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Original poster

Why would he???

73 replies

Minimaa · 06/12/2019 23:13

Husband of 10 years went on a lads trip to Dubai last week. Our phones are linked so I can see his search history. Whilst he was away he twice searched for morning after pill. He also searched for a viagra substitute. And obviously found one, and shared the details with a friend. Am dying inside. This is not right isn’t it. Moved to a new town about 5 months ago and don’t have family or friends near to discuss this with. Am slowly going mad.

OP posts:
Branster · 07/12/2019 01:06

I had to google this search history sharing business as I didn’t even know it existed! Apparently it happens when you share the same iCloud account.
If he’s aware you have this facility (which I hope he is otherwise all this is way too weird), then the first thing he’d google would be ‘how to stop sharing search history’ before searching for anything he’s not supposed to.
What was the local time of this search? Could he have lent his phone to a friend?
I cannot imagine a man ever trying to look for information about the morning after pill.
Just ask him, you’ll know by his reaction if he’s telling the truth.

snowybaubles · 07/12/2019 01:08

I can't understand how your searches are linked.

snowybaubles · 07/12/2019 01:09

Oh by iCloud!

I just spent a good while looking through my phone trying to work out how it happens

plantingandpotting · 07/12/2019 01:17

When does he get back OP?
Can completely understand why you're spiraling.
If you ask him outright as soon as he's back, he'll hopefully have no time to fabricate an excuse.

Sorry you're going through this Flowers

VaggieMight · 07/12/2019 01:26

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at poster's request.

SexlessBoulderBelly · 07/12/2019 01:35

You can’t actually get MAP in Dubai though Confused

Onemansoapopera · 07/12/2019 01:38

Curiouser and curiouser Confused

cheesemongery · 07/12/2019 01:43

I too was wondering about being able to get MAP in Dubai - it's not known for it's relaxed attitudes towards casual sex.

Also any time I've needed it (all those years ago) I'm sure it was the last thing on the male participants mind.

morriseysquif · 07/12/2019 01:44

Isn't sex outside of marriage illegal in Dubai? Have him arrested.

GeorgiaGirl52 · 07/12/2019 01:52

Don't bbelieve what he says. Insist he get tested and Do Not sleep with him until he does. Or you could leave and take your child. Your choice.

Savingshoes · 07/12/2019 01:54

I Google crap loads for other ppl, then show them on my phone.
I also forward searches to friends too, especially after a few glasses of wine and a chat about stupid stuff.
My partner does this loads as well.
Why you assume that he's up to no good other than using his phone (friend doesn't have Wi-Fi code at the time? He had his phone out 1st? Etc) to help a friend/search something random is such a shame.
What is weird is allowing an eleven year old to be able to view either of your history.

VenusTiger · 07/12/2019 01:55

Well, is his mate married? Is his phone connected to his partner’s phone? If so, he asked your DH to search for stuff for him. Surely your DH knows you all have access to this information, so why would he blatantly do it? Hmm

wheresmymojo · 07/12/2019 02:31

Honestly I don't think this is a 'definitely no other explanation' case.

I google all sorts of things just because they come up in conversation or in something I'm reading (book, article, podcast). If it's something I don't know much about I'll google it and look it up.

I suspect my search history is littered with things that would look very odd / suspicious / etc.

The viagra sub was shared with a friend - so it could just be that they were having some banter or gossip about another friend taking it and he looked it up.

In all the times I've needed the MAP I've never once had the man suggest it or get it for me. It wouldn't be available in Dubai I wouldn't have thought anyway.

I'm not saying it's nothing, but it's entirely possible there's a legitimate reason.

I would personally be keeping schtum but then following up with checks of his phone on return, etc.

wheresmymojo · 07/12/2019 02:41

As an example I've just scrolled through my search history and the following are on there that would make my DH think 'WTF?'

  • Laws around prostitution in the UK
  • Agent Provocateur negligee (I don't wear anything like this)
  • Repressed memories of sexual trauma/abuse

Because:

  • I researched laws around legal ages for prostitution in the UK when responding to a comment on MN about Prince Andrew
  • I bought AP negligee about 10 years ago (before DH) for ££££, never wore it and wanted to look up photos to use to sell it on eBay
  • Repressed sexual abuse memories are related to something a friend is going through
Sadiesnakes · 07/12/2019 04:29

😂 More crap input from @MMmomDD.

Op, how dare you see the shared safari history of your dh searching up sex drugs and MAP protection whilst he's away on his jolly. Everyone deserves their privacy to cheat, didn't you know? Hmm

HypatiaCade · 07/12/2019 04:46

Mumsnet alone has been responsible for some search history that would put me in some very awkward situations if I were to have to account for it!!!

HermioneMakepeace · 07/12/2019 05:00

Where do you see someone else search history?

PS: Both Viagra and MAP are banned in Dubai.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 07/12/2019 05:15

The theory that if his friends phone is linked your H may have searched so his friend didn't get caught does sort of make sense.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 07/12/2019 06:21

You know what - maybe he was having a conversation with his mate and they wanted to know if those things were available in Dubai.

Is Viagra really banned in Dubai? That surprises me. I was of the impression that one of the very few reasons women can file for divorce over there was failure of her husband to perform. Or maybe I dreamt that.

OP - are you completely sure your dh is in Dubai?

GiveHerHellFromUs · 07/12/2019 09:40

Don't you think it'd be a bit extravagant to say he's going to the F1 Grand Prix in Dubai (given the amount of money it'd entail) if he was really shacking up with Sandra from work in the Travelodge in the next town?

fligglepige · 07/12/2019 10:47

It actually sounds much more likely that they've been talking about what's banned in Dubai and then googling it. I remember googling viagra when I saw an advert that you get it over the counter now. No reason why, don't need to buy it, I was just curious.

1Wildheartsease · 07/12/2019 11:54

Does he not know that your search histories are linked?

Surely he'd never search for something dodgy in a place that you AND his child can see?

Do you have other grounds for suspicion?

There are other possibilities... including childish pranking from other members of the party when they have access to his phone.

notapizzaeater · 07/12/2019 12:04

Have you checked anything else on his phone ? How's he been since he's been home ?

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