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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why do men stare?

42 replies

sweetnsuga123 · 13/12/2019 17:19

I'm in my early 20s I've only had one relationship but my question is why do men stare? This man kept looking at me then looking away when I looked over when I was out yesterday.

It makes me self conscious and I don't know what to do when it happens!

OP posts:
NameChangeNugget · 13/12/2019 17:21

It could be any reason.

He could be in love with you or have funny eyes and could be looking elsewhere.

AnnieGlypta · 13/12/2019 17:23

Don't lose heart - it will take a few decades but there comes a time when it stops and they don't even give you a passing glance. Grin

blancheduboiss · 13/12/2019 17:24

I always just stare back with a total poker face if it happens to me

HarrietTheFly · 13/12/2019 17:24

Because they're perverts. Not all men etc

ihatethecold · 13/12/2019 17:26

This happens to my 16 year old daughter very often. She gets so uncomfortable.
Mostly middle aged men. It’s gross

inwood · 13/12/2019 17:30

Just stare back.

tiktok · 13/12/2019 17:35

It's a power thing. It makes women feel uncomfortable. We rarely confront this behaviour, so this sort of man is granted the power to make us squirm.

You have a choice to ignore completely, so he cannot be sure whether you have noticed or not, or to confront, if you feel it's safe to do so. 'Please don't keep staring at me - it's rude and I don't like it' said in a loud voice so others can hear is worth trying. I've done it and it works, and it embarrasses the starer.

BackforGood · 13/12/2019 17:37

If you mean why do some men stare, then, like some women staring, there could be any number of reasons - they have a social / communication difficulty that means they don't pick up social nuances that most folk have...... they could be deep in though and not actually notice that their eyes are fixed on anyone or anything...... it might be that they haven't got the right glasses with them and they are trying to peer at you as they think they might know you but can't make you out..... it might be you look really strange in some way and they are fascinated, and forget themselves for a moment ?

Mintjulia · 13/12/2019 18:16

His one brain cell got snagged on your bust or your bum and he won’t be capable of anything coherent until his head reboots.

Stare back. Don’t smile. You should be able to make him trip over his own feet Grin

thistimelastweek · 13/12/2019 18:22

Pretend not to notice. Then, wipe your nose flamboyantly on your sleeve.
Works every time

Kayleigh12 · 13/12/2019 18:26

@AnnieGlypta 😂 ain’t that the truth!

category12 · 13/12/2019 18:31

Crikey, that's a whole lot of ready-made apologia BackforGood's got there. Hmm

Feelingabitashamed · 13/12/2019 19:39

I am definitely trying the nose wiping trick!! Grin

BennyTheBall · 13/12/2019 19:43

Women stare too, ime.

DianaT1969 · 13/12/2019 20:16

I was in a gym once, and a large Eastern European man with tattoos, who wouldn't look out of place in a maximum security prison, was on a weights machine near me but constantly leering at a young woman on the stretch mat nearby. I shouted at him "Oy! Eyes front!" He looked completely taken aback. Stopped looking at her though. Being middle-aged has given me the confidence to say anything I want. I'm going to be a nightmare when I'm in my eighties 😁

ChristmasSpirtsOnTheRocksPleas · 13/12/2019 20:19

Bad manners.

ChristmasSpirtsOnTheRocksPleas · 13/12/2019 20:20

@DianaT1969 Star

managedmis · 13/12/2019 20:21

Pretend not to notice. Then, wipe your nose flamboyantly on your sleeve.
Works every time

^

Hahah

managedmis · 13/12/2019 20:23

If you fancy him stare back and smile. If you don't slowly give him the (middle) finger

Hurdygurdy24 · 13/12/2019 20:25

It's a power thing. It makes women feel uncomfortable. We rarely confront this behaviour, so this sort of man is granted the power to make us squirm.

What a load of shit !

You don’t think some women stare at men they are attracted to in the same way as some men stare at women they think are attractive?

It’s because they are gawping. Men do it and women do it. A gay man might do it towards another gay man and a gay woman might do it to another woman.

Cacklingmags · 13/12/2019 20:36

They have penises in their eyes - most uncomfortable. A mate of mine many years ago, when stared at in the pub, used to take one of those old fashioned paper straws and fold it zig zaggy very very small, pop it into her nostril and slowly draw it out into one long straw staring at the staring guy - they sure did look away. We used to wee ourselves.

BackforGood · 13/12/2019 20:38

Category12 - the OP asked for reasons, so that's what I gave.

elizalovelace · 13/12/2019 20:38

Maybe you remind him of someone he knows/knew. Or maybe you are so absolutely gorgeous he couldn't drag his eyes away. Who knows, women look at others too, it's called people watching I believe.

Savingforarainyday · 13/12/2019 20:40

They stare because you have boobies, and they , themselves are tits

shitpark · 13/12/2019 20:50

Because he fancies you, no other reason really. He likes you and wants to look at you, but looks away when you notice because he wants to hide that he's watching you. Just walk away if you're not interested. If you stare at him, he might think you like him. I made that mistake once, and the man wouldn't leave me alone. He became a bit stalkery