his half, he wants me to agree to it all being saved.

Your Ex is a CF and doesn’t realise what the benefits are for.

Just try to not engage verbally
Do an excel sheet

Incoming
Outgoing

Oops ! Nothing left for saving

Twat

Him , not you

What does he expect you to live on and use for day to day costs of disability?

"His half" doesn't exist, it's all yours (assuming you're the resident parent).

No one can explain his logic apart from him. He's wrong of course. You don't have to engage with him. Just say no.

Well he could be a controlling arse who is trying to keep you financially dependent him or he could be clueless but we'll intentioned in wanting make sure there's money set aside for your son in the future.

You know him, why do you think he's doing it?

Is he paying adequate maintenance?

Be careful.

There are cases where people have saved and then it's affected other income because you have savings.

We only had the diagnosis last week so it’s not something I’ve thought about or looked into at all.

Ex is like a dog with a bone so me not agreeing to put any money we may get it into savings was agitating him.

Ex is very money focused and has previously tried to get me to sign CB over to him so he has less to pay to his other child’s mother. We have a close to 50/50 arrangement so he gives me very little of our child a month.

*for our