Partner met a woman at the gym :/

[ladygaga14]

So my partner met a woman at the gym. He told me one day that she had asked him to help her with some of the equipment, & that was no problem. Then I walk in to the gym some weeks later to find him with her again- just the 2 of them. He did introduce us & I was v friendly but her face hit the floor when She saw me & they swiftly left together as they had finished working out. I approached him about it & he was furious. He doesn’t understand at all why I’d be upset. Turns out they’ve been messaging each other to meet to work out. I don’t speak to any other men at the gym, whereas he has met lots of women there. This really concerns me as I wouldn’t even know how to strike up a conversation with a man at the gym without feeling like I was giving the wrong idea. I feel he being is over friendly towards other women & it makes me feel insecure. Would anyone else feel upset by this or am I just being overly insecure?

He got angry when you expressed discomfort, and he pretended to not understand your feelings so he could shift the blame to you

Ah yes forgot this bit....gaslights you too.

Bin.

As a guy, I don't think what he has done or how he has behaved is correct.

And you're not wrong in suspecting him.

He sounds a bit of a ladies man.

He's a gas lighting piece of shit. Sorry. As another said, Google DARVO.

He's clearly in this with the intent to take it further. Do not let yourself be treated like this. I repeat. You don't have to accept this awful behaviour from some e who is supposed to put your needs first (above a random person anyway)

Run for the hills..

The walking out together is the bit that would piss me off, he left you to walk out with her.

I think he is just liking having his ego stroked. What does he post on social media about your relationship?

@MoreSexPleaseImBritish

MEN AND WOMEN WITH SHARED INTERESTS CAN JUST BE FRIENDS!!!!

I have male friends. We share an occasional text. A once in a while night out. Funny pictures over email. Etc etc All very normal.

I have noticed that sometimes lines get blurred. I know of a woman aged around 25, who has a male friend at work. When we go out, she sits next to him, he holds her hand, she puts her head on his shoulder, he’ll rest his head on hers. Standing up, they’ll face you, arms around each other. They’ll share hotel rooms to save ££. Now, they say “we’re just good friends. Both have partners, who do not know how they behave. I know this, because if partners are included, this pair are nowhere near as tactile”. Personally I find them disrespectful and ott. I’d hate to be one of their significant others. This ‘we’re just good friends’ stuff is rubbish and an excuse to act in imo a completely inappropriate manner. They need to Grow up.

Op. If I walked into a gym and saw my husband chatting to another woman, I’d feel nothing. If I walked over and he introduced me, I’d feel nothing. If he then left with her after an awkward exchange, we’d be having words. There’s no way he’d treat me like that though as I would never stand for it.

My husband has a choice to be in this relationship. He doesn’t have to be. He’s here because he wants to be and he therefore acts with consideration.

I reckon the best way to check is to tell him how his (and her) actions and reactions make you feel. Even if he’s totally above board in the friendship, if he dismisses and belittles your feelings then, perhaps, he’s not the man for you...

I’m all for friendship.

I wouldn’t be for it if it was borderline secretive and I was second fiddle to the friend. And I wouldn’t take kindly to a furious reaction if I felt the need to ask about it.

If it were innocent he would have been pleased to see you. He wasn’t and neither was she and it was awkward. That’s because something isnt right.

I agree with those who think he was enjoying his ego being stroked and possibly (I think it’s likely but it may not have been) building up to asking that woman out. You’ve spoiled his dirty little plans and his ego fun.
He’s now trying to shift the blame to you to make you look stupid. And it’s working because now you are doubting what you saw.
You saw it. It happened. He was weird. It’s all dodgy. How dodgy we don’t know.
Where did they go after? Coffee? Her place? I’d want to find that out first.
I’d be seriously considering my options as that kind of behaviour isn’t right.

I don't agree that your being unreasonable. How can your feelings be unreasonable. Your feelings are something you can't control, you don't choose to feel insecure about this, you just do! And your partner should definitely take steps to make sure you don't feel that way.

It sounds like he's not done anything wrong, but I think you know that. He has reassured you which is good, as I think that shows he genuinely isn't doing anything he shouldn't be.

Sorry I don't really have any advice I just wanted to say your not a crazy woman for having those feelings, just be careful how you deal with them 😊

@ladygaga14

Has he said anymore or.explained his actions. Have you seen he since?