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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Is this a bit weird

46 replies

Lou780 · 16/12/2019 05:42

Boyfriend worked with this girl for one summer. They only worked together a handful of times. She was sort of dating another colleague at the time. Girl goes off to Australia for a couple of months and her colleague dumps her. She is upset and messaged my boyfriend about this.
Now she is back and has messaged my boyfriend wanting him to go fishing with her..just the two of them.. fishing is his big big hobby..he loves it. She has never fished before but has told him she is interested and wants him to teach her!
This girl never socialized with the work colleagues before ..only ever with the man she was dating. Now she is single however?? Tell me straight please.

OP posts:
AllThreeWays · 16/12/2019 05:44

Yep she's after him.

Nicolastuffedone · 16/12/2019 05:47

Well, she’s fishing for something......

Original poster
Lou780 · 16/12/2019 05:51

Why can he not see this?

OP posts:
WhoDisNow · 16/12/2019 05:56

I’d guess that he can see but is either enjoying the attention or wants something to happen.

Either way it’s disrespectful and inappropriate imo.

WellErrr · 16/12/2019 05:58

Yes she’s after him. And of course he can see it.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 16/12/2019 06:00

She's after him. 100%.

Maybe he knows it's weird but is giving her the benefit of the doubt? Don't stand for it though. You know her game.

SleepingStandingUp · 16/12/2019 06:02

I bet she needs friends right now. You should totally go fishing too, ours the kind thing to do 🎣🐟😉😂

Original poster
Lou780 · 16/12/2019 06:05

What should I say to him?

OP posts:
GiveHerHellFromUs · 16/12/2019 06:07

Say to him "I'm not happy you going fishing with Doreen because she's more interested in your maggot than the fish".

Original poster
Lou780 · 16/12/2019 06:08

Ha ha..that's a good one! I might actually say that

OP posts:
xmmasx · 16/12/2019 06:26

Can you go too?

Original poster
Lou780 · 16/12/2019 06:26

He says I should trust him...I do not think that's the point though.

OP posts:
Beautiful3 · 16/12/2019 06:26

Go with them, say you're interested too!

Original poster
Lou780 · 16/12/2019 06:27

No chance iam going fishing. And why should I..I doubt that girl wants to fish either..it would just be a farce.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lou780 · 16/12/2019 06:28

He knows I wouldn't go fishing..I have a great fear of mice.lol

OP posts:
GiveHerHellFromUs · 16/12/2019 06:29

Ask him why he's so keen to spend time with her when they're not even friends.

Original poster
Lou780 · 16/12/2019 06:31

He would say they are friends. Even though he has worked with her a handful of times. Never socialized with her. But she has been messaging him a few times over her break up so he considers this "friend".

OP posts:
BillywilliamV · 16/12/2019 06:31

I would put my foot down on this one. I have been married 20 years and absolutely trust my DH but this is not the way people in a committed relationship behave.
Tell him he can go if he likes but not if he wants to come back to you afterwards!

Original poster
Lou780 · 16/12/2019 06:33

He is now worried what to say to her. He told her he can't go fishing this week because we are on holiday..(true we are) .but this just leaves her thinking he will be able to soon!

OP posts:
Morgan12 · 16/12/2019 06:34

Any Male friends?

I'd book something with my single Male friend and see how he reacts when the tables are turned.

Original poster
Lou780 · 16/12/2019 06:34

Iam so glad you all agree with me..I honestly thought you might get all say I was controlling and why shouldn't he have a friend who is a girl and go fishing with her.

OP posts:
Sarcelle · 16/12/2019 06:42

A lot of guys go fishing on their own and enjoy the solitary nature of it. He could say that he prefers to fish on his own.

ConfCall · 16/12/2019 09:13

She’ll get the message if he keeps saying that it’s inconvenient. She’ll try another tack in the meantime (drink, lunch) which obviously he needs to fend off too. She’s clearly keen and it would be wrong to lead her on.

hellsbellsmelons · 16/12/2019 09:52

He is now worried what to say to her
Easy 'This is not something I can do. It is overstepping a boundary and is not something I am prepared to do as it will jeapordise my wonderful relationship with Lou780. We can meet for a quick coffee some time after the new year but I'm really busy right now'
Job done - easy peasy!

OmniversalsTapdancingTadpole · 16/12/2019 09:57

Maybe she would find 'plenty of fish' a good spot Hmm

He is enjoying the attention from her. He is not behaving like someone already partnered.