Good riddance but so angry

[Deadtome]

Got shot of abusive exH who also turned out to have a hooker-habit but am left so angry. I know I’ll be told that the best revenge is to live my best life but is it so wrong to want him to pay?

No, forced to see him unfortunately. If I told her anonymously somehow he’d still know it came from me.

What is likely to happen if he does realise you've told her?

(That's if you even have something that identifies him clearly, which is probably difficult).

The total breakdown of any communication we now have - he will probably refuse to see the DC and how will I explain that to them at Christmas? He is also a very angry person and frankly I am afraid of him.

You have every right to be angry. YANBU.

It doesn't sound worth it then.

He'll probably trip up and she'll find out sooner or later. Just be glad it's not you anymore.

He just sounds like an all round bastard & wanker. Well done for getting shot of him. And the time until.the kids can make up their own minds whether to see him I'd not will, as always, fly in.

Would counselling help you overcome all the anger etc ( presuming you haven't already had some).

*or not

he will probably refuse to see the DC and how will I explain that to them at Christmas? He is also a very angry person and frankly I am afraid of him.

Read what you have written and have a think.

1. He is such an evil abusive bastard that you are afraid of his reaction if you let people know about the awful things he has done. He is angry. He does bad bad things.

1. You know he's not much bothered about his children. He will happily fuck them over at Christmas, or any other time, to punish you.

1. You are going out of your way to make sure your children hang out with him.

This is going to sound harsh but don't you like your children? Are you really willing to lie to them that an abusive man is lovely? Why are you pushing them towards pain? Lying that he cares. He won't behave like a good dad but you'll be lying away saying he's OK so they'll decide the problem is them, they are unlovable, unworthy of this good man's love. Lovely mum says he loves us but we feel bad. Is this what it is like for a man to love? Pain? Fear? Mum says he loves us so this must be how it is.

Thanks for your comments Towel - really helpful. I don’t recall saying I was going out of my way to ensure my children spend time with him but he is their father. Neither did I say I lie to them that he is “lovely”. He is their father and the separation is hard enough on them already.