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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I can't forget last night

31 replies

ihatejoe11 · 29/11/2019 22:04

Newbie and long post.. sorry. Just back from 5 days abroad, new relationship (3months) all was perfect until I got a dodgy stomach last night. About 10pm said go down to the AI bar enjoy the last night (we had made friends (couples mostly).He said I will have a couple of drinks, get a kebab. Half an hour later he's sat at a table with 4 German girls (about mid 20yrs) drinking tequila, and whatever else. From the balcony I heard him comment on one girls boob size, being flirty, telling them all where he comes from. Then one girl said 'if it's not working, do something about it'. He saw me sat on the balcony and they all shouted for me to join them (in my pjs, dodgy tum and really angry/upset). He stayed with them another hour before staggering back to the room. It was an awkward flight back today and he thinks he's done nothing wrong.. any advice please?

OP posts:
AlwaysCheddar · 29/11/2019 22:07

Easy! Dump him!

CatSmize · 29/11/2019 22:08

LTB? I'm surprised you'd consider doing anything else! He sounds like a complete and utter twat. Thank goodness you've seen his true colours before you get even more involved Flowers

Newmumma83 · 29/11/2019 22:09

If your not happy do something about it...

How do you feel about him before this?

I would calmly ask if there was anything he needed to tell me ... he may not be the guy for you ... glad you were annoyed though as you know your worth more than a flirty shit who is eyeing up someone else’s boobs because your not looking .. did he can do that in 20 mins not sure what he would do in a weekend with the lads

WhoKnewBeefStew · 29/11/2019 22:10

Red flag OP. Forget him a dm move in, major disrespect to you

SleepWarrior · 29/11/2019 22:10

He's not the bloke for you.

He's not done anything wrong in the sense of cheating so he thinks you're overreacting and unreasonable. You're not, but you clearly have very different idea of what sort of behaviour to expect from a partner and therefore are not compatible.

He won't change as this is who he is right now, and you certainly shouldn't change what you feel comfortable with for the sake of one relationahip. I'd call it a day asap.

WifOfBif · 29/11/2019 22:13

After 3 months?

Run.

Pinkbonbon · 29/11/2019 22:14

Certainly implies that he had been moaning about you to the women before you overheard them.

But then again, if they are German maybe they misunderstood.

The drinking with them wouldn't have bothered me. But it would have been nice if he had defended you after what the girl said.

I don't think it would be enough for me to break up with him. But certainly keep an eye on things. Strike one, i'd say.

AtrociousCircumstance · 29/11/2019 22:15

He is still, to a large extent, a single man in his own mind. He was disloyal and disrespectful and they are character traits that don’t change. Dump.

Branleuse · 29/11/2019 22:25

this ones a non starter tbh. Move on. He was whinging about you already

category12 · 29/11/2019 22:48

Well, it boils down to how much self-respect you have, doesn't it? If the answer's not a lot, then stay with him.

PawsAndReflection · 29/11/2019 23:02

This is supposed to be the honeymoon period!! Things aren't going to get better

Goldenchildsmum · 29/11/2019 23:08

any advice please?

Advice - dump him

Question - why do you need to ask?

notthisagain19 · 29/11/2019 23:09

Thank you for the replies. He told me I was over reacting. I have more respect for my cat than he has for me. I told him I need time to process, he's not happy so its def time to end it.

Bluerussian · 29/11/2019 23:14

Good! I hope you stick to it. He was disrespectful and extremely vulgar. Probably thinks its funny and you're over reacting but I assume he isn't 19.

FrenchSchnoodle · 29/11/2019 23:15

Oops. Name change fail OP?

SoleBizzz · 29/11/2019 23:21

Player. Take control and get rid of him first. Stand him up and ghist him lol

namechange4052 · 29/11/2019 23:25

He sounds about 15.

Ilovethekitties · 30/11/2019 00:26

I think you know that you can do better.

Loveablers · 30/11/2019 00:34

Leave
If he can disrespect you like that in front of you imagine what he’d do behind your back

Countryescape · 30/11/2019 03:57

Definitely LTB

Simonsaysitschristmas · 30/11/2019 04:11

I would dump him in a heartbeat and thank my lucky stars I had only invested 3 months of my life into him.

Aquamarine1029 · 30/11/2019 04:40

I'm alarmed you need advice. He's shit.

fit4more · 30/11/2019 05:05

Oh wow. He’d done the classic thing of moan off about his relationship to the young, pretty girl to try and gain her sympathy and get into her pants. What a shit. Dump immediately

CrunchyCarrot · 30/11/2019 05:23

If he's like that after only 3 months into a relationship, things will only get worse! Show him the door and find a better model!

RantyAnty · 30/11/2019 05:40

what fit4more said

You thought you were in a relationship. His actions say he clearly thinks he's single.

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