How much were your solicitor fees

[Minionmomma]

I know this should prob be in the divorce section but the relationships section seems to have a lot more traffic.

I need to financially disentangle from my ‘D’H. We agreed that we both wish to avoid court but he seems to want 50% of our house, pay me some maintenance (he earns a lot more) and his inheritance is not included in the division. This would mean him walking away in a much more secure position than I. I’m primary carer although he’s going to try to claim we are 50/50%.

I called a reputable solicitor and was quoted £235 p/hr plus vat; £23.50 plus vat for each letter, email, phone call thereafter. I can see huge bills building up.

How much did you pay in total? Is there anything I can do myself to keep costs down? TIA.

I think a mediator can just be a safe place where you can lay out your concerns and make suggestions. It might come to nothing but a good mediator can help you come to some decisions. He might be more inclined to listen in front of a mediator.

Maybe point out to him that it's in both your interests to come to a decision. I think the inheritance question is not straightforward, and your point about giving up so much to enable him to work is important too. Ultimately his inheritance could enable his own children to have a more comfortable home with you but he might not see it like that.

Go into using a solicitor with your eyes wide open because the costs are frightening. Like someone else said, make sure you ask all your questions in one email because each one costs money. Make detailed and clear notes before each appointment so you know what you want to ask and never go over the hour! My ex also used to write letters to my solicitor and I would end up paying for all those responses too. It was a nightmare financially looking back and I would always advise anyone to try their utmost to come to some amicable agreement without a solicitor if at all possible.

Hi Minionmomma, I just wanted to add that equalisation is a factor in a long marriage as well so you won't necessarily be left in unequal positions regarding his inheritance. My partner's recent divorce left them on equal footing regarding assets, income and pensions and they didn't have children so don't dismiss the inheritance just yet. You could push for a three bedroom house as a lifestyle factor as strict needs is the starting position. The more assets there are, the more that can be shared. Nothing is set in stone regarding divorce and I read a lot of doom and gloom on here about no spousal etc etc but it does happen. My case and my partners are two very recent examples.

Where equalisation was factored in. Sorry posted too soon.

@Dacquoise thank you so much for your advice. I will definitely go via a solicitor. Hoping he will be advised by his solicitor that 50/50 split of just the house is not enough.

Spousal maintenance is generally only considered if the disparity in income is considerable and it has been a long marriage. Legally a long marriage is, I think, 17 years but the years you were cohabiting first not qualify.

I suspect that he will be able to protect his inheritance. It is certainly common to do so, and it would be hard to argue entitlement given that he received it 8 weeks before the split.

The starting point to split house/pension/savings is 50/50 but can be skewed in favour of the financially weaker partner, or the parent who takes on the role of primary carer.

In terms of need, I think you could argue that you need a 3-bed home within catchment of your children's school. If you would not find one much cheaper than your current home, the court would endeavour to keep you in it.

I asked for recommendations for a good family lawyer and paid £250ph.

After the first two hour consultation I had a good idea of what I could reasonably expect, and we talked about it.

He saw his own lawyer, who told him much the same thing, and then the four of us sat down and thrashed out the detail.

In total, it cost me £2000 and only needed to be ratified by the court.

It only gets expensive if you disagree or one of you pushes for something unreasonable.

My solicitor suggested that xh paid all legal fees due to the reason for our divorce but I asked to pay my own. I knew what I wanted and didn't need to be greedy. In the end I got far more by being reasonable and making concessions where I could.

You are very welcome Minion. Hold in there for what you want. Nobody can guarantee you an outcome in a divorce settlement and lots of peoplewill give you 'definitive' advice on this and that. Having just spent two years going through court I can tell you that anything is possible and reasonable offers are listened to. I was initially advised by my Barrister that the outcome I wanted wasn't possible. Guess what, I got it. Some things I didn't get but the court isn't there to screw you over. It's all about reasonable expectations. Wishing you the best of luck.

£200k

and we settled!

I think the fact that he's already telling you what you can have (and is wrong) means that legal advice is vital, and your divorce may well involve court if he will not budge from a different settlement. Once the money is involved, sadly for many it all gets nasty. My ex said I could have half tge equity in the house. I was advised differently by my solicitor so we went to court (you have to try mediation first). I paid about £24000 (divorce took nearly 3 years - he delayed and was difficult about everything) but I got over £500000 more of the assets including pension share, plus spousal maintenance (very long marriage). It was obviously worth every penny of legal fees! My ex was emotionally abusive so I needed the 'buffer' my solicitor provided.

£2.5k including fees for divorce and financial order. I had 3 meetings total and 1 phone call and maybe 3 emails. We agreed everything between us up front so no court appearance or wrangling.

My divorce... about 40K. 2 years of peace before he got a nutjob as a girlfriend and started taking me to court for sole custody... and 120K in the last two years and counting

I have just paid about £1300 - that was for advice and drafting consent order only. We agreed never trying between ourselves and I did paperwork for actual divorce.