Dating someone 17 years younger.. I can probably guess the answers but just wondering if it would ever work

[monsin]

He's lovely , I'm young at heart .. is it very wrong ???

SOrry @monsin I can't say whether or not the ''dh is 17 years older than i am and we're happy so go for it'' posts are helpful to you or not.

But in my mind, these age gaps conform extremely to a patriarchal ideal and seeing as how we're all trying to carve out what's right for our own needs in that patriarchy, I see those examples as being the total opposite.

No societal influences will be subtly at work making a 50 something male question his choice of a wife 15 years younger, but there will be many many societal factors making a 50 year old man feel he can and should do better than a 65 year old partner.

I know for the couple themselves, they will still have some of the same factors to consider. Even though society may consider a woman of 50 over the hill and a man of 50 as deserving of a younger partner, fact is, a man of 50 and a woman of 50 are both going to have similar references, levels of energy, perspectives etc..

Really good friends of mine have a 19 year gap. Been married for yonks with kids.
They adore each other still.

Go for it!

I’m a little bit younger than you but not a lot. If you tire of him can I borrow him for a couple of night? I’ll give him back in good condition.

Nothing wrong with that at all.

My nan is 70 and her partner is 51. He's the same age as my dad who is her son. Sounds weird but they're both adults and they're happy together so why shouldn't they be together.

Watch gold digger on I player. It might inspire you!!!

Haha re Gold Digger. Go ahead and shag them but if you have a holiday home in Italy (or wherever it was) keep your rational head on!!

All the people referring to (woman older) age gap relationships where they have kids together .. this is a totally different scenario. Op won't be able to have kids with this man (ok she could have IVF with donor eggs but is unlikely to want to do that, aside from the cost) and it is likely to become the sticking point if the relationship becomes long term.

If not having a family is OK then why not? No-one would bat an eyelid if it was the reverse, unless the man was someone awful such as Donald Trump or Boris Johnson.

DP is 17 years younger than I am. We have been together over 10 years.

He is definitely more sensible and mature than I will ever be.

My lover was fifteen years younger than me. It worked for a long, long time, and then it didn't. We said goodbye. I wouldn't have missed loving him for the world.
Go for it!

Oh OP, I did and whilst it lasted... sex was fantastic, but he irritated me on many levels, even so, we broke up and I really missed him!!
I'm dating bit older now (10 years younger not 17) and it IS easier..
Hardest things are the cultural references and him not knowing stuff you take for granted, theres so many pluses I'd advise to go for it but be prepared x

Did you get together with him in the end OP? I hope so!

I'm 48 he's 31

Nothing wrong with that.

Be prepared however that he may well change his mind about kids.

Also keep in mind that he may well be the one to end the relationship in order to pursue a relationship with a woman closer to his age.

When I think of older woman age gap relationships, off the top of my head I think about Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher .. ended in tears for her, a politicians wife from my neck of the woods (Iris Robinson) - it was an affair and ended in tears for her, and Helen Mitten and Liam Neeson .. I believe she moved on gracefully whether he ended it or she did (as you would expect from Helen Mirren), and the Macrons - who tbh I think are the exception to the rule.

All the best threads are necros, although this one is only a few months out of date. I doubt if OP and her boyfriend are still together. She should have accepted their relationship is likely to be casual only. Poster above suggested that patriarchy and society would tend to devalue their relationship. That and biology.