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Original poster

Finances

28 replies

Snowmonster · 04/12/2019 22:31

I earn less than my OH as I work significantly less hours due to children. OH gives me a certain amount each week for bills/food (no mortgage/rent) equates to about 60% of total. We do not have joint bank accounts or anything joint financially as he is a discharged bankrupt. He NEVER pays for any items within or for the house if they need replacing or have broken. He says because I own my house outright he is not paying for its upkeep or replacing items in it. Would like to hear your opinions please!

OP posts:
Wildorchidz · 04/12/2019 22:33

Are they his children?

DesMartinsPetCat · 04/12/2019 22:33

My opinion is that he’s not planning on hanging around.

Are you married?

Wildorchidz · 04/12/2019 22:36

Does he use the items in the house?

Original poster
Snowmonster · 04/12/2019 22:37

Thanks for the replies, we have one child together. We have been in this situation for 6 years.

OP posts:
Original poster
Snowmonster · 04/12/2019 22:38

Yes he does, I have recently purchased two new sofas, a new dishwasher and freezer. They are all items that we needed, replacements for broken items. He never offers to pay for any of it or offer even a contribution. I don't think that's normal is it?

OP posts:
Wildorchidz · 04/12/2019 22:40

No it isn’t normal.
But what do you want to do about it?
Do you want him to leave?

firesong · 04/12/2019 22:43

What did you mean by 60% of the total? The total of all bills or that total that you as a household pay for food etc?

Anyway, no, that's very strange. Is he struggling financially?

firesong · 04/12/2019 22:45

Oh sorry, I see, you have no mortgage or rent to pay.

He sounds tight as fuck! I would find it really off-putting.

Original poster
Snowmonster · 04/12/2019 22:45

I have thought about ending it in September when our child goes to pre school full time. It will give me a chance to get some money behind me and I will be in a position to work full time then.

OP posts:
Original poster
Snowmonster · 04/12/2019 22:46

He is very tight. I am still waiting for the Valentines present that he said was 'in the post'.......!!

OP posts:
Wildorchidz · 04/12/2019 22:47

Your first post refers to children. Do you have other children that are not his?

Original poster
Snowmonster · 04/12/2019 22:48

60% the total of food, oil, electric, water, car insurance, house insurance etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
Snowmonster · 04/12/2019 22:48

Yes I have three older children that are not his.

OP posts:
StrayWoman · 04/12/2019 22:50

How many children are there? Do you receive maintenance if the other children are not his?

Original poster
Snowmonster · 04/12/2019 22:51

No I dont get maintenance their father is no longer resident in the UK.

OP posts:
Wildorchidz · 04/12/2019 22:54

So you have no housing costs.
He is paying 60% of all monthly bills.

Wildorchidz · 04/12/2019 22:54

If he left would you be able to meet all your financial commitments alone?

Original poster
Snowmonster · 04/12/2019 23:00

If I was working full time yes, but on my current hours no which is why I was thinking about September so I can get my finances sorted out and go back to work full time.

OP posts:
DesMartinsPetCat · 04/12/2019 23:02

Are you married?

Original poster
Snowmonster · 04/12/2019 23:31

Not married, no.

OP posts:
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 04/12/2019 23:42

No I dont get maintenance their father is no longer resident in the UK

The non resident parent should be paying child maintenance regardless of where they live.

LemonTT · 05/12/2019 00:03

What sort of benefits would you get if he moved out?

Original poster
Snowmonster · 07/12/2019 00:10

Unfortunately the Child Maintenance Service have no jurisdiction abroad, he should be paying child maintenance but he doesn't and there is nothing the CSM can do.

OP posts:
IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 07/12/2019 08:26

I think he is paying too much not too little. Given you are not married and he has no claim on the home or it’s contents then sixty percent of the household bills is more than his share. Usually I’d say 50/50 on bills but given you have three children that are not his then the bulk of the costs should fall to you.

I’d expect him to pay for half the childcare for the child that’s his.

Menora · 07/12/2019 08:31

He’s not married to you and has 1 child out of the 4 with you, he’s also not on the mortgage. This makes sense that he is reluctant to give you more money but is the issue that you can’t afford sofas and dishwashers? How did you pay for them?

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