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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Tonight's the end...

51 replies

lovemenomore · 05/12/2019 01:43

I've not got much battery left as glee with no charger but I've left with my DD tonight after he attacked me and bruised me and pushed my head into wall amongst other things. He's 99% emotionally abusive but tonight physical in front of DD.

I've got nothing but we are safe and it's the beginning of a happier time for us I hope.

How do I do this?

OP posts:
Original poster
lovemenomore · 05/12/2019 01:44

Fled not glee

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 05/12/2019 01:46

You need to call the police to report this assault, and you never, ever let him come back.

curlykaren · 05/12/2019 02:09

Yes, police report. Take care.

MsDogLady · 05/12/2019 02:16

I admire your courage, OP.

Report the abuse, stay safe, and do not allow him to manipulate you into returning. This is the greatest gift you could ever give your daughter.

Do you have any support?

Todayisontheup · 05/12/2019 02:40

Are you okay @lovemenomore?

I am glad you are safe. Take one step at a time, and you can rebuild a new life you and your daughter.

Do you have any friends or family you can call over the coming days for support? As other's have said, please call the police and also Women's Aid tomorrow.

I am here if you need to talk.

Bluerussian · 05/12/2019 05:39

I'm so glad you're safe, good for you for leaving.

Contact the police about the assault and women's aid for advice on how to proceed; you may be entitled to keep your home and he will have to leave, with a restraining order. Do try and get your ducks in a row quickly, especially finances.

In the mentime you need to fetch some essentials from your house, take a friend or relative with you when you go to collect or do it when the man is at work.

Good luck and well done for getting away.

category12 · 05/12/2019 06:13

Well done for leaving. Sorry this happened. Flowers

Speak to Women's Aid for some support. Consider going to the police. (It would be helpful in terms of getting legal aid if you're married if there's police records of abuse).

Where are you staying?

Thatnameistaken · 05/12/2019 06:30

My mum fled with me and my brother when I was a baby, it turned out to be the best thing she could have ever done for us. My dad's second wife had a lifetime of abuse from the bastard. Well done for having the guts to do it, please don't go back.

Thatnameistaken · 05/12/2019 06:39

And as others have said, please tell the police, it's vital that this is logged.

Original poster
lovemenomore · 05/12/2019 08:03

Thanks for all the replies - I should say I've name changed as he knew my previous one (one of the many things he did was keep tabs on what I did online)

I'm at my parents they collected us last night - not the first time sadly.

I will be going to police today - have bruises and texts to prove what he did. I did retaliate at one point as he slammed me into wall so had to get away and I cut him with my nail so I'm scared I will get into trouble for that?

Luckily house is texted in his name and deprecate accounts.

OP posts:
Original poster
lovemenomore · 05/12/2019 08:04

House is rented and separate accounts*

OP posts:
Ginger1982 · 05/12/2019 08:08

"I did retaliate at one point as he slammed me into wall so had to get away and I cut him with my nail so I'm scared I will get into trouble for that?"

Self defence. Don't sweat it.

hellsbellsmelons · 05/12/2019 08:51

How do I do this?
Don't question yourself.
You HAVE done it.
You got out.
You are protecting yourself and your DD.
You are going to the police today.
Make a full statement and press charges.
And a nail scratch after he pushed your head into a wall is nothing.
It's self-defence. That is obvious so don't worry about that.
Well done OP!
Time now for you and your DD to have an abuse free life.
Are your parents supportive?
Get some love and support from them and take it one step at a time.
You have no ties to him other than DD so that's a good thing.
Look after yourself!!!!

notthemum · 05/12/2019 09:04

Well done for getting out. You have definitely made the right decision. Please don't go back.
How can I do this ?
My love YOU HAVE DONE IT.
You are fucking awesome and should be proud of yourself.
💐

Elmer83 · 05/12/2019 09:10

All the best to you and your daughter. Well done for escaping. Here’s to a happy life xxx

IdblowJonSnow · 05/12/2019 09:13

Echo what everyone else has said.
Well done for leaving.
Stay strong and never ever go back. Flowers

Lozzerbmc · 05/12/2019 10:01

Well done. You’ve dont it. Let your parents support you. Never go back ever ever he will not change

Original poster
lovemenomore · 05/12/2019 10:07

I've reported to 101 they are sending officers around.

I just need to get some things from our house for us and he has taken my bank card so need to try get that.

He's sent 100's of messages rbis morning calling me a liar and accusing of affairs. I've also looked at the pictures he sent last night of his 'injuries' and apart from where I scratched him/ poked his eye he's clearly cut himself as he's sent random body part pictures of him bleeding.

Lady on phone at 101 was lovely. I'm just worried he'll go to DD nursery tomorrow and take her. I hope the police come today. I've got pictures of my bruises but they'll still be there I'm sure.

God I'm waffling sorry

OP posts:
Dery · 05/12/2019 10:14

Great that you’ve got your DD and yourself to safety. As others have said, report the attack to the police. Also you may want to consider applying for a non-molestation order against your XP. If you call the National Centre for Domestic Violence they can talk you through the process and should be able to refer you to a law firm to help you with preparing the application.

Rainbowshine · 05/12/2019 10:14

Speak to the most senior person at the nursery to instruct them (not ask, instruct) that under no circumstance can he pick up DD. Say you have had to report him to the police. If you need to write it down before you call. Well done for getting away from him. Flowers

areyouafraidofthedark · 05/12/2019 10:18

Don't send your daughter to nursery if your worried. Let things settle down. See what the police say. Glad your safe ❤️

1moreRep · 05/12/2019 10:18

ok lovely, you have done a fantastic job so far.

if you want ask the police to come with you to get your things.

be honest about everything, there's probably so much abuse you have endured that you won't realise is abuse.

nursery, tell them what has happened and give them the instruction not to release dd to them

well done, you are so strong

Alrighteo · 05/12/2019 10:19

Good for you. It's damned hard to leave. When are the police officers coming around?

GiveHerHellFromUs · 05/12/2019 10:24

Good on you for getting out and reporting him!
Don't worry about getting into trouble for defending yourself - you won't.

They'll see through his 'injuries'.

Turn your phone off so he can't contact you. Is your bank account a joint account? If not, does he know your pin? If so, cancel the card.

Blippolbblopp · 05/12/2019 10:56

Well done OP, it took me many years to leave abusive ex but im so glad i did

He attacked me in front of our baby and DD. He was found guilty in court and given a restraining order not to contact me or any child of the family. I was so scared to tell the police, was petrified in court, but we did it

The restrsining order was only for a year but i applied to have it extended and it was extended for 2 years, getting free was the best thing i did for my kids

Its been 2 years since i left now and im still so proud of myself for getting my kids out of that life x

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