Tonight's the end...

[lovemenomore]

I've not got much battery left as glee with no charger but I've left with my DD tonight after he attacked me and bruised me and pushed my head into wall amongst other things. He's 99% emotionally abusive but tonight physical in front of DD.

I've got nothing but we are safe and it's the beginning of a happier time for us I hope.

How do I do this?

Well done op on getting out
Please please don't go back.
Change your routine for a couple of weeks (indefinitely?) so he can't turn up expectedly and shock you.
Don't take your dd to nursery tomorrow.

If he has pr he will be able to collect her until legalities are put in place.
Make this a priority. Keep nursery informed or better yet in the short term say she is I'll and you don't know when she will return.
That way, if he phones / contacts nursery he can't get any information out of them.

You have a tough road ahead but wishing you all the best.

Stay strong and just keep pushing forward for you and DC, no matter what. No doubt there'll be bumps in the road but you're on your way to a better place!

Thanks everyone.

I think I need to call women's aid - is there a number? I've looked on their website and can't see one

@lovemenomore it is 0808 2000 247 good luck

I would possibly keep your DD away from nursery if you're worried and seek legal advice. From memory, I don't think they can refuse to hand a child over to someone who has parental rights and responsibilities for the child (assuming he does) but happy to be corrected.

Well done for getting out OP. It's tough I know. You've done all the right things, asking and receiving support from your family, contacting the Police and making a statement.
I would speak to Women's Aid and get advice and guidance from them ( they truly are a fantastic organisation)
I wouldn't worry too much about him and his ridiculous protests and injuries.
As pp have said have a chat with the Nursery and make them aware of the situation.
I really hope the police visit you soon. Take care and all the best to you and your DD xx

I have been into station and made a statement (they called to ask if I could go on) scary but done now.

They are arresting him tomorrow - they deemed what he has done to be enough to arrest.

So that's that I guess.

Well done! very brave of you, and totally the right thing to do

I’m sorry you and your DD are going through this OP, what a bastard, huge admiration for you taking the right steps towards a much better future, stay strong

You’re doing amazing, well done xx

Good for you well done brave lady!

Protect future you by being wise now. No protecting him or minimizing behavior. Good luck

Well done. You've done the hard part and you won't ever regret getting your DD out of this

Well done op. Women’s aid are great. Hope all goes better for you now you are away from that monster. You’ve done the right thing for yourself and dc.

Well done for getting away. Very brave. Stay strong x

You can put a stop on your card by calling the bank now. Stops him emptying your account.

Change all your passwords, log out of all devices for everything (it's an option for everything from Amazon to social media).

If need be, you can open up a basic bank account in the morning or run a new one entirely online.

Start a claim for Universal Credit. Notify Child Benefit, etc, that you have changed address and the reason/that they must not give anybody the new address.

And tell the Nursery (and school reception, as they'll be the ones fielding phone calls from him saying 'I need to pick LO up half an hour early today' or having him turn up at pickup time when he knows you'll be there).

Well done! You are an amazingly brave lady. Lots of practical advice on this thread to look back on and help you to work through. Women's aid are just amazing too.

How are you @lovemenomore

When I split from dd's dad and he was a bit unpredictable I asked nursery not to let her go with him but because he's her parent and named on the birth cert then they couldn't refuse. They did however say they'd let me know and possibly stall him if possible.
You're doing the right thing and the best for you and your child, keep it up and it'll keep getting better 🙂

He's been arrested and released with no charge.

PC said that his account was sane as mine and I clearly gave as much as I got.

Shitting myself now he will take D

He won't.

He can't.

Apparently police are now looking at following up his complaint about me?!!!

He complained about you as he wants to look like he was the victim to minimise the trouble he could get into. That’s why he hurt himself. So it looks like you were equal instead if him being the bully. If they examined him they’ll prob have found the wounds were caused by something you didn’t use, like a knife or something when you were fighting bare handed.

Just take advice from womens aid about housing and stuff and stay safe. Lock your doors and stay sober so you are on the ball if anything kicks off.

I take it he is staying somewhere else?

He is in our house I'm at my parents.

He's called this morning begging for forgiveness and to get counselling - all stuff I've heard time and time again.

No sign of the police so I'm guessing that's bullshit too 🙄

I need to go get some stuff from house later as DD hasn't got much here.

A friend has offered to rent me her house as she's moving in with her partner as of Jan so that's an option

Don’t go round to the house yourself. He will just start trying to persuade you to come back. Go with a friend or relative if you can.
Pack a large bag. Remember to include chargers for devices, passport for you and dc, driving licence and any other paperwork you may need. Plus clothes for yourself and anything else valuable/sentimental.