Would you bother to date someone who is leaving ?

[Alaska10]

I've been talking to a guy on OLD, find him really attractive and we seem to get on great but there's an issue (isn't there always !). He's leaving in 5 weeks' time to go travelling around Asia and Australia, with the intention of working in Australia.

He's said "it kills me because I know we would get on, but I still want to meet you."

I'm thinking he just wants sex, who does online dating when they are about to move across the world ? It would probably be a waste of time meeting him because I want a relationship, what would you do ?

His name isn't Oliver is it?

Not Oliver no @sheldonismyspiritanimal 😁 did this happen to you too ? Deffo won't meet him thanks for helping me to see sense on here.
Agreed looking just for sex doesn't mean he is a bad person but not compatible with me.
My friend dated a guy in the navy, he was due to go away for 6 months, he had told his family about her and everything he claimed, said he had 'never felt this way' and then just suddenly went cold on her before going and blocked her.

Nope

But I’m not into causal sex

Not happened to me but it sounds like someone I know

I’m wouldn’t meet him . He might see it as an easy lay. Sorry .

Avoid, especially if you have that habit of only feeling the chemistry when the guy is not properly committed. That used to me, and this situation is a formula for hooking you but making you feel bad if you're anything like i was!

A friend of mine was all set to move to Spain, when he met someone on OLD. They got on well and he stayed. They've been together for about 6 years now or something, married for 2. I imagine that's less likely than other scenarios, though.

It works for some people. I had a student friend who only ever fell for guys who were about to emigrate/depart for a year abroad, but she resolved it by marrying a long distance lorry-driver who’s always about to depart.

@Gallivespian that is a sweet story ! It's all booked and paid for so sadly (and understandably) I doubt he will be jacking it in for me.
He probably did just want an easy lay and something to pass the time.

Only if I were interested in a brief fling. As you're not, no.

He's just looking for a few shags before leaving.
I wouldn't waste anymore time with him. Delete and block.

Yeah.. Plus if he's only considering me now as someone he wants a few shags with, I doubt he will suddenly want a relationship with me when he gets back 🙄

Trust your head, and wait to meet someone who wants to invest time with you . Spend time thinking about yourself, enjoying life with people who are here , and if he returns and he is genuinely interested he will get back in touch . You can then make that decision wether to meet .

Honestly,

I would forget about him. He is leaving soon. You'll end up getting attached. He obviously wants some booty before he leaves. Trust me, I've been in this situation before as well ...

Oh hell, that is hilarious. I was actually seeing whose name was Oliver too. He only wanted a casual relationship 🙄

Thanks for these replies. Knowing me, I would probably have dated him, got attached, then he gets with someone over there. There will be guys looking for long term and staying here.

I would agree to meet him... when he is back.

Problem with dating someone who is about to leave is that you end up over attached very quickly due to the sense that “you are made for each other but (bring the violins in) it is Not meant to be”

I was in the same situation, but I was the one who was leaving. With so little time in our hands we made the best of it and were still very much in the lust “honeymoon” period by the time the day of my flight arrived, by then I was already a diamond ring on my finger (when the right person arrives, you just now, don’t you? (Not really) We also appeared to be tremendously compatible under the spell of the romance, admittedly we had with similar backgrounds, careers, family values, earnings and ambitions but... anyhow, we spent a year missing each other PAINFULLY (and organising the wedding via Skype).

Wonderful the wedding was but I can honestly tell you that by the time we came back from the honeymoon I already knew I had married the wrong man, then foolishly spent the next ten years of my life saving a marriage because we had such an amazing time in those early months, and that was “us” and we could bring that back. Obviously, that wasn’t us, could never bring it back, we are now happily divorced and avoiding each other like the plague.

After talking to a few friends, apparently this is a trick used by men OLD to get sex. Some of them really are going away but others are just saying that to put the sense of urgency into the situation.

That's disgusting that some men even lie about going away. Do they think we are never going to find out 🙄

The ones that use that lie can easily tell you they love you so much they changed their plans, cancelled the trip or decide to put it in hold because their mum is ill, which is a lie as well but hey ho...