When does a boyfriend become a dp

[lifeisgoodagain]

We have plans for August... think it's the real deal and we are way to old to be boy/girl, my dd has a long term dp! We can't live together because of geography, and I have an adult child still at home (plus we need to sort our divorces, we met 6 months after our splits before anyone assumes)

I have a boyfriend and I’m 43 - been together 3.5 years
I don’t like the term partner though - it’s never been a word I like.

I would say a partner is someone that you live with and share finances etc. It’s effectively a husband/wife without a wedding.

I lived with my ex-partner for over 20 years. We brought up children and paid off a mortgage. My current man is my boyfriend. Even though I agree it sounds ridiculous at our ages. We are nearly 50.

Personally I wouldn't refer to anyone as a partner until we were living together. But I don't like the term partner anyway.

I feel it is a bit strange to have a boy/girl friend when people are older. I don't know what age I would say is the dividing point.

I think it depends how involved you are with each other. We are included with each other's family. We don't share finances or live together. He (to avoid boyfriend) thinks boyfriend sounds much more casual than Partner. He is younger than me and dislikes any mention of "toyboy". I would not like to be called a "cougar".
I will be interested to see what this thread comes up with.

I call my DP my partner if in a proffesional enviroment or my fella to others. We've been together for 2 years and dont live together ( moving in together in January ) im 27, id feel embarrassed calling him my boyfriend, it feels very juvenile

I have a boyfriend and have done for 23 years. We’re not married so remain boyfriend and girlfriend. Partner sounds business like imo

None of the options sound right to me, but I don't have any alternatives, so I use boyfriend. Or my man/fella in casual conversation. It's an odd one.

Partner to me is when you start to factor them in to decisions about life. Not about where you live or age.

Ive been with my DP 10 years living together 9 i cant ever remember calling him my bfriend staryed calling him my partner when we had our sons as we are partners share finances house everything really.

I'd say partner is someone you share a home and finances with.

But who cares really?

I tend to call my long-term boyfriend The Bloke.

When you make a big commitment to each other that is not engagement or marriage. So if you are with somebody in a long term relationship in which you live together, have joint finances, a mortgage maybe, kids together possibly, but are not engaged or married then that's your partner.

If you go down the conventional route in your relationship, you might never call them partner. They would be your boyfriend, then your fiancé, then your husband.

I don't use the term ex-fiancé though or fiancé for that matter so have called that person partner too though, so I don't think it sticks to my definition regularly

Probably not until you live together

Also I think it would be strange to be each other’s partners if you are still legally married - ie a husband and a partner doesn’t sound right to me

I would say it's sharing a home and finances. Boyfriend is such a crap word though, particularly when you're well into middle age, it just sounds wrong. We really need another term.

For me being someone's partner is when you're at a point where your lives have joined and you are making financial and long term life decisions together. It's basic husband and wife but without the legal contract.

So I'd probably not consider (for example) a 20-22 year old couple, dating a year or two through university, living separately, etc to be partners. Even if they lived together in a house share it wouldn't be partner territory for me.

But a couple who've lived separately to make the right move in at the right time around their children, who make long term financial decisions and day to day practical decisions and have plans for their longer life plans would be partners.

Partner is living together. Are you old enough to talk about having a gentleman friend if boyfriend is too young?

I usually use partner or boyfriend. We are engaged but I find the term fiancé a little much - especially when we're too lazy to have set a date yet.
I do agree with others that usually partner is used when you are living together, but there's no strict rules for that sort of thing.

My boyfriend is my partner. He naturally became that when we moved in. I don’t refer to him as my boyfriend when people ask about us, to me it feels a bit juvenile.

Him being a typical bloke just refers to me as the mrs or wouldn’t have an issue calling me his girlfriend.

I think living together. I've been with my partner for 15 years (we've actively chosen not to marry, no kids) I would feel redic calling him my boyfriend. On the other hand I find it a bit cringe when people call a 3 month boyfriend their partner.

@CountFosco I am blown out my shoes laughing at "Gentleman Friend". I would feel several hundred years old if I had a "Gentleman Friend".
Or does "Gentleman Friend mean something else?

we live together but not married so officially partner but i call him other half as in other half of the relationship as we are in our sixties boyfriend and girlfriend would just be weird, on each others wills we are referred to as long term partner

There are lots of older and/or burned people who would never live with a partner again but are very much in relationships so I don't think it necessarily has to do with where you sleep at night.

I’m in my 30s I couldn’t bring myself to use the term boyfriend. It’s abit cringey when you get to a certain age so I would say partner from earlier on. Would never use bf

I don’t like BF or DP - I sometimes say DS’s dad 😂

Just to clarify I wouldn’t say my son’s dad - I would say ‘Norman’s dad’ for example

My "boyfriend" has been my partner almost since day 1, I think. We clicked straight away, shared everything, asked for advice on life decisions right from the start. Moved in together quickly, so now share a home and finances and the care of his son.

We are a team, so definitely partners.

I would say there's a difference between partners and dating. But tbh, it really doesn't matter. Calling it something different doesn't make it any different. I can call him my boyfriend, partner, fella .. whatever. He calls me his mrs, and we're not married and likely never will be as neither of us are that bothered!