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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Would you bother to date someone who is leaving ?

45 replies

Alaska10 · 25/11/2019 17:30

I've been talking to a guy on OLD, find him really attractive and we seem to get on great but there's an issue (isn't there always !). He's leaving in 5 weeks' time to go travelling around Asia and Australia, with the intention of working in Australia.

He's said "it kills me because I know we would get on, but I still want to meet you."

I'm thinking he just wants sex, who does online dating when they are about to move across the world ? It would probably be a waste of time meeting him because I want a relationship, what would you do ?

OP posts:
Pipandmum · 25/11/2019 17:32

Not bother. Why's he on a dating site anyway? Move on.

Alaska10 · 25/11/2019 17:34

Yeah that's what I'm thinking. He seems really sweet (but anyone can). He's probably just looking to get laid with the perfect excuse of fucking off to Oz so cannot commit to anything.

OP posts:
LemonTT · 25/11/2019 17:35

Forget about it. He might have warm sentimental words but his intentions are far from romantic. He is looking for something to pass away his remaining time. It’s probably just sex.

Alaska10 · 25/11/2019 17:36

Yeah probably. How romantic 🙄 my friend got screwed over by someone doing this, I ain't no pass time lol

OP posts:
ReceptacleForTheRespectable · 25/11/2019 17:38

He's after sex. Which is great if that's what you're after too, but not if you're looking for a longer term prospect.

Alaska10 · 25/11/2019 17:40

Yeah, you're right. I don't do casual things like that, there is a part of me telling myself to meet him as I might regret it, he might be back after a short time etc. But that probably only happens in films 😂

OP posts:
Alaska10 · 25/11/2019 18:25

I have expressed my thoughts and he's said 'oh I might be back earlier but can't promise' and still saying he wants to meet me. Just gotta forget it.

OP posts:
faithandrob · 25/11/2019 18:33

'But can't promise' - Yeah, run like the wind OP.

Best of luck with your search for a handsome man with great chat x

Alaska10 · 25/11/2019 18:35

Yeah, he's probably trying to get me sweet so I will meet him. Thank you :)

OP posts:
AnneKipanki · 25/11/2019 18:35

Ignore

RaininSummer · 25/11/2019 19:26

Don't bother. Tell him to see if your profile is still there when he returns.

Alaska10 · 25/11/2019 19:30

Yeah I will deffo not bother now. He could be gone for a year, it's a very long time and a lot changes.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 25/11/2019 19:32

If he comes back, he can contact you. You'd be mad to see him now.

Alaska10 · 25/11/2019 19:33

Yeah.. It would be stupid to date him, get attached and then he buggers off to probably do the same thing over there. He probably won't even remember my name a year from now 😂

OP posts:
carrots555 · 25/11/2019 19:33

Having been burned in a similar manner, I'd not pursue further.

Alaska10 · 25/11/2019 19:34

@carrots555 sorry to hear that. What happened exactly ? Happened to my friend too :/

OP posts:
KylieKoKo · 25/11/2019 19:38

I would probably meet him for fun and sex with no commitment. This guy has been honest and upfront about his plans. Being "just after sex" doesn't make him a bad person.

If you tend to fall for people you sleep with probably best to stay away as you will get hurt when he leaves.

Kaboni19 · 25/11/2019 19:40

It depends what you're after...I understand you're looking for a relationship but what harm would 1 date do? Unless you're likely to get super attached then maybe avoid.
I met someone who had already booked to travel for several months, he stuck to his plan and we've been together several years so anything can happen.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 25/11/2019 19:42

Wouldn’t bother and not that it matters but Sure he’s going? Seems like a good excuse for married men to have some quick fun and no
Back lash when they end things

Alaska10 · 25/11/2019 20:01

I do tend to get attached to guys I sleep with and i'm not interested in casual things. True he has been honest, it's all just very vague. I could go for one date but then might end up liking him and wanting to see him more.

OP posts:
Alaska10 · 25/11/2019 20:02

And no I don't think he is married, he looks very young to be 😂 probably just not in a relationship state of mind

OP posts:
flipperdoda · 25/11/2019 20:17

I wouldn't, he's clearly not on the dating site to find anything serious. Why do I say that? I'm actively not dating because I'm planning to relocate - in 6 months - to 2 hours away Grin

MrsFoxPlus4Again · 25/11/2019 20:19

Some people using dating sites exclusively for sex, wish him well and move along.

Lampan · 25/11/2019 20:26

DO NOT meet him. I have been in this situation twice! Even if you are fully aware that he is going away and try not to get attached, you still might do, and then it can cause months of angst and stress. Focus your energy on dating people who can form a proper relationship with you, if that is what you are hoping to find.

SonataDentata · 25/11/2019 21:07

He wants a last shag before he goes. Don’t be gullible.

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