Any argument DH uses this against Me.

[iwannagowherethepeoplego]

DH doesn't help around the House, or with the DCs either. Granted he works 5 days a week and I only work 3, but my days are full on with a Toddler and I'm also currently 4 Months pregnant. I do everything in the House and for the DC, no exaggeration when I say everything.
Tonight I asked if he could help around the House more (at all!) and was met with the usual tirade of verbal abuse, but the same phrase came up that he has thrown at me since DC was born "Well you could work full time and I'll stay at home having fun with DC instead"
He earns double what I would but therefore feels that makes him entitled to be spiteful anytime I ask for a little support, if we were to switch 'roles' as such we would barely be able to afford our Mortgage let alone any other outgoings.
Feeling so down and fed up, reading back what I've written I know how much of an idiot I sound but all I genuinely asked for was a little help around the House occasionally, and now I'm in tears alone upstairs after being shouted at.. Should never has asked. Meh!

He has no respect for you. Was the second DC planned?

A healthy relationship should be a partnership, not one person doing all the shit-work and the other having a tantrum every time they are asked to act like an adult.

I couldn’t stand to be with a man like that.

Up your hours, go back to full time, make him do half.

On a side note what made you believe he was good to procreate with when he's this much of a knob?

What @TimeforanotherChange said was perfect.

Imo any time you are both there is should be 50/50 house and kids work.

I would not bother trying to justify as he doesn't want to genuinely understand.

Did he ever do housework? I would honestly think of returning to work full time as this man is showing you and telling you he doesn't respect you. Money equals power to him which is usually an ingrained ahought pattern.

What are his parents like?

Don’t accept him talking to you like that. How dare he? He’s disgusting.
Stand up for yourself and tell him he’s a spiteful disgusting human being. or get rid of him.

You don't sound like an idiot at all and I don't know why you think you would. He is being lazy not doing anything. It's not a case of helping you, it's being a parent, taking part in his dc's lives and upping his game. It's very hard work, we all know that, but he I just opting out. The fact that he earns more than you does not make him superior.

He sounds like a twat.

Off the back of being unwell and having been on a two week business trip, DH once made the mistake of asking why I was asking him to do a job at home when I had been at home all day and ‘could have done it myself’. The following morning I got up, dressed and announced I was going out with a friend for shopping and drinks. Left him with 4 month old teething DC and a list of household jobs to do.

Stayed at my mum’s, came back the following day. One job had been done because he had been tied up with DC all day.

He’s never made a similar comment and has in fact started doing more as he realises just how demanding being at home can be. I suggest you do something similar.

Oops, you married a misogynist. You can't turn him into not one, sorry

Tell him great, his interview for the job is tomorrow

Then leave him a list of jobs and go it for the entire day, swan in about 7pm and ask what's for dinner?

Call his bluff! And mean it!!
Do loud online job searches."Ooh I'd earn more than you at xyz."
Make a great big rota, 7 days, with his chores marked up. Bottles, sterilising, washing, all the meals, shopping, ironing, hoovering, baby's naps etc etc
Look online(loudly) for 'work clothes.' Order a blouse.......
Buy a big 2020 diary, for writing in when you are going back to work full time. Give him a countdown. "40 weeks until you a SAHD."
Start telling him about which dc will eat this food but not that food.
If he so much as mutters against the idea, tell him "He will soon get the hang of being a full time Dad. The first 500 nappies are the hardest."
Tell him you are so looking forward to having the evenings and weekends off.

Tell him to expect a phone call from your shit hot divorce attorney next week and he'll be Mr Mom EOW so Mr BigJobLittleDick can crack on and learn how a house doesn't run itself

Yeh men like this dont change im afraid. Hes a full on sexist misogynist twat, only way round this is to leave.

You wont tho.

I know how you feel. When asking my husband (baby four months old) if he could hoover the dining room before our dinner guests arrived he said ……..I don't keep a dog …….. turned and walked out of the room! Horrid little man.

Wow. If a man ever spoke to me like that he'd be out the door quicker than his feet could touch the ground! Unreal to me what some women put up with

Why do you put up with this? You didn’t agree to be a slave. He’s responsible for his own mess. This is no way to live. It’s disgusting. My DH works full time and he does his own washing and puts bin out, does bedtimes and makes me tea/coffees. He’s an adult. You are not an employee. If you left him, you’d get every other weekend off and he’d have to look after himself

Nothing new or original. My ex husband used to throw that one at me continually when I was at home with our baby - I was 23 with low earning capacity and he was 37 and earning good money so even financially, it wouldn’t have made sense. God he was such a wanker. Your man will never change.

I'd just stop doing stuff for him...like laundry, meals etc.

I'd also say that doing everything around the house on your own is exhausting and his refusal to participate puts you off wanting to be close to him.

If he is happy to see you run ragged....how much does he really care about you.

When men behave like this it builds resentment... and that doesn't bode well long term.

Well lets see, he must have been a better person 5 months ago or you would never have got pregnant again by him and put yourself further at his mercy so, what's changed? Or has he always been like this and if so, why are you expecting him to be different??

Or in other words - he's not going to change, so you have to change the situation - go back to work full time or split otherwise this is how it will be, always.

OP - sounds like a very unhelpful partner - especially if you have to go through stuff like morning sickness, coping with pregnancy in addition to a toddler on top of household chores. Are there any relatives close by who can look after the toddler for a bit so you can get a break?

Get rid, because men who think that women are service appliances they can stick their dicks in will never change. Does yours whine that you don't open your legs enough, or aren't sufficiently enthusiastic about ses, too?

Get a full time job. Use your earnings to pay for a cleaner, afterschool care, a nanny, and a dog-walker. Maybe a gardener too? If you don't make enough money use some of his. When you come in from work order a take away and sit down and watch tv. Do what he did. Nothing. He will be begging you to be SAHM again.

Retrain/night school etc and go back to work full time by the time your child is in school.
You can then return the comment, especially if you go onto have another child together.

How much did he do at home before DC and you going part time?

I'd come back fro mwork and tell him you've been speaking to them about going part time so can he clarify with work which two days he's going to drop to have the kids and to clarify thst this means he'll be taking in all the household chores.