When does a boyfriend become a dp

[lifeisgoodagain]

We have plans for August... think it's the real deal and we are way to old to be boy/girl, my dd has a long term dp! We can't live together because of geography, and I have an adult child still at home (plus we need to sort our divorces, we met 6 months after our splits before anyone assumes)

When I started my current job I referred to my DP as ‘my partner’ and every single person thought I meant same sex relationship.

Absolutely no idea why. It wasn’t until I referred to him as ‘he’ or said his name they said they assumed I was with another woman and asked why I didn’t just say boyfriend. Now it’s made me think that anyone I say partner to assumes I mean another woman..

I’m only 23 though and I find the term boyfriend a little bit immature sometimes, especially when I’m speaking to some older patients at work, I almost cringe at myself saying boyfriend.

'Partner' is such a ridiculous term and so many people apply it to anyone they date.

Equally.

I racking can’t stand it when I see or hear my DP refer to me as his ‘missus/Misses’

Ugh I’ll leave you, you bastard.

'Gentleman friend'!!! only if you're over 90.

'Boyfriend' just about OK till about age 30. The English language is really shortchanging the rest of us. There just isn't a non stupid sounding term.

Interesting replies - it seems crazy but at least I'm not the only one who feels so connected from the start

I am blown out my shoes laughing at "Gentleman Friend". I would feel several hundred years old if I had a "Gentleman Friend".

Well exactly. I know someone in her 40s who uses it about her grandmother's 'boyfriend'. But there's nothing in between boyfriend and gentleman friend is there. Man friend? Doesn't quite describe the relationship properly does it. And who wants to be described as a 'woman friend' which sounds slightly suspect. Is that better or worse than 'lady friend'?

On the other hand I remember finding it very weird talking about DH as 'my husband' when we were newly married at 30, it sounded too grown up!

I've heard the term companion for older couples (grandparents age) but that sounds like a casual term a bit like lady friend.

I didn't like calling him my boyfriend when he's 44 and I'm 41, it really sounded strange when his mum introduced me to someone as DP's girlfriend and not partner. I thought we've been in a relationship for 8 years, live together and we have a son, the term girlfriend doesn't reflect the stage or seriousness of our relationship. Problem is solved now as we are getting married in Spring next year. I find it weird calling him my fiancé so I sway between DP and other half.

I have been with DP for 6 years and we are late 30s / early 40s. We live together and I am a very large part of his children's lives. We make big financial decisions together but I still call him my boyfriend apart from on here or if I talking to someone official.

Well my dilemma is partially solved in my case, he has introduced me as his partner to his work and friends, I'm far too old to be a girl!

I've had boyfriends and I've had husbands. I've never had a 'partner' because the term would make me so bilious we'd never have sex and so the relationship would die. It's so squirmy as a designation.

The only time 'partner' was ever really accepted was before gay marriage or civil partnerships were ok wasn't it? So people in a committed same-sex relationship referred to their significant other as their 'partner' because their wasn't a better word available.

Heteros are just bf and gf and then husband and wife surely? Partner always struck me as people that couldn't commit for some reason (and I was brought up by hippies in the 70s).

@ILikeyourHairyHands as people have explained, partner is used when 'boyfriend' feels juvenile but you're not married. Boyfriend sounds a bit sneaky snogs behind the bikesheds to be used to refer to someone who you are all but married to.

Call him what you like, as long as he doesn't complain... I have a boyfriend at 50; we don't live together, no plans to do so, so "partner" seems a bit misleading. So far no-one has laughed in my face when I've used the word "boyfriend", and if they did I'd probably think they were a bit funny, rather than that I was using the wrong word.

There should be another name because I'm in the same situation.

The only reason we don't live together is because we've both got adult children at home. Previously, I'd have said the word partner was someone who lived together but wasn't married. At 50 and 56 using boyfriend and girlfriend feels ridiculous to me. Lady friend and Man friend sounds like we're 80 😱 Using the word partner sounds more appropriate for our age and relationship, which is committed as if we were to marry.

I can’t understand why anyone would be in a rush to start using partner. It sounds so antiquated

@NameChangeNugget, what would you use for 50 something, unmarried's, who have been together years not months?