Dating someone 17 years younger.. I can probably guess the answers but just wondering if it would ever work

[monsin]

He's lovely , I'm young at heart .. is it very wrong ???

OP, it's not wrong at all. It's romantic!

He is young and ofc he doesn't want kids now but in the future he will( I've seen this happening few times). If you don't want to waste your time,look for someone else but if you want a quick adventure,go for it.

Nothing wrong as such. But I do know of several women who were dumped when he decided at 40 that he did want children actually.

All relationships can break down though.

I'm that age. I wouldn't go there, despite all the 'go for it' unless he was already done having kids, 'reckons' isn't good enough - frankly, if one of my kids gave up their desire to have kids for a relationship I'd be gutted.

OP .. just out of a relationship with a man 17yrs younger, and it was fucking brilliant..until.. he left me for reasons unknown but I would say go for it but be very aware your needs may not be what he perceives them to be.. ultimately my relationship ended because I'm sure he met someone else who was..less hard work, with smaller expectations and he felt more comfortable with that scenario, however, by far it was one of the best times of my dating history and I miss the fucker still.. the pluses are the positive mindset and the outlook, so different from men my(our) age.. the negatives.. age and experience led me to expect a certain standard of engagement from him which I think was lost as he didnt (couldn't?) See my take on matters that were important, the key factor was supporting me through a difficult time.
Wish you the best but with my experience would say be aware that your ages may not matter in most things but.. could cause issues with things we take at our age for granted.

It depends on what you're looking for and like a pp said, most relationships don't last forever anyway. Well none of them do as we all die at some point.

I married someone nearly 20 years younger than me. Swore he never wanted DC. We were together over a decade and he had his head turned and decided he wanted a family. We split. I was devastated as I thought we were good.

So just be aware. Then again relationships with no age gap split all the time too.

My SIL is 13 years older than my BIL. They have been together for around 25 years and very happy too. BIL was mid 20s when they first hooked up. They have one son in his early 20s 😊

I think it's a too big gap. I'm roughly the OPs age and am fit and have a young outlook but the thought of dating someone that much younger seems weird.

Due to a pastime I have I hang out with a lot of younger people and while I enjoy their company I couldn't see them as dating material.

Also, how would it work out financially?

Depends what you mean by "work out". Will you die side by side after decades of happy marriage? Probably not, although of course it's possible. But I don't believe that's the only measure of a successful relationship. I think having a nice life and relationship together until you reasonably amicably part ways is also a success.

Nobody even knows themself what they will want or need in two years. I think you need to be in a good place knowing that if a relationship ends, you'll be ok. If you go in to it hoping that it's a forever thing, then avoid.

My Mum's partner is 16 years younger than her. They've been together over 20 years. Got for it I say!

I'm 48 he's 31

I can be quite down in age gap relationships tbh - but that gap/those ages seems fine.

I would still be v cautious/cynical about the long term potential though. Obviously some relationships with an older female, younger male gap do work in the long-term, but most don't.

If your attitude is one of enjoying it and you don't think you'll be devastated/heart broken etc if and when the relationship breaks down, go for it. If not, you might be better to not get involved. (And u don't know about you, but lots of women I know can't help but get v emotionally involved and when it ends you'd have the double whammy of a relationship ending plus feeling like part/all of it is due to you "not being young enough".

Kids .... Lots of people change their minds about kids when they get older. In fact I know virtually none who haven't. At 31 you might have little feeling of urgency/priority, esp as a male. Their biological click alarm tends to go off later, which makes sense as they have more leeway.

*clock

On short,maybe he's a Macron but chances are he's not.

If you can deal with that, go ahead and enjoy it. But with the caveat that it's probably not going to be long term and that he's probably going to end it, not you.

*In short

Both my sisters are in large age gap relationships, they are both blissfully happy. Go for it. Both relationships are long term, one 10 years and counting, the other nearly 15 years long so far.

What's a macron ?

Emmanuel Macron

Oh lol 😂 I get ya

Both my sisters are in large age gap relationships, they are both blissfully happy. Go for it. Both relationships are long term, one 10 years and counting, the other nearly 15 years long so far.

Out of interest, do the men have kids of their own.

There's 21 years between my partner and I, with me being the younger one. The only issue I've noticed is that at the beginning he was worried that I'd go off him and go with someone my own age. I think he just couldn't believe that I found him attractive to start with, and then fell in love with him.

Now, a few years have passed, we live together, we're very much like best friends, and I literally don't think about the age gap whatsoever.

He's concerned about what life will be like when he's older and perhaps I will need to care for him - but I always tell him to shut up, because we might break up before that for another random reason that he hasn't even thought to worry about. Whatever happens, we'll deal with it at the time, but there's no point in living anywhere other than the now.

He's only 50 and his parents are going strong and need no care whatsoever at 80, so chances are his worries are decades away, and spoiling his happiness right now!

Are you both from the same country? I’d be wary if you are from a European country and he’s from somewhere else. Basically looking for a U.K. bride so he can get rights to remain here. I know someone that’s happened to and it broke her heart as we thought he truly loved her.
If that’s not the case and you are both U.K. citizens or whatever I’d totally go for it. I know three couples in the same boat. All long term relationships. All v happy.

My relationship has a bigger age gap than that, and we’ve been married 8 years and have 3 dc. So it’s worked so far....

No issues! Crack on and have fun

DH 16yrs older than me. I know your situation is different where the female is older than the male but honestly unless your younger partner wants children down the line nothing else about this age-gap relationship matters!

People saying ''DH is 17 years older than I am'' that is different because it's their choice to keep choosing to stay with a partner so much older.

That doesn't help the OP as she wants to know if she should become invested in to a relationship where society is going to devalue her as a woman (no matter how she values herself) with a partner who is going to be perceived to have his best years still ahead of him.

I'm dating a man a bit younger than me (6 years) and if I felt he would tire of the relationship before I did, volumes of women saying ''dh is older than I am and it's not a problem'' would feel about as relevant as the price of hibiscus tea in timbuktoo really.