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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Looking at a local escort site for just the pictures?

53 replies

Pirateladyarrr · 19/12/2019 19:46

Any men on here ever do? That or women ever been in a relationship with a man and found out he'd been looking at local area escort website but been told it was only to look at the pictures for self pleasure material only? My stbh swears down it was only to look at the pictures

OP posts:
Keepaddingpets · 19/12/2019 19:49

There's enough porn on the internet to avoid having to look at local people. Big red flag!!!

SpicyRibs · 19/12/2019 19:49

My stbh swears down it was only to look at the pictures

Seems legit.

peachypetite · 19/12/2019 20:08
Hmm
Pirateladyarrr · 19/12/2019 20:13

I've found plenty of porn history before and after the escort Internet searches. Yes i agree there's literally tons of porn videos and porn pics out there and no reason to look at a local escort website unless he was on there for the obvious reason. But he's swearing it was just to look at the pics? Could it have been a thrill? Some strange fantasy to use the escort pics because those women perhaps seemed more 'real' than random porn or am I making excuses for him. I was his first he was a virgin before me

OP posts:
JoJoSM2 · 19/12/2019 20:15

OP, sounds like you’re trying very hard to make excuses for him and rationalise behaviour that everyone can see is not on.

RLEOM · 19/12/2019 20:31

I'd say porn addict. I'm not sure of his age but taking into account he was a virgin before, he's probably spent years pleasuring himself to porn.

Does he have issues keeping it up? Does he spend money on porn?

RLEOM · 19/12/2019 20:32

Or he is looking at hiring an escort regardless as to whether he has a porn addiction or not.

Nothavingfunrightnow · 19/12/2019 20:34

I drink red wine because I like the labels on the bottles Hmm

Pirateladyarrr · 19/12/2019 20:40

No issues with keeping it up, no evidence of spending money on porn. He always is happy when we have sex

OP posts:
Pirateladyarrr · 19/12/2019 20:41

Would a porn addiction lead to looking at local escort website to use the pictures on there for 'material'?

OP posts:
Elmer83 · 19/12/2019 20:43

He was looking for an escort to have sex with. I’m sorry xx

category12 · 19/12/2019 20:43

Yeah, right.

JazzyJelly · 19/12/2019 20:45

My H said the same. I do believe he didn't go through with it, because he's a goddamn coward. But the trust is gone forever. It's not ok. Nothing can make it ok. He's a porn addict too OP, and he never stopped lying about it. They will always choose pixels over us. Sorry if I sound harsh, I'm struggling with the same thing at the moment.

JustASmallTownCurl · 19/12/2019 20:52

OP, sounds like you’re trying very hard to make excuses for him and rationalise behaviour that everyone can see is not on.

This.

Come on OP, do you honestly believe his bullshit?

Surely you don't think you can go back to thinking he's respectful and loving?

He's looked up escort agencies specifically for women who live in your area. With the infinite number of pictures of naked women online, he "just wanted to look at pictures" of women in your postcode?

His "excuse" is almost as insulting as his behaviour to be honest.

You know this is bullshit don't you?

Pirateladyarrr · 19/12/2019 20:52

This happened 8 years ago. It came up again in an argument yesterday and I can't stop thinking about it. He says reason he looked on escort website was because 8 years ago he would get loads of spam looking on an actual porn website? So looking at an escort website was spam free apparently 🤔

OP posts:
JustASmallTownCurl · 19/12/2019 20:53

We can all keep saying escort sites and pictures but the fact is he looked up local prostitutes in your area. I'm sorry, I wouldn't be able to let that go either but I couldn't have stayed 8 more years with it driving me mad. Sorry OP Thanks

JazzyJelly · 19/12/2019 20:54

That sounds like nonsense I'm afraid. Did he ever change from the original discovery?

Pirateladyarrr · 19/12/2019 20:56

I was niave about what men can be capable of lying about at the time. I totally believed him at the time but it's been stored away in the back of my head and it came out in an argument yesterday. If I was who I am today back then I would of totally ended it with him and I told him that yesterday in the argument. He's still swearing it was just to find pictures and aviod porn website spam. Pretty sure porn websites are the same today as they were 8 years ago?

OP posts:
Deadtome · 19/12/2019 20:58

Only one reason men look at escort websites...as I learnt to my detriment. If this happened 8 years ago you can guarantee he used prostitutes before that and since.

Pirateladyarrr · 19/12/2019 20:58

Am I a mug to believe him. If he did ever do anything bad I know he'd never admit to it

OP posts:
category12 · 19/12/2019 21:01

You clearly don't believe him if it's coming up in arguments 8 years later. Hmm

Vgtasd · 19/12/2019 21:01

I kinda get where he is coming from, I look at adult work website some times but it's pure curiosity I'm not looking for anything at all

Zzzz19 · 19/12/2019 21:02

Pirate - women will always say this is not likely but it is possible so I wouldn’t rule it out.

Deadtome · 19/12/2019 21:17

Yes, not to be unkind but you would be foolish to believe him. Don’t make the same mistake I did. I wish I’d have been aware of sites like this or sought advice from someone and I might have saved myself years of being gaslighted, abused and basically left a shell of who I used to be.

isitpossibleto · 19/12/2019 21:22

Pull the other one. He’s a lying ratbag