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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I forgive him?

40 replies

Jolo77 · 11/12/2019 20:04

I have just found out that my boyfriend of 3 years has been meeting up with a girl from his work, they have kissed several times and they had arranged to meet up to hook up. When I confronted him about the messages, he said he would of never gone through with it, should I forgive him?

OP posts:
WanderingLost167 · 11/12/2019 20:06

No.

PlasticPatty · 11/12/2019 20:06

Certainly not. Get rid.

JazzyJelly · 11/12/2019 20:06

Absolutely not. I'm sure your head is spinning OP, but you deserve more than constantly checking up on him, questioning him, fearing where he is and who he's with.

thistimelastweek · 11/12/2019 20:15

Why ask strangers? What answer do you best hope to receive?

Are you happy with his alibi? Anything less than full on sex isn't cheating?

It's your call but if you overlook it this time, he might just see it as permission for next time.

Windmillwhirl · 11/12/2019 20:19

You deserve better, much better.

Newmumma83 · 11/12/2019 20:20

What do you think?

Dery · 11/12/2019 20:44

Well, it’s bad, isn’t it. He’s two-timing you. Cut him loose and move on. You deserve better than that.

MitziK · 11/12/2019 20:50

God, no.

Get shot now.

TheSandman · 11/12/2019 20:58

I have just found out that my boyfriend of 3 years has been meeting up with a girl from his work, they have kissed several times and they had arranged to meet up to hook up. When I confronted him about the messages, he said he would of never gone through with it, should I forgive him?

By 'hook up' do you mean fuck?

The 'never going through with it' line - he may mean it, but I guess he would have if she had been willing. At what point was he planning on baling out? "Nice lingerie - love the stockings but I've got to shove this back in my pants and go home". Yeah. Right.

Yes, you could forgive him - but he's got a shitload of work to do to earn it. Should you? Only you know that.

Heartofglass12345 · 11/12/2019 21:00

No no no no NO!!

Tryingtobepositive2020 · 11/12/2019 21:01

Absolutely not. He is only saying this because you found out. Please respect yourself and walk away OP Flowers

AnneLovesGilbert · 11/12/2019 21:05

Does he think you’re stupid?

MummaOf2Nearly3 · 11/12/2019 21:07

You deserve better! At least you found out sooner rather than later. Whatever decision you make will be the right one for you.

category12 · 11/12/2019 21:07

If you're happy with someone who is planning to cheat on you, then yeah, stay with him. It'll be great. For him.

AlwaysCheddar · 11/12/2019 21:19

Nope.

Elieza · 11/12/2019 21:20

He’s lying. If he’s doing shit like that behind your back already it doesn’t bode well. Dump and move on. He clearly isn’t getting something he needs from your relationship and is looking elsewhere. Perhaps it’s the thrill of the chase. Who knows. Dump. Sorry OP

mamato3lads · 11/12/2019 21:20

Of course not, unless a cheating partner is your thing

Sparklyring · 11/12/2019 21:30

Nope

highlyunreasonable · 11/12/2019 21:51

Erm no. What a sleaze

You deserve better, get rid

RLEOM · 12/12/2019 00:07

Nope. He'll do it again.

MsDogLady · 12/12/2019 04:29

Why would you stay with this cheating loser who has been making a fool of you?

GiveHerHellFromUs · 12/12/2019 04:33

"I would never have gone through with it" could've maybe possibly potentially been the slightest bit believable if it wasn't already physical, but it is.

Only you know where your boundaries lie but I'd be gone.

user1483387154 · 12/12/2019 04:57

I wouldn't

Pinkbonbon · 12/12/2019 04:59

Nah.
If he snogged her drunk one night at the Christmas party, maybe.

But he's having an ongoing affair with her. Actively planning to cheat more so no remorse. Sack that.

Not fixable. Get shot.

Zapitalism · 12/12/2019 06:07

No.
Surely you don't need to ask this?