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Original poster

Tell me I'm not going mad

51 replies

onemoresmartie · 09/12/2019 15:36

Met someone on a dating website last week, we arranged to meet for a drink he was really keen and brought me flowers which I thought was lovely for a first date
We arranged to meet up again and I went to his home town which is about 30 min drive away from my house, nothing was said about staying over but I had too much to drink to then drive home so I stayed over at his apartment

Basically his back ground is that he hasn't moved to the area for very long and does contract work, has a house up north that he keeps and he was there this weekend visiting his daughter

I have a sneaking gut feeling that he has a wife/partner up there and now I feel like a fool.
His contact has been minimal all weekend and I haven't heard from him at all today

We were supposed to meet up again yesterday but he said he had to stay an extra night

Do I run a mile or send me a message to ask him wtf is going on

He seemed really genuine and keen and we got on really well, says on his profile that he isn't after a casual fling Hmm

OP posts:
Wallywobbles · 09/12/2019 19:43

I always think best to meet them ASAP so you know if you're being sold a crock or not, and you don't build them up in your head. And pretty much the same about sex. But let them make the running all the way.

Original poster
onemoresmartie · 09/12/2019 19:43

Yea I always meet for a drink/coffee....an hour date within a couple of days otherwise you do over invest and waste a lot of time but we really did hit it off and he seemed really keen

OP posts:
Original poster
onemoresmartie · 10/12/2019 14:03

So I caved this morning and sent him a message saying hope your okay you've gone a bit quiet on me

He has just replied saying hey all good had some crap with his daughter how are you

🤨

I have typed a response saying

I’m just gunna be honest, something feels a bit off so I’ll leave you to it. Hope all gets sorted with your daughter and maybe don’t give off the idea your not looking for a casual fling then fuck people about.

I have stopped myself sending it though

I need to chill don't I? 😟

OP posts:
LauraLooDerby · 10/12/2019 15:36

Yes! Chill!

Delete the response, and be breezy, if you want - 'I'm fine thanks, been up to xyz and looking forward to abc this weekend. Hope all is sorted with your DD!'

I mean if not, then send the response but that will 100% draw a line under it. Up to you if you want that!

bangheadhere40 · 10/12/2019 15:44

That's the type of thing I would sent, but please don't send that! The best advice has been given...

I am in a similar situation, but I'm trying to be strong too x

Hollachica · 10/12/2019 15:55

Chill, he sounds nice, give it a chance.

Pinkbonbon · 10/12/2019 16:06

I wouldn't send that. Give it a bit of time n see what happens.

As long as he wasn't being 'off' with you cause while you were drunk at his you got up at 3am and pissed in his airing cupboard xD

afterme · 10/12/2019 16:16

Well you broke the ice so see what he does next.

Bluntness100 · 10/12/2019 16:28

Jeez don't send that it screams desperate bat shit stalker. 😳

Whyjustwhy23 · 10/12/2019 16:35

Noooooo.

There is every chance he’s just going to ghost but don’t give him the satisfaction of feeling he was right to do so as you go batshit. Seriously. Just send something breezy then DELETE HIS NUMBER.

Dontsayyouloveme · 10/12/2019 16:51

A lot of Men will tell women anything in order to get sex. When they’ve had it, more often than not, they lose interest!

30to50FeralHogs · 10/12/2019 16:56

Don’t send that! Just send a breezy “all good thanks” and then step away from the phone.

If you like him you need to chill as you’ve already shown you’re keen. Give him a chance to do the same!

lifeisgoodagain · 10/12/2019 16:59

Trust your gut,this happened to me (not the getting drunk and staying over bit) but completely going silent after being so chatty etc. Keep looking for mr right, he is out there.

Ps the paid for sites are better in my experience, well I'm no longer in need of old so it did work!

xChristmasJumperx · 10/12/2019 17:14

I wouldn't rule out sending that text, but for now, just reply ''all good thanks''.

Don't give away anything, I think your instinct is right. This guy is not a keeper. He knows you're on to him now. Be very cautious.

FatBlobbyBob · 10/12/2019 17:18

Dont send the message. Just ignore him.

Was there much in the flat? Could it be an airbnb?

Original poster
onemoresmartie · 10/12/2019 17:41

So I sent a message saying

I feel like you've been different since Friday it's fine if your not feeling it anymore but just be honest as I don't wanna waste my time

He replied hours later saying sorry been really busy today, he's having problems with his daughter so he has to go back up home this weekend so he is struggling to find the time before Christmas but I am spot on, he doesn't want to mess me about and he hopes I had a good day

😕 I need to leave it there don't I? Do I just leave him on read now or reply saying no worries have a good Christmas?

OP posts:
Original poster
onemoresmartie · 10/12/2019 17:42

Not much in the flat at all just his belongings in suitcases on top of the wardrobe and he hadn't been there long only a matter of weeks

All very odd

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 10/12/2019 17:48

For the love of god, block and delete op,

FatBlobbyBob · 10/12/2019 17:51

Have a look at airbnbs in the area, I expect its on there.

Original poster
onemoresmartie · 10/12/2019 18:22

Another one bites the dust

OP posts:
managedmis · 10/12/2019 18:45

He's wed

Original poster
onemoresmartie · 10/12/2019 18:46

That's what I'm starting to think but guess I'll never know....

OP posts:
managedmis · 10/12/2019 18:46

Yes, forget him

Lifeinaplasticbox · 12/12/2019 18:57

I think you’ve probably frightened him off with your overeagerness. Two dates and you are asking him if he’s not feeling it anymore.
Seriously op calm down.

Original poster
onemoresmartie · 12/12/2019 22:35

I'm just not into games and I'm an all in or all out kind of person
He was really keen and full on in the beginning....if they can't be consistent don't bother

OP posts:
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