I miss having sex

[PerfectionistProcrastinator]

Does anyone else suffer with uti after sex?

Just want a bit of a moan really. DP and I have been together for nearly 5 years. I’ve always had on/off problems with uti after sex but we used condoms at the beginning of our relationship for about 2 years and I never had a uti during that time. Since then and trying for a baby, I get uti if we have sex more than once within a few days.

Yes I pee after sex, wash before and after, tried d-mannose and do all the other prevention methods. Yes we use lube, not a fertility one as they contain parabens. We use an organic one with sperm friendly ph levels.

Anyway, aside from the trying to conceive I’m just feeling really fed up. I’ve considered posting this for a while but never bothered.

I really shy away from sex with DP. Neither of us have a high drive anyway but due to my problems we have sex maybe once a month when trying (and use self insemination the other days in my fertile period). When we do have sex all I can think about is it not going on too long so that I don’t get an infection...hoping my bladder will be full enough after for a decent wee, then spending the next few hours drinking loads.

It makes me really sad that spontaneous sex is off the cards and I can’t just relax and enjoy it. I read about other people having a healthy sex live with their partner and I feel so sad that we can’t just have that.

I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. I miss the closeness that sex brings. Anyone else in the same boat?

That sounds really difficult. I was just wondering have you been diagnosed every time you have sex with a UTI? UTI's require antibiotics. They are caused by bacteria entering the urinary tract so yes, obviously the peeing should help. Is there any chance (obviously only if it isn't doctor diagnosed) that it is thrush or some other vaginal irritation rather than a UTI?

One line jumped out at me wash before and after What are you washing with? If it is soap it can be very irritating to genitals. Again it wouldn't cause a UTI but could be an irritant.

As other PP says, are you sure its UTI?

I get BV after sex with DP (Despite never 'douching' or washing down there with soap. I keep a regular supply of off the shelf treatment for it.

Never ever wash with soap down there OP, its not good for you and can cause all kinds of things...

Have you both been tested for STIs?

My partner gets this pretty much every time we have sex, it's made worse after a few drinks.
Try a product called Ural, you can buy it in the supermarket, it is a soluble powder and seems to work wonders.

Thanks for replies.

In all honesty, I’ve had this for so long that I feel like there’s not much I don’t know about when it comes to uti. Unfortunately.

So to answer some questions..

I usually have a urine dip test to get antibiotics. I know it’s definitely that. I can usually feel it coming before the pain even starts. This is confirmed by the test strip which usually contains blood too. Deffo not BV.

I never ever wash with soap down below.

Yes we have both been tested for sti.

I’ve battled with this ever since I became sexually active. Sex is my trigger. Been checked out by a specialist and there’s nothing underlying.

I was surprised when I got with my partner that for 2 years i didn’t get a uti. And we sometimes had sex twice a day at first. Since TTC and not using a condom I get a uti if we have sex 2 days in a row. I’m usually always ok if it’s just one day.

I just really wanted to rant and see if anyone else had this same issue when it came to being put off sex. Even though I don’t want to be! It makes me so sad even though my partner is very understanding.

Gosh that sounds awful

This won't help the ttc but can you do other things sexually? It keeps the closeness and intimacy without having PIV sex. My partner and I rarely have PIV sex but we do other things usually every other day. Everyone is different but we're happy with that because we have so much fun. Plus I don't orgasm as much with PIV and we've definitely explored each other more fully

Use a condom on all non fertile days again? And have sex once when it’s your fertile window?

I haven’t had an infection for 6 months now, but only because we only have sex about once a month and the rest of the time using a syringe for TTC. I would just love to be able to not have to worry about it! Thank god DP is fine with it. I often read about posters on here whose other half’s want/pester for sex a few times a week and I think to myself...I’d have to be single!

Instead of just rolling over in the morning and getting into it, it’s a planned task. Where I have to shower, and drink enough so that I’m not bursting for a wee but have enough to go afterwards. And I don’t like doing it before bed in case I fall asleep and don’t pee enough times in the night.

I worry that we are are becoming too used to it and I don’t want us to become like 2 mates who share a house.

Thanks for your suggestion Water. I think it’s something we should try.

I think we will try that Bella. The problem is, I’m still scared 😣. But I have now bought myself some urine dip sticks so I can try to keep an eye on things myself a bit.

I have a prescription for anti biotics to take after sex. I haven't had a UTI in months, so it definitely works

If you use self-insemination anyway, why on earth don't you go back to using condoms all the time?

(Also, how is his hygiene?)

I used to regularly get UTI's too, and like you tried everything that's usually suggested to stop them. But I haven't had one for about a year now, which literally stopped when I cut out sugar from my diet. I also used to drink fruit cider, until i found out how much sugar was in them. So my theory is that higher sugar levels in urine allowed the bacteria to multiply. So I went from at least one a month, to (fingers crossed) none for over a year. But they are totally miserable so hopefully you can find a solution.

I have considered the option of an antibiotic after sex, but I don’t really want to be messing around with antibiotics in that way. I’m already resistant to one type and that is scary.

His hygiene is good. Showers daily and before sex. Brushes his teeth twice a day..and again if we’re going to have sex so nothing unhygienic there either.

The reason we haven’t used condoms again is because we have literally just gone to having sex when I’m ovulating. Once a month at the moment. Because I’m scared. Even though I think condoms were what prevented it for 2 years, I’m not positive. I’ve reached that conclusion through a process of elimination. And that’s why I’m posting really. Something which should be a bond between my partner and I, something enjoyable...is now really scary. I don’t want to go through getting more infections to find the answer to not getting them, but if I sort of have to .

I’ve read about a link between uti and sugar. I doubt I could successfully cut sugar completely but I do try to limit it when we’re active so that’s something to think about a little more, thank you.

Erm, thanks for sharing pawel 🙄

Oh poor you.... I go through periods of having UTIs - not brought on by sex though. I too like you have done everything under the sun to try to stop. Here are a few things that you havnet mentioned that I do. I take good quality high count pro biotics most days - there is research that shows that taking these can prevent UTIs. My mum swears by taking giant cranberry tablets every day for the same issue.

I have to be really careful what soap I use on my body. Even though I dont put it down there - I can only wash with Simple body wash or I get a UTI or thrush. One other thing is that I have to wash all my knickers and reusable sanitary pads twice. Once on a normal wash and then again with no washing up liquid to remove the residue. At different times of the month Im more suseptible - just before and just after my period, so have to be extra vigilant at these times.... Hope some of this might help - I feel your pain (literally)

I always have a new partner every time. And have awesome sex. That is why I haven't problems like yours.

you clearly can’t read properly.

Thanks for the reply Delphic, I’ll reply properly a little bit later.

I used to be like this and take a one a day antibiotic and havent had an infection for months. Maybe 12 months? I cant recommend them enough, UTIs are miserable.

I recommend cutting out sugar. And actually wine. I don't know if you are a glass in the evening type, but I find that wine really irritates my bladder if I drink it frequently.

Have you ever heard of boric acid suppositories?
The're not easy to get in the UK but I've seen them on ebay.

They seem to be very commonly used in the US though.

Two things:

• Sugar does this to me. I have had to cut it out nearly entirely - and that has worked

• Do you use lube? And, if so, what?

I went through this with my first boyfriend. Turns out I have a short urethra and this was causing the problem as bacteria was entering the bladder easier, sorry bit tmi.

I ended up seeing a urologist and after a small procedure rarely have them now, not had one in over 10 years now in fact

Prior to that I was on so many antibiotics. It's worth getting a referral to a urologist.

I could definitely cut down on sugar, so I will try and give it a good go.

I’ve never heard of boric acid suppositories but will look them up. Though I’m not sure I’m keen on the idea too much.

Yes we use lube. At the moment we use ‘sliquid organics oceanics natural lubricant’. It isn’t a fertility lube but won’t harm the sperm because it’s the right ph level. No parabens or glycerins. Before TTC we used a Tesco’s water based lube with no nasties in. No infections using that. Had 1 infection after using a fertility lube from boots.

@Windmillwhirl is that a stretching procedure? I’ve vaguely heard of this and tried to google it before. Was it an easy and pain free procedure? I’m deffo interested in hearing more about it.

Me I get this 😢 have done for the past 14 years no matter what I do I still get it and then am on antibiotics constantly . It put me off having sex a while back . Xxx