Good riddance but so angry

[Deadtome]

Got shot of abusive exH who also turned out to have a hooker-habit but am left so angry. I know I’ll be told that the best revenge is to live my best life but is it so wrong to want him to pay?

He is paying right now. In about a decade he'll realise he was a twat. Play thr long game and be happy with you when he sees the light.
Get tested for STIs and get on with your life.

How long ago did you separate? Time is often the best healer as well as focus on yourself.

How much time do you think you spend thinking about him vs time spent on yourself? Have a list of things you want to do as that helps

He’s moved onto his next victim though and living as though he’s done nothing wrong. I’ve been too ashamed to tell people the real reasons for our split and I know he’ll have painted himself as, if not the injured party, then at least as only partly to blame. I want him outed for who he really is.

tell close family and friends the truth sod everyone else

Yadnbu

The shame isn't yours to feel, it's his. Focus on yourself and your future. Soon be a new year and a new decade. Make plans!

I want to tell his latest victim, no doubt currently being love bombed, about his little past time.

I get that, but you'd simply come across as the 'jealous ex' and she won't believe you.

He's her problem now, not yours. Be thankful for that!

I am thankful but it doesn’t seem to be enough right now.

Have faith. It takes time. Just make sure that every decision you make about your life is in keeping with the goals you have for yourself. Life will plod on and your progress will seem exhaustingly slow......

Then one day, you'll realise, hey, it's so obvious that I'm in a much better place.

Tell people why you split up!

Don't let him control the narrative and portray himself as the victim.

It's not your shame. It's his.

Please don't say anything to his new victim.She'll see through the love bombing too.
He'll try to make you appear unhinged.
None of this is your fault. Been there, have the bloody t shirt.
Stay strong
Hugs to you

see

Thanks @RumbleDoll and sorry to hear you’ve been through similar. I didn’t see through it for a long time and I suppose I think that’s why she won’t either. He’s getting the validation he so badly needs from her and I just want to take that away from him, the way he has taken my everything.

It will be enough for you sometime down the line when you have your dignity still attached, you are happy and you have everything you need in life. It really will.

It will never be enough if you remain bitter.

Keep your head up high OP

Had considered going to the police about his habit as it’s illegal in this jurisdiction...but not sure they’d do anything.

@Deadtome
You have yourself.
Please don't be bitter, it'll just eat you up.
I know it's hard right now but, honestly, give yourself time and focus on yourself.
I'm two years down the line and the old me is back.
It'll get better x

Trying not to be bitter but still have to see him cos of the DC. It’s so hard. He has taken away our chance of a normal family life. Find myself dreading Christmas.

I think you should tell people, even his new woman. If it was me I'd want to know and even if he explained it away it would mean something when I started having my own suspicions. I hate it when people cover up this stuff as your just helping him move on to someone else by hiding it away and she will go through the exact same thing as you. Who knows, maybe a previous partner went through the same. Dont you wish she had told you even if you didnt believe her?

Of course I wish someone had told me. I’m not even supposed to know about his new victim though...so don’t know how I’d tell her.

Deadtome been there too and I truly get it. It's shit and unfair.

It's normal to want revenge so don't fight the anger just don't act on it. Dignity is your best friend.

Personally, I found locking him out of my feelings was the best revenge. He had several honeymoon periods with new girlfriends after the split, between which he tried it on but couldn't get past my magic force field of indifference.
They don't like not being able to read you, they really don't.

Also, when the mask slips, as it invariably does, those who don't know yet will see him for what he is. But who cares anyway.
Gradually deciding not to give a fuck about him or waste any of your precious energy thinking about him will be your best revenge.

You can create a lovely atmosphere for your DC without him. I found channeling the anger into DC activities helped. Lots of cuddles too.
Wishing you lots of strength, I know Christmas can be a hard time. You will get past it though.
People like that are never truly happy, whereas you can look forward to that without him. So in a way, his personality will take care of the revenge for you.

Do you have any evidence; could you message it to her via SM. It could be fine anonymously. I suppose it would have to have something identifying him on it though, which it probably doesn't.

If that's the case, just tell everyone. Drop it in drily/almost casually "X has a little problem with using hookers", "X liked his extracurricular activity with hookers a bit too.much, that why we broke up" etc. Keep saying it and it'll get around - people love to talk.

*done

In saying that, boring and unsatisfying as it may seem; cutting him out if your thoughts and not letting him cause you anger, stress etc is probably the best way ... Just think he's a saddo degenerate who'll trip himself up again up sooner or later, could a third party so the child exchanges so you don't even have to see the bastard? Can you keep a phone/email solely for child issues etc