How do you split DLA/Carer allowance with your ex?

[Mamsnetter2020]

For your child?

Do you work op? You can only claim carers if you work less than (10?) hours and earn under (£115?) salary. If you are eligible, it is categorically yours.

If you only just got the diagnosis, you haven't had a decision on your DLA yet? You need to make sure you put the claim in your name.

If you can't work cos of DS's needs and Ex can work cos you take on the primary care role, then it's reasonable that some of thst money covers some of basic living costs if needed. Could you agree to the rest going into an easy to access savings account so you can spend it specifically in his needs? This is basically what I do to ensure there's always money if I need it for him

Any DLA would belong to your child, not you and not your ex. You legally arnt meant to save any DLA at all, if you can manage to save it, then its not really needed.....or so they say!

Carer's is for whoever claims it, do either you or your ex work? as its it is means tested and classed as income and therefore need to be declared as so. To qualify your child need either to be awarded middle or high rate care, you need to earn less than a £125 (ish not 100% on this figure) per week (if slightly over you can pay the excess into a pension) and care for the child for at least 35 hours a week.

Your ex is a knob.

DLA is paid by the government because daily life costs more if you are a person with a disability. (e.g. extra washing, a special diet, particular adaptions, transport or leisure opportunities.) It is not paid as an investment or savings opportunity.

Carers Allowance is massively under paid as it recognises the carer i.e you are significantly disadvantaged financially by your caring role. Carers Allowance is only paid to one person.

@McFarts - where exactly does it say your not ‘legally’ allowed to save it?

Op considering you have pretty much 50/50 care like you say there is no reason why he couldn’t have half the dla considering he has him half the time?

He can treat/save/do whatever he likes with it for him and you can do the same.

Carers would only be yours though as it’s based on what you earn and not him so don’t split that.

My youngest autistic but just been turned down for DLA. 2 doctors told me to apply.

Appeal failed also.

Did I do my form wrong?

@LionelMessy - Any decision to award DLA will be based on how your child's condition impacts on their day to day life, not because they have an official diagnosis of autism.

Iv completed the form 4 times in 4 years and my son gets HRC & HRM for Autism and he’s 6 and it’s been awarded ‘indefinitely’ although they can and may want to reassess at any stage from now til 16 when he will switch to PIP.

"Close to 50/50"? Such remarks always make me suspicious

Who is actually paying for your child's childcare, clothes, books, toys, tech & WiFi, school equipment, stationery, extra curricular activities, toiletries... ?

I find more often than not even with supposed 50/50 it's usually mum and it's usually not actually that close to 50/50 when measured logically.

I work 24 hours a week so it sound like I wouldn’t be eligible for any carers allowance. I really don’t know what we would put down for extra living costs - he has meltdowns but doesn’t destroy things. I’m hoping he gets extra support in school and emotionally rather than cash.

The split is 4 nights with me 3 nights with his Dad a week and 50/50 in school holidays. I buy all his uniform and he only does activities on the nights he’s with me, but I get the CB so that covers it I would say.

Yea I wouldn't class that as close to 50/50 to be honest.

You don't have to specify what you're spending the DLA on it's an acknowledgement/coverage for the fact that a person with a disability has extra costs - you may not realise what they are yet.

Eg for me I have ocd, agoraphobia, anxiety and depression plus a physical disability which limits my mobility.

I'm currently housebound so saving in some ways but spending more in others.

I spend way too much on cleaning products and toiletries as I clean things multiple times. I'm currently struggling with cooking/preparing food so buy ready prepped stuff a lot which is more expensive, everything has to be bought online and delivered which is more costly, that includes prescriptions which there is now a delivery fee for, I get through a lot of painkillers but also indigestion/stomach remedies to deal with side effects of meds, first aid stuff as I frequently bump and fall, muscle treatments to help with pain.

When I am up to going out and about I rarely can cope with public transport, sometimes it's the mental health side (I don't cope with touching others or crowds) sometimes the physical (legs are too unsteady to risk having to stand, pain is too bad to cope with crappy bus/train seating) so I'm better getting taxis which isn't cheap. I'll use more anti bac gel due to anxiety having to touch door handles etc when out or worst of all toilets with no bloody washing facilities! Clothes can end up thrown out because to me they're contaminated for some reason and need replaced, or if I have a fall or other accident I've ended up at times ripping sleeves, hoods, coats or wrecking tights/trousers - blood is MURDER to get out of clothes! I've learned to buy certain styles of clothes to avoid to some degree but that can be hard depending what the fashions are at time of buying - eg I had a nightmare a few years back trying to find a coat that had proper wristbands as I find loose ones too likely to end up either damaged or contaminated or even cause accidents, I tried with a loose one which caught on a door handle because I couldn't manoeuvre around the door normally due to the layout and ended up hurting my shoulder and elbow...

In short it's all the stuff able and healthy people don't even have to think about.

I have friends with other disabilities inc one who is wheelchair bound and one who has a prosthetic leg, also a friend with a child with a severe learning disability who hates being dressed/undressed but cannot do it himself - finding clothes that work with certain disabilities can be incredibly hard. And the ones that have been designed to do so aren't cheap.

I really don’t know what we would put down for extra living costs - he has meltdowns but doesn’t destroy things.

You don't have to specify the costs - you specify the daily care your DC needs in terms of time and what the tasks are. They will then work out what that equates to in terms of money.

I’m hoping he gets extra support in school and emotionally rather than cash.

The DLA claim is separate from all of that - they will just award you with money, not support (although there may well be other support you can go on to access once you've been awarded DLA).

For school support, you should look into applying for an EHCP assessment (you can do it or the school can). And I'd speak to the school about what emotional support they can offer and also ask your GP to refer to CAMHS if further help is needed. If your DC has a diagnosis from CAMHS, they may well invite you/DC to support groups anyway.

Well that's not 50/50 is it? You are the resident parent and you pay for more.

If you are able to claim CA it is because YOU are not able to work to earn above a certain point. If you are a lone parent, not sure how UC works, but you are also able to claim income support.

DLA is not a payment to the parents, the claim is in the child's name under their own NI number and you are just their representative - no different than if you were power of attorney for an elderly relative so it is not either parents money.

Your not allowed to keep it because its for your childs needs

You legally arnt meant to save any DLA at all, if you can manage to save it, then its not really needed.....or so they say

Who is 'they'?

It's a non-means-tested benefit.

@slipperywhensparticus - of course your allowed to keep it. What if your child doesn’t need extra for a while or if you earn enough to cover the stuff they do need.

It’s not means tested so you can have thousands saved and still claim it as the child is entitled to it.

It does not say anywhere that your not allowed to save it or keep it!