anyone need a break uo support thread???

[neverdoingthatagain100]

Hi I'm not long out of a VERY complicated 5 year relationship. (30 days)
Ex was EA and very very difficult and toxic. I know I am better out of it, but the pain is immense.
For various reasons I can not talk about this in RL, and I just wondered if anyone else needed somewhere to vent especially with christmas around the corner.
Forgive me if there is already a thread like this on the go, I did search but didn't find anything.

Yes like you said @yesterdaystotalsteps123 about control, it's good to get some back at last!

I have the ebook of 'Why does he do that' and agree, it's very useful.

@neverdoingthatagain100 Hi, we were together about 14 months. So not all that long but it was across a time of my life where I/my life changed a lot, so it felt very much as if he was my world and the catalyst for my life getting better. Thus when it ended it felt as though everything was over and my life has been getting steadily worse since

I know it's a cliché but you are young and you have everything to live for (even if it doesn't feel like it right now)
Do you think your ex was perfect for you and there will never be another one like them?
Have you got any support in rl?

Yes that’s true I suppose and I know he wasn’t perfect for me but he was very unique and what we had was so different and special, and I genuinely can’t imagine anybody else being good enough - as stupid as that sounds. I know that’s not true. And yes sort of but I don’t really like talking about it much, people assumed I moved on a long time ago :/
To be honest just venting on here to a stranger has already helped massively

Hi, no it doesn't sound stupid at all, relationships are so subtle. In all my life I have never found anyone who can kiss like my ex. How does he do that? If he did it now i would melt. I've tried with other men I'm attracted to, but never the same connection. I've just accepted that is the way it is. My ex is a complete user though and not a very nice person so I am beginning to genuinely feel I'm better off without him.
I think also it takes ages to 'get over' someone anyway, it maybe you are thinking about your ex and it's sad, then one day you think about them and it's ok. That's the healing process I suppose.
if your ex has been important to you in some way you are bound to keep a memory of them tucked away iyswim, that's so normal.
At least you know he was not perfect for you!
I also have no one to talk to in rl so posting here is a big help to me too.

How are we all doing tonight? I'm struggling a bit with all the Christmas stuff going on, I've never been single at Christmas before. Trying to focus on work, but that will be over next week. 2 weeks off! Seemed brilliant when I booked it, dreading it now.

My husband just left me for a woman half his age. Leaving me with 2 young DC. Just trying to get through Xmas without totally breaking down. So I get where you are all coming from. It's hard.

Hi @Apricot10
Really really sorry to hear your situation. I'm sending you a handhold!

Two weeks off sounds brilliant @JazzyJelly are there any things you've got planned? I know it's very hard at Christmas 🎄

Morning everyone. I struggled last night but feel a bit better this morning. What's really hard is after a while your mind just wants to remember the good qualities, I don't know if it's s self preservation thing. Because trying to understand how someone you thought loved you could actually not is so painful. Luckily when I reached out to friends in RL they reminded me that he will never feel what I do, never understand his responsibility and never change! Like you said, the mask slips and that is the callous piece of work they are underneath the veneer of DH. So sad.

Im still struggling massively. 25 years of my life i dont have anything that isn't associated to him in some way. Plus we have 3 dc so im still connected.
His mother phoned me last night to talk xmas and i heard him in the background talking about a new shirt he's bought. . I instigated it , i wanted this separation but like you all i can remember is the good stuff. I have to keep forcing myself to remember other things and then i panic I've done the wrong thing.

This is so hard. My whole adult life is him.

@Winona45 I hope you are ok. Have you any support in rl? Of course you've done the right thing, you can have many happy years without your ex. There is a good reason why you split. Make a list of the reasons and remember the times you felt crappy. As you say it's so difficult for you to get a clean break. Have you had any counselling to help you?

@yesterdaystotalsteps123 i feel a bit like you. I remember the good times and feel so sad. If only ex had made a bit more effort, been more respectful etc... everything could have been perfect. But he's never going to be like that and I have seen his true face and I can't unsee it. I have to remember that and it does help me feel that I've escaped. But I still miss the ex! Despite all that.

I still can't believe that he's so lovely on the surface but yet so disrespectful towards women deep down urgghh