Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What makes some older women think their adult sons are GOD

70 replies

SheepGoesBaa · 02/12/2019 15:53

I've seen it a few times from some older women. They think their adult sons are god and can do no wrong and their adult sons are corrupted by their female partners. Then they hate their sons partner with a passion.

I've seen this a few times. In one case one mothers son was a drug addict and really a piece of scum.

Even in my own mother I see it. She has this mentality where she pitys my brothers in particular the youngest one for being male.

Last week mail came for him and I saw her run to get her glasses to investigate the envelope. Another time he opened his mail, left the room and she read his mail. I think it's so wrong. He has no privacy. I don't know if I should tell him of I see her again reading his mail.

OP posts:
SlightlyBonkersQFA · 02/12/2019 17:07

Sons are elevated and daughters viewed through a more critical lens, definitely

Picklypickles · 02/12/2019 17:37

This is very much a thing on my mums side of the family. My nan was always very critical of my mum, had ridiculously high expectations of her, whereas her 2 sons could do no wrong. My mum is not as bad as her mum, she isn't really critical of me but has always treated me differently to my brothers. They always got away with things I never would have done, they were allowed to bring girlfriends home to spend the night for example I most certainly was not! After I moved out of home I was told I wouldn't be allowed back (tough love) whereas my brothers can move in and out as often as they like!

I have a son and a daughter and I'm determined not to treat them differently to one another.

PhilomenaChristmasPie · 03/12/2019 14:05

Sheep yes but he does take the piss, and he knows it. He could do more. Thanks though.

SquashedFlyBiscuit · 03/12/2019 14:10

Yep. I do most of my mums care and run around after her but its the son who she sees every few months who can do no wrong...

dottiedodah · 03/12/2019 15:13

There is obviously only one perfect Son and every mothers got him! My own Son is very dear to me and I would do anything for him .However I have always made his GFs welcome, as I want him to be happy and fulfilled ,not on his own with just his mates!

NoArmaniNoPunani · 03/12/2019 15:16

You described my ex mother in law. When DH died I got a huge shock that they found heroin in his system. His mother has gone from calling me liar to telling me she will always blame me for his death

soulrunner · 03/12/2019 15:19

Not my Gran. When my uncle‘s ( her son) ex- wife tried to shoot him she said ‘well, whatever did you say to make her do that? ‘ 😂

soulrunner · 03/12/2019 15:20

To be fair she didn’t actually pull the trigger but she did chase him with a rifle

Hottap · 03/12/2019 15:23

Mum's thinking their sons are God has always been a thing.
How do you think Christianity started?

Lucyccfc68 · 03/12/2019 15:25

Apparently I have ruined my mothers life for reporting my brother to the police for historic child abuse. He also abused his own 4 year old daughter, but where my Mum is concerned, the sun shines out of his arse. She told me once that we should all move on, as he's had a tough time.

She wonders why I am NC with her.

RLEOM · 03/12/2019 15:25

My ex's mum is a prime example of this. He lied to me and cheated on me just after our baby was been born... but I was still made out to be the bad guy! No matter what he does, the sun will always shine out of his peachy butt.

DaffyDuck473 · 03/12/2019 15:26

This is my mother with my brother.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 03/12/2019 15:34

I can confidently say that I will think my son is god when hes an adult

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 03/12/2019 15:39

Damn those older women,they get everywhere,don't they?

FoosBitch · 03/12/2019 15:45

My Gma did this with my 2 uncles and it drove my mum mental. She was always excusing their disregard because 'they were busy with important things'.
They were (and are) selfish bastards who rarely called but when they needed money or a place to stay they would just show up. When Gpa was dying he specifically told my mum not to let her go live near them, which is what Gma wanted to do, because he knew that they wouldn't look after her properly.
My mum got her to move nearer to us which turned out for the best. Eldest uncle didn't even go to her funeral despite being the apple of her eye.

Autumntoowet · 03/12/2019 15:49

Yep. My mum. My MIL.

LaMarschallin · 03/12/2019 15:53

TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince

Must be something only ‘older mothers’ havehmm

True.
I find those 25 year old mothers of adult children to be totally reasonable...

The "older" was certainly redundant in the OP.

ohweedoggie · 03/12/2019 16:21

Yes my mum, gran and mil all pity/ elevate their sons in a way they don't/ didn't with their daughters or husbands. Strange.

JellyNo15 · 03/12/2019 16:46

I think it is a case of some mothers having favourites (sons or daughters). I have two adult sons, both flown the nest several years ago but I still love them unconditionally, although apparently because I am "older" this is frowned upon.

GlitterToast · 03/12/2019 17:20

You get a lot of sisters treating their brothers like this too. I used to work with a brother and sister. The brother was a lazy shit, and the sister was always covering for him. Very annoying.

ForalltheSaints · 03/12/2019 21:32

I wonder what Mrs Johnson thinks of her son Boris? Though her views have almost entirely been kept private.

justilou1 · 03/12/2019 21:44

My brother was 43 when my mother died. He’d never worked a day in his life, yet he made Mother Theresa look like scum in her eyes. He used to bully her for money when she was on her deathbed. She made me withdraw enough money on cash so that he could buy a brand new luxury car, in case probate took too long. He inherited 90% of her estate. Traveling to nurse her ended up costing me more than I ended up with, and she was horrible to me. Absolutely horrible. Guess what he was up to while I was lifting her and changing her bum, and showering her and having my face clawed at, and soothing her while she was in pain? Holidaying at the beach to break in his new car.

TartanMarbled · 03/12/2019 21:49

I suppose they just love them? I think the sun shines out of both my children's arses. My mum is the same with me and my sibling. Isn't that what's supposed to happen?

Bartlet · 03/12/2019 21:52

My mum with my brothers. They’re both total fuck ups because they have been babied and never taught to act like proper grown ups. Even now she tolerates standards/ behaviour from them that I couldn’t accept from a young child. It’s done them no favours as they can’t function properly.

ClareBlue · 04/12/2019 08:29

My wife was first to go to university in her family. Moved abroad to establish a career, brought up 3 children with me, moved to be near her elderly mother. Cares for her, takes her out etc etc. Brother never worked, never visits except for money, lives 20 miles away and is never involved but all conversation from MIL are how great he is. Never once even said anything about how great her daughter is, never in 27 years. WTF..