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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Who has found true love & partner after 30 and/or divorce?

51 replies

Salemss1 · 10/12/2019 02:56

I'm 30 and currently separated from husband for 6 months. Completely blindsided when he asked for a separation - we were discussing trying to conceive the week before. Needless to say, I am devastated.

I know I am young and that plenty of women marry after 30 and beyond. Love will always come back around. But right now I need some solidarity from someone who has been in my shoes. Please share your story.

OP posts:
alltheprosecco84 · 10/12/2019 03:02

Hello lovely.
I met my husband at 32.
True we are separated now, but these happen as you know!
30 is so young but I know how devastating it can be. How long were you married?

Honeybee85 · 10/12/2019 03:04

I seperated from my ex 2 weeks after turning 30.
Had a couple years of short relationships and a lot of tinderfun.

Married my now husband last year and we had a beautiful babyboy this summer.

Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.

Salemss1 · 10/12/2019 03:10

We have been married 2 years but together for 6. We met at 24. I thought I had gotten lucky to find a soulmate so young.

OP posts:
Salemss1 · 10/12/2019 03:11

@Honeybee85 How lovely! How old were you when you met your husband and how?

Congrats on your baby boy!

OP posts:
Honeybee85 · 10/12/2019 03:16

Thank you very much!

I was 32! We met online, after a few months he came to meet me in person (I lived in Europe and he in Asia). We had this immediate connection in real life and got married pretty fast after that.

StillLearningDad · 10/12/2019 04:49

My wife was married before in her 20s and divorced at 30. We met online when she was 32 (I had come out of a long-term relationship the year before.) Together 9 years now with 2 kids. I know plenty of other couples who got together in their 30s too.

bert3400 · 10/12/2019 04:55

I met my DH at 31, I was divorced from my first husband with 2 DC. It wasn't meant to be serious, there is quite a big age gap, he's 11years younger. But when works it works . 21 years and two DC later, we are still incredibly happy .
30 is still so young - go enjoy your life and you never know who you might meet Grin

ncqtime · 10/12/2019 05:38

My exh and I had been trying to buy a house about a week before he left. A lot of wine and a good fuck buddy later I met dp on a night out. I was 32. We're now expecting dc2 together.

Ginandplatonic · 10/12/2019 05:42

Met my husband at 36, when I'd been the only person in my friendship group not married with children for a couple of years and had despaired of finding anyone. Had first child at 38, 4th child at 43. Youngest now 14 and we are still happily together. That may be an extreme example...Grin

Bluebell9 · 10/12/2019 05:55

I met DP when I was 31. 4 years later we're planning the wedding and I have 6 week old DD.

MsRomanoff · 10/12/2019 06:18

I worked with someone when I was 18 I thought he was hot but sisnt really speak to him. I was also with my future husband.

We divorced when I was 34. After we split up, my friends took me on a night out where I met hee brother who had just moved back to the area after his marriage broke down.

Turned out thw brother was the hot guy I worked with when I was 18. 6 months later we got together and we are very happy. Have been together 3 years now

FluffyPJs · 10/12/2019 06:34

I was 30 and recently divorced when I met my now husband. That was 16 years ago, and we have a 13 year old son. 30 does seem so young to me now! At the time I thought I'd wasted the best part of my life, my whole 20s, on the wrong man, but then I got to spend my 30s and so far most of my 40s with the right man, and we are going from strength to strength, planning our retirement together.

booboo24 · 10/12/2019 06:46

I met my now ex husband at school, and married him at 21. We seperated when I was 36, and after a couple of years of being single I met my fiance, we've been together 4 and a half years now, you will be fine

kitk · 10/12/2019 06:47

Met DP at 31 after a long term relationship in my 20s resulting in a baby. I'm sorry OP. I think it's nearly universally true that you have more confidence, self worth and know what you want in your 30s though. You will find someone amazing. Just five yourself time to grieve your marriage first

ErnestJones · 10/12/2019 06:49

I divorced at 34, started dating someone a year later, remarried at 37, had another baby at 41 and tomorrow we celebrate 19 years together of a blissful relationship. Not all of it has been easy. Life has thrown us massive curve balls and 2019 has been very hard on both of us but we have a deep love and respect for one another. I think that as you grow older you know what you want, what you don’t want, and how much sh*t you’re prepared to put up from someone.

30 is still a baby!

chuffoff · 10/12/2019 06:50

Met DP at 38 after my marriage break up. Now nearly 41 and 8 months pregnant

Clutterbugsmum · 10/12/2019 06:53

Met my DH 2 weeks before my 30th, engaged after 6 weeks, got married 18 months later and have now been married for 18 years. Have a 15, 12 and a 10 year old.

My brother was married and divorce twice by the time he was 30. He has been married to his 3rd wife for 20 years.

PermanentTemporary · 10/12/2019 06:57

Met Dh at 33, pregnant at 34, married at 35.

The truth is that dh was probably the loveliest man I will ever meet, gentle, caring, clever and unfailingly loyal. But he was also very ill and our marriage was not at all easy. Take your time and don't rush. 30 is young.

OllyBJolly · 10/12/2019 07:01

Divorced at 31, met DH at 44, married at 51. Couldn't imagine meeting anyone more caring and he makes me laugh every single day.

Jayneisapain · 10/12/2019 07:17

Met DP at 34 and had DD at 35 and getting married at 37. You've got loads of time. Dont rush it and enjoy the single time you have.

Fishcakey · 10/12/2019 07:21

Met now husband at 35, three years after my divorce. I wasn't looking so it was a nice surprise.

MrsPeakyBlinders · 10/12/2019 07:27

I wasn't even married at 30 . Shock

tinselvestsparklepants · 10/12/2019 07:33

Met him at 32, married him at 35. He was 40. First time for both of us - we'd both had long term relationships though. When we met we just KNEW it was right- probably because we were old enough to know ourselves. 10 very very happy years so far.

boredboredboredboredbored · 10/12/2019 07:34

Divorced at 38 with 2 teenagers. Met dp online when I was 40, getting married in 7 weeks time at 42. I'm so so much happier now Smile

cuntsgaloreonhere · 10/12/2019 07:45

I met my exh at 18 and we split when I was 31. I knew it wasn't right but half the problem was I was scared to start again as I had never really dated etc.
One day he attacked me during an argument and we both knew it had to end. He immediately met someone else online.

I spent about 2 years or so meeting completely unsuitable people online then being upset when it ended. When you start to look for someone do not settle! I think I felt I wouldn't ever meet someone who would fit what I wanted so I had to just accept they would have flaws.

Almost 2yrs ago I met my perfect match because I set up a quick dating profile and forgot to change the age range. I didn't want anyone under 30 and he was 28. He's absolutely wonderful and I never thought i'd meet anyone who fits every one of my extremely long list of expectations in a partner. We're currently expecting our first child and I definitely wouldn't have predicted this is where I would be within 4yrs of divorcing.

As @FluffyPJs mentioned above, I also thought I'd wasted my good years on the wrong person but if I hadn't I doubt I'd have met my DP when I did.